AdamFlowers

If it wasn't for Twitter I wouldn't have met some great people, but I'd read the words "Beyonce", "Bitcoin" & "Jodi Arias" a lot less, so...

30/40 somethings: When it comes to advertising with 8-bit music LOOK OUT. They are trying to manipulate you with nostalgia!

I need a 38 DDD cup of coffee! *high fives anthropomorphized sense of inwardly-focused disgust & shame*

I have it on good authority today is gonna rule. Big Mountain's cover of Baby I Love Your Way came on @House_Of_Coffee so everyone CHILL

Dear fans of Beyonce, Bieber, Taylor Swift, Rihanna, et al: No one has ever ridiculed my love of Otis Redding. Because he is GOOD.

Titter dot comI WISH

In 50 years, all of America will look like Klay Thompson and Steph Curry.

"My defense is this, your Honor: the Karaoke bar didn't have 'Bittersweet' by Big Head Todd & the Monsters, so SOMEONE HAD TO DIE, ya know?"

All aboard! #rallyzito #sfgiants https://t.co/Bq33LsxxzE

#TextsFromJoe pt 1 http://t.co/KYEL5IegK9

"G.L.O.W.'s before Stroh's!" If people in the 80's had stupid memes other than "Where's the Beef?"

Mike Krukow maybe a total hometowner, but he is always so positive and complementary to good players on the other team. #TeamNice

I like all the scavenging gulls here at the Stonestown Trader Joe's. Their cries make me feel like I'm in an episode of "Voyage of the Mimi"

Babá Boœy

If you could see inside my skull, you'd find some Jonathan Winters & Bill Cosby LPs, some issues of Players Pictorial & tumbleweeds.

Jimi Hendrix: "Have you ever been to Electric Ladyland?"Mayor of Steam-Powered Ladyland: "How DARE you, Sir?"

I regret that I was just old enough 20 years ago to find "Jurassic Park" disappointing.

Let's get small.

This makes me think of what might've been. Can you imagine what this world would be like if Sassy was still around? http://t.co/ZoaHX7lBwA

Three games in & I'm already cheesed off there's no #SFGiants game tonight.

I just accidentally read the words "Top Ten Meme Lines of the Year Thus Far" & now I feel angry, abused, betrayed, & alone.

Is Mark Sanford real? I feel like he is a character from some awful short story I wrote on Creative Writing in college.

PULL TIM.

William Holding #PotMovieStars *waits in bushes until hashtag goes worldwide viral*

I would buy @WilliamShatner or @ABFalecbaldwin's Twitter Style Guides