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They just released this on Netflix. Holy shit. Just. The Canyons.

1. Have we acknowledged that Husbandcop broke into the general store (that I assumed to be closed) where the little girl was all alone, has a threatening conversation, and after he didn't get any answers, violently slams open the front door and walks right pastsed the Dad coming in. Her dad just witnessed a clearly drunk, angry and excessively sweaty man that his daughter was alone with. His reaction? He SHRUGS and goes "ready?" WHAT. NO. WRONG QUESTION YOU PIECE OF SHIT. 2. I'm starting to have real beef with these "lovemaking" scenes in romantic movies. No joke: for a stupidly long time I thought sex was sticking it in slow-mo and just laying on top of each other sighing while pawing at each others' shoulder blades. Ladies, these movies are robbing us of our potential for ugly-faced orgasms from clumsy thrusting. Spread the word: when you make love, no one wins. Or cums.

this made me laughcry so hard.

^^^ Agreed. Say what you want about the music; the scene that came out of Dave Bazan's "Big Trucks" is the best fucking thing on the planet.

Lyft is the Trader Joe's of car services. I hate when I'm at checkout and the guy is looking at my basket full of booze and candy and says "heyooo, havin' a party?" and I'm like "nope." I vote for a "Case Closed" podcast hosted by Eric the paid intern.

"LOL II: The Chickenfucker Diaries"

I dunno man, the little brothers seemed to be unwilling casualties in a prison of neglect. Bill Maplewood would be all over that shit.

Seriously. They should have realized this story was a tragedy about the downfall of the American Dream. The bleak existence of everyone in this movie is heartbreaking.

I know I'm late to the party but have we talked about when miley cyrus fakes being a disabled person in the home of a disabled person? and then it cuts to her and the guy laughing their asses off going "haha! deaf mute!" Alongside slipping your grandma roofies, I'd add it to her "why I'm going to hell" list. These kids are flat-out shitheads. No "save the cat" moment for this rascal crew.

welcome back to "Butt Talk!"

#notallbutts

My friend's grandpa recently got conned out of $5000 by one of those shitheads, but they told him to go to CVS and buy 10 $500 gift cards.

I pray for a "Case Closed: Royal Rumble."

EDIT: original link got removed. hopefully this one stays put.

passive aggressive morning news http://youtube.com/watch?v=4lJAASppkl4

As someone who was groomed and taken advantage by a (married) boss when I was in my early 20s, I think there's something more to the "I was young" statement than what was addressed. The publicity stunts were not dignified moves on Lewinsky's part and she may not have been at all innocent in this, but as a general idea I feel compelled to address the issue of power play. In my case it was not an affair, but I ignored the predatory aspects of this man because I desperately wanted this career path, allowing myself to be constantly harrassed both physically and verbally, on top telling myself it was my own problem for not objecting so it technically couldn't be labeled assault. But I was legitimately terrified of losing this job and I worked for this person for a much longer time than I care to admit. Had it not been for brief a moment of clarity it could have been even longer. I guess I just want to speak on behalf of young people getting manipulated by someone else in higher power. I overall very much like Bill Clinton and HOPE that this was not the case. Again, it could have been completely consensual in every sense of the word. I don't know the details of the relationship. I just believe that the circumstance is something to consider. I think it is grossly self-indulgent to take someone else's tragedy and use it to declare yourself "patient zero," but I sincerely do think there's something to be said about the "i was young" argument.

there it is

I noticed that too! It was Melanie, when they went fishing. They had set up a picnic of loaves of bread.

I have to say, I agree with June about the first hour of the movie. I was RIVETED by Allan's psychological journey. And the sex scene made my heart swell for him. This could have been a quality lifetime movie sans the whirlwind that was the killer monkey agenda.

Scott Steiner teaches math:

I suppose this could technically be filed under "trying to be funny," but this is somebody's earnest attempt to get into University of Southern California. http://youtube.com/watch?v=FdxEEgLCUf8 video application to USC in the description: "UCSB Class of 2016" :c

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Oj-98DN4EAI you get the gist in the first minute, then skip to 2:09. From Wikipedia: "Alexyss K. Tylor is a motivational speaker, lecturer, author, and musician. Tylor is a licensed real estate agent and founder of a non-profit organization for abused women and children. Her public access show was broadcast on People TV...She does not hold a Ph.D. in Relationship Psychology or Human Sexuality, but according to her in a video posted on YouTube she does have a "masters degree in being played by men and in being used by men." Just listened to 49; Tylor already made an appearance.