AdamFlowers

Montage of me trimming nose & ear hair in SloMo to this: http://t.co/CnbyHTPqeX

Neil Young, I love "A Man Needs a Maid", but some of the lyrics don't quite work, do they?

My Gout™ Influence Score is 89.

Is Cyprus going to be an economic Sarajevo?

Twitter is 7 today. Is it too late to stuff it into a pillow case with a heavy rock & throw it off the bridge into the river?

Limerick Master. http://t.co/duc8Ce18FX

When I'm cooling down with my Bros after a tough workout, I drink Joint Milk to stave off the debilitating creep of arthritis.

THE CHISELER • BLACKS AND A WHITE http://t.co/9ngqNvrbH8

I'm going on a lunch date with my gorgeous wife, @SunsetGamerBabe. Why am I slightly nervous? I hope she thinks I'm cool! #TooLate

Only a mother's love. RT “@TheRealRoseanne: My daughter does not cook her chicken meals properly at times, yet she seems to be improving!”

Close your eyes. Tanya Boyd. You're welcome.

Ben Stiller, If your "Secret Life of Walter Mitty" isn't good, I will never invite you over for cupcakes EVER AGAIN. #Promise

¡VIVA PUERTO RICO! http://t.co/4Y1AlLKObC

I wanna paint stylized flames all over your face.

G Maj - D Maj - a minor - C Maj gets me almost every time.

If any of us met the characters from #Girls at a restaurant, they would be the annoying people we complained about later to our friends.

Guys, let's not be so mean, OK. We can be funny, biting, though-provoking, even subversive, and still be kind. #PooPoo #FartSmells

Remember when it was so important to be right? & that we believed there was such a thing as "right"? Ah, youth.

#ThereIsADifferenceBetween us.

In hindsmell, that WAS a nasty fart.

"No Parking On the Dance Floor" just came on the radio & I am dancing like HELL.

This "In Time" SNL digital short with Justin Timberlake is funny, I guess, but it's almost 2 hrs. long. Nothing "short" about it! #ShortFail

As team Japan team lines up on 3rd base line to bow to crowd, my 1/2 Japanese American wife asks, "Are they going to commit sepukku now?"