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In High School, my one friend tried to make "Treese's Pieces" a thing. It never caught on. Maybe it could be my rappin' name? PS did anyone listen to Earhump? Was it any good? I couldn't listen b/c there was a conference today

Hey guys I have a rap battle coming up this weekend... first time for me. Could you help me come up with some good/funny rap/rhymes? So far I have: Oh, whom are you trying to kid? You're just a little kid! You're really very immature While I'm wearing Juicy Couture Your mom is a cheap stripper You suck like Jack the Ripper Pretty good stuff so far, but could you guys give me a few more? I think I need about 20 rhymes to finish a rap insult.

I heard he made his first billion by selling "bye-bye-bye" to a certain 90s boy-band producer.

Guyssssss this is what I'm worried about. Don't have a fight on my FB wall! My Aunt just posted right below you guys and now she's going to get all the notifications!!!!!! EDIT: It's just like when Sean's dad walked in on that house party he was throwing!

Can I tell you guys something secret? I like to pretend that Hayes is DJing some sick party on his M-Book PRO and he accidentally played the Popcorn Gallery theme. Initially everyone stops dancing (because it cut off a sick 30-minute mashup of two nice DnB songs), and then one guy stands up. He starts clapping