chadchadwoski

Hercules picking Pretzy as a sidekick (or vice versa) seems so insanely random that it reminded me of a famous Twilight Zone episode. In it, a man is chosen at random, by a couple of aliens, to be given the strength of 100 men. He uses his powers to prove he isn't worthless, and just as he is about to make it on top, the aliens take away all his powers and is ridiculed. As the episode closes, a couple of different aliens decide to give him infinite knowledge, and presumably this goes on and on. My pitch: Pretzy is the main protagonist for a franchise where he is paired with gods from various religion. There's Quetzalcoatl, starring Pretzy and Danny Trejo. There's Vishnu, starring Pretzy and Kumail Nanjiani. There's Buddhavista, starring Pretzy and Lucy Liu. And then L. Ron Hubbard, starring Pretzy and Nicholas Cage. (The casting was just the first people of the corresponding heritage that I could come up with.)

This is for a future episode (after it has been released on dvd on August 13th) but you must do Olympus Has Fallen. It should have been titled Bonkers Action Film. There is no logical thinking during one minute of this entire movie. It recieved a 6.9 on IMDb, probably because of the near non-stop action. And Morgan Freeman is president (as he should be in every movie). Please rip this movie apart so I don't feel like the only other person who thought this was complete garbage.

I went to the website selling tickets for your live show here in NYC and it says you are sold out. But I also see you and Jason will be participating in the Del Close Marathon. Jason 4 times, you only twice, and June a grand total of zero!? June is plenty funny on the show, so why is she avoiding this fantastic comedy-palooza?

I just watched this movie, and while bad, I doubt it is actually the worst movie Ebert ever saw. It's not extraordinarily bad, just regular '80'scomedy bad. But so many questions. Who decided to make Lt. Girlfriend act as a typical business woman instead of a hardened cop who probably had to face a lot of prejudices while rising the ranks of a male dominated field? Also, has this costume designer never heard of pant-suits? Pretty sure they were around when this movie came out. On that note, this movie just goes to show that the late 80's early 90's (released in 1992) were an atrocity to fashion. His decision to wear the loudest shirts known to man paired with a corduroy jacket? Lt. Girlfriend's shirt with Roman paintings on it? And denim jeans wore above the belly button with the awful shirts tucked in? Fashion, you fooled us all well. The first shootout was amazing as well. Sgt. Joe (Sly's character) is seen firing only 4 shots on screen before running out of bullets. Online, it says the average small 9mm holds 7-12 bullets in it's magazine. Did he forget to fully load his gun? This has to be a film first of a gun not lasting twice as long as it should. Also in that same scene he crushes a car door on a guys left hand causes the gun to fall out of the man's right hand. Fuck you physics. In his first scene at the precinct, some guy we probably never see again gives him a banana and walks away without a word. What? "Hey, I heard through the grapevine that you are low on potassium." Men don't casually give other men bananas, it's just not done. Quote: "Now there is a butt I could use for cover." 100's of police at his precinct, but he takes on the duties of undercover agent, hostage negotiator and homicide detective. I guess you could throw DEA agent in there at the end. Decorative jack-o-lantern in Sgt. Joe's home? Sly's partner is the most animated chewer ever captured on film. Another quote: "Her cookies suck!" This leads Sly, a grown man, to give another grown man a swirley. SPOILER ALERT Sly stopping the plane boggled the mind. A big rig cab that is by the side of an airport, looks rusted, does not only work but apparently also has the keys in it. Plus a cop can drive it without any training. Plus make it drift into a U-turn. Then he starts raming apart parts of the plane, blowing out a tire. All this with his mother inside the plane. Then he just drives the truck into the propeller. A cargo planes propeller going through a semi trucks combustion engine and no explosion. Fuck you physics, again. Also another film first of a vehicle not exploding in an action sequence. And finally, when his mom shoots Sly. Giant gun + close range = flesh wound? He should have had such a big hole in his shoulder his arm could have fallen off.