THEPokerWife

#FF @kimmycupcakes1 ....cause she just gave me a trophy and now I want to make out with her.

#ohshit #thewalkingdead http://t.co/Lv64gDgObF

#StPatricksDay Dinner #1 http://t.co/yBGUfZvcCh

#TriggerSong Any song by Bare Naked Ladies but especially If I Had A Million Dollars ... It epitomizes "Frat Rock" @ChristinaP @tomsegura

Adorably pudgy version of @nerdist is EASILY the best part of Terminator 3

Celebrity sneeze face #02 After Lately http://t.co/FYCQTbFJ5T

Dave & Busters sounds like a gay bar....I'm not sure it's not.

I ALMOST starred you......... When what I REALLY wanted to do, was kick you in the nuts.

I feel like I'm the only fat ass, who will eat french fries 10 minutes after a line.

I hate to say this twitter ...... But there is someone else............ Vine is a sexy, funny ass, son of a bitch!!!

I have been watching American Idol for like 10 minutes and have not even caught a glimpse of Nicki Minajs ass ..... I call bullshit!

I love humans.....Sorry that's not accurate....I love hummus.......... Humans are just o.k.

I love Project Runway.... But they aren't doing great for the "crying gay man" stereotype

I'm confused..... Are ninjas NOT magic?.... I thought ninjas were magic.

I'm only drinking the coffee to pretend I'm not drinking the whiskey

I'm smoking my breakfast... And thanks to @PoliticallyILL1 .... I'm doing it out of a nice shiny trophy http://t.co/1JbjlPp611. THANKS!

If it wasn't for Game of Thrones starting on Sunday night.... I would probably be suicidal over The Walking Dead season finally.

If you are looking for me later..... I'll probably be puking on my neighbors lawn.#HappyStPatricksDay

March Madness a.k.a. Girlfriend Sadness...... That was lame.... And I apologize.

Matthew Lillard has mastered the "I'm so crazy, I can't stop smiling" School of acting.

My martini was served my favorite way....... To full for olives. http://t.co/Ro8NVU4YJX

NBA: Damn Gina ...... Has been making me giggle for days..... I love you @peteholmez

Nothing like a creepy whistle to say..... "What ever I say....DON'T COME OUT!" #TheWalkingDead #OuttaThere

Nothing like a creepy whistle to say..... "What ever I say....DON'T COME OUT!" #TheWalkingDead #OuttaThere

Pinterest: when having a dream board isn't embarrassing enough.... Show everyone.