schadenfreudian

!!!!!! "@EugeneMirman: I play Cecil Tunt in the new new episode of @ArcherFX http://t.co/jhxNJDWrZD"

"@chilcote: Proud of team Pube Goldberg for taking second place in the bar trivia finals. Not bad for not giving a fuck." Next time-t shirts

"@HappyPlace: Moms discover true meaning of Easter during bloody Easter egg hunt brawl. http://t.co/Z6t7DrBk5J" Nice work, Seattle.

"@peeweeherman: Happy St. Patrick's Day!!! http://t.co/3GkP7mzJiU" It's Alfred O'Newman!

"@tomwaits: The Stones & Tom Waits performing 'Little Red Rooster' live at the Oracle Arena, last night. http://t.co/perDrTxS5J" oh my god

"Game Of Thrones? More like Lame Of Groans, am I right? "- dipshit who doesn't understand good TV when he sees it. #giterdone

"It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…Let’s go exploring!" This is the greatest bedroom a kid could have. http://t.co/RlNCRmWu2T

"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?" #Airplane!

"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?" #Airplane!

"Something shitty and unfunny... APRIL FOOLS!" - the internet

"Want to sit on daddy's lap and read the zombie book." #thingsmytoddlersaysatbreakfast

"Y.O.L.T."- James Bond

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Official Trailer: http://t.co/3rFGlOLw1N via @youtube

Airplane! is on HBO. Hold my calls. #nunslife

And then there's this (wait for it) http://t.co/GbcVZbMgYF via @youtube

Animaniacs alternate theme song lyrical endings: http://t.co/ezy2nfkxUH via @youtube

Archer and his mommy at Green Lake tonight, proving that Seattle is the beautifullest city in the world. http://t.co/smlM1xi80W

At this point, the only thing that might possibly salvage this stupid shitball waste of a day is listening to some metal... right now.

Been listening to this Supreme Court hearing. My favorite part has been hearing Olson blow his nose into the mic. #headphones #bursteardrums

Congrats to the new pope. Best of luck on all your future cover-ups. #thepopedoesntknowiexist

Don't think of it as suppressing rage, think of it as creating an anger diamond.

Excited nerds give each other Pi fives.

Extra proud of @Spookeegirl & @indoorvoice today. This is for you, you magnificent bastards. http://t.co/YHT2ql1PHe

Fine then. You guys do whatever you want, I'm gonna listen to The Vandals.

For social networking, The Vision uses Phasebook. (Kitty Pryde's on it, too). #nerd