BeingAllFishies

If anyone was in the same room as that dress and didn't immediately put it on, they're a fool.

I'm yet another person for whom the reveal worked perfectly and was awesome. I think it's more obvious if you go into the film knowing Gene Simmons is the big name, so you're looking for him, and also if you know what he looks like. XD Couple things: 1. In the tomato scene muttnik mentioned, I love that one of the henchmen says, "Yeah, eat it! Make him eat it!" I expected Stamos to be like, "Um, okay, fine. I mean, it's a tomato, I was probably going to eat it later anyway." 2. I like that when Vanity picks Stamos up after she shoots the bikers, he gets in the car with no problem, and then as soon as she pulls away he shouts, "Hey, my bike!" (Actually, Cliff's bike) But why did you get in the car without any questions about what would happen to your own vehicle? Why not just ride after her? And finally, Lazenby is the best Bond. It's all about respect for women. (In fact, this movie knew how lucky it was to get him. In the credits, he's called a "Special Guest Star." In a movie. As TVTropes.com puts it, "How exactly someone can 'guest star' in a production that doesn't have a regular cast is left as an exercise to the reader.")

FYI if anyone is debating whether to watch Never Too Young To Die, it's a HARD watch. At 1 hr. 11 min. it suddenly becomes the best movie in history.

Way to go female audience members! Especially the infinity scarf knitter--you go girl! I'm not certain as I'm not an LA person, but was the final fight with Tody shot at Vasquez Rocks or "Kirk's Rocks," i.e. the famous rock formation where Kirk fought the green monster dude in the original Star Trek? I think it was, but it's not on Wikipedia. If not, it looked very similar and I think it was an intentional reference, with our hero fighting a green monster and all. This location has been used in dozens of movies and TV shows: Blazing Saddles, Dante's Peak, Murder She Wrote and MacGyver...and I think most cleverly, we can all agree, in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.

So happy I watched this one. Great ep and great guest. Now then. 1) I was really surprised no one pointed this out, since it was in the trailer--what is up with the way she pronounces U2 in "It's the new U2 song"? She puts the emphasis on the U, like some old people say "TV"! Is that how people pronounced U2 in the 80s? Please say yes. 2) Re: Cameron H pointing out the implied cheerleaders' sexualities -- I'm pretty sure they were all desperately repressing their latent homosexuality. Running around with terrifying fake grins and screaming "I LIKE BOYS!" is the only way these young women can keep from constantly making out with each other. 3) Sorry if I missed something, but I don't think Guzman and Hats ever made up at the end. They're just, um, not firends anymore I guess? I mean, Hats gets to dance with her white rapper in a song that inexplicably lasts about 45 seconds...unclear if that has anything to do with Guzman...but the girls never speak again. I guess it goes along with the overall moral, that being popular is the only thing that's important and anyone who isn't can GTFO.

This was a really great show. Y'all said just about all I wanted to say, I just wanted to point out... 1) The boring, boring, boring intro sequence. I mean wow, I almost turned it off before the credits were over. I think they were trying to go for something like the 1988 Batman, where the camera's moving all cool around abstract shapes, but it turns out that pouring molten steel is just not that interesting to watch after a minute. Also the Batman intro ends with it zooming back awesomely to the Batman icon, and I expected this to end with a Steel icon too. Instead it just slinks away in shame. 2) Just the sheer level of contempt that Shaq and his tiny brother have for their grandmother's (entirely reasonable) idea to combine Julia Child recipes with her homestyle cooking. Their eyes just roll so hard every time she mentions it. She's the only woman in the film who isn't exploded horribly within five minutes of her introduction, and it's just so they can laugh at her behind her back. 3) "Those broken ribs are really bothering you, aren't they?" "...Nah."

I think this has been mentioned before, but it deserves its own thread. Martial arts Vietnam vet who fights like a slightly more athletic Chuck Norris and talks like William Shatner, protecting a school full of terrible hippies from...I'm not sure? Gang of Southern sheriffs? Just watch this trailer and tell me it wouldn't be hilarious to make the Jason, June and Paul sit through. I just want an excuse to watch it. I learned about this masterpiece via Gladstone on Cracked.com. Thank you Gladstone.

