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They just released this on Netflix. Holy shit. Just. The Canyons.

1. Have we acknowledged that Husbandcop broke into the general store (that I assumed to be closed) where the little girl was all alone, has a threatening conversation, and after he didn't get any answers, violently slams open the front door and walks right pastsed the Dad coming in. Her dad just witnessed a clearly drunk, angry and excessively sweaty man that his daughter was alone with. His reaction? He SHRUGS and goes "ready?" WHAT. NO. WRONG QUESTION YOU PIECE OF SHIT. 2. I'm starting to have real beef with these "lovemaking" scenes in romantic movies. No joke: for a stupidly long time I thought sex was sticking it in slow-mo and just laying on top of each other sighing while pawing at each others' shoulder blades. Ladies, these movies are robbing us of our potential for ugly-faced orgasms from clumsy thrusting. Spread the word: when you make love, no one wins. Or cums.

this made me laughcry so hard.

^^^ Agreed. Say what you want about the music; the scene that came out of Dave Bazan's "Big Trucks" is the best fucking thing on the planet.

Lyft is the Trader Joe's of car services. I hate when I'm at checkout and the guy is looking at my basket full of booze and candy and says "heyooo, havin' a party?" and I'm like "nope." I vote for a "Case Closed" podcast hosted by Eric the paid intern.

"LOL II: The Chickenfucker Diaries"

I dunno man, the little brothers seemed to be unwilling casualties in a prison of neglect. Bill Maplewood would be all over that shit.

Seriously. They should have realized this story was a tragedy about the downfall of the American Dream. The bleak existence of everyone in this movie is heartbreaking.

I know I'm late to the party but have we talked about when miley cyrus fakes being a disabled person in the home of a disabled person? and then it cuts to her and the guy laughing their asses off going "haha! deaf mute!" Alongside slipping your grandma roofies, I'd add it to her "why I'm going to hell" list. These kids are flat-out shitheads. No "save the cat" moment for this rascal crew.

welcome back to "Butt Talk!"

#notallbutts

My friend's grandpa recently got conned out of $5000 by one of those shitheads, but they told him to go to CVS and buy 10 $500 gift cards.

I pray for a "Case Closed: Royal Rumble."

EDIT: original link got removed. hopefully this one stays put.