One more thing just popped into my brain this morning. They commented on the lack of reaction the kids gives to seeing the whole town murdered. True for the most part, he kind of just stares blankly at the bodies and continues on his bike. But after he's seen the last body, he gives this reaction shot where he shakes his head in what I can only describe as world-weary anger. Comparable to the end of Planet of the Apes: "You really finally did it. You maniacs! You blew it up!" That fucking kid knows more than he's letting on.

Oh, and PS, I just wish that for one hour of my life I could curse like a Bible salesman getting run down by a truck. "Hot sucka! Son of a bitch--outta my way, bitch! Fuck!" "I'm gonna tear em off, boy!" "You snot bag! Snotball!" "You wanna rock and roll with me, pus-face?" "Right here, you long mouth scumball!"

Wow, I was amazed that we hadn't done this movie already. I think every time I watch it, I just hear the inevitable eventual* HDTGM episode in my brain. The real one did not disappoint. I'm glad they brought up the stupefying "You're cute" line, but that whole scene bears examination. The Road Twitch's full line to him is "You're cute. (long pause while he laughs awkwardly) Not that cute." She doesn't say it meanly, but not in a flirting way either. She would just like him to know that he is a small amount of cute. Which is not untrue. Then there are some long, pointless shots of stuff in the parking lot. By way of explanation, Road Twitch ADRs a line that's something like, "Look at all this nothing. You ever seen so much nothing?" Yeah, okay, movie? Instead of putting in meaningless footage and then explaining it in voiceover, why not just cut that footage? Finally, Bill decides it's time to introduce himself, which he does by saying nothing but his name. But he doesn't say Bill. He says "Baile," in the weirdest fake southern accent ever. It's like when they ADRed that one line, he thought he was playing Forrest Gump. *Everything's Eventual. That's for my fellow King nerds.

Whenever Chuck was attempting to act caring with the boy, this is all that kept running through my head:

So glad that this episode didn't vanish into the ether. The sound quality was actually perfect, because it matched the terrible sound throughout this movie. The ADR was so bad, I kept thinking I had one of those talking pop-ups open in another window while watching. And I knew the dog noises were being made by a person, because my dog usually goes nuts when a movie makes dog sounds. These didn't even turn his head. He did love the funny hats montage, though. Ugh, so much to say about this movie. Chuck Norris woodenly telling Reno he'll "blow his damn head off"...the judge inexplicably putting a ribbon on Reno without noticing which dog he's put the ribbon on... I think my biggest criticism, though is how Norris is portrayed as a messy guy. Wouldn't the better move in a comedy be to make his house really neat, so that Reno is coming in and messing it all up? Or, if you wanted Norris to be messy, it would be even funnier/cuter if Reno was the neat one and tried to clean up the house. But no, no effort to make a joke at any point. Just: here's a messy guy, and here's a dog.

Question: How do I know TMNT2 is bad before watching it? Answer: Someone uploaded it illegally to youtube two years ago, and no one has bothered to take it down. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbK4G91wfDc

Yeah seriously. If I (or any sane person) were her, the first thing I would say to his proposal was..."Dude, I'm a clone of your mom. If you want me to inherit your property, just put me in your will! I mean, your space-will." Admittedly, his plan wouldn't have worked then. But she realllly shouldn't have just accepted that.

While I agreed with Josh as far as liking the movie...yeah, he couldn't have been further off-base in saying this is empowering to women. This movie's favorite thing is to have a girl make a stupid mistake, and a boy to swoop in and save her by murdering a bunch of people. It happens at least four times. I also felt a little icky when he said, "Jupiter starts out making so many bad choices--she's about to sell her eggs..." What's wrong with egg donation? Assuming your doctors aren't murderous aliens, it's a safe way to make a lot of money and help families that can't have kids. Her actual dumb mistake, and it's incomprehensible, is agreeing to pay her cousin 2/3s of what she makes from the donation. Why...why? He literally didn't do anything to earn it. ...Actually, the cousin's involvement/purpose in the plot was so baffling to me, that I was pretty sure he was one of the killer aliens too. That he had been planted in the family to encourage her to go get a procedure done that would allow them to test her DNA. And they had all been given false memories that he was actually a family member. I was almost certain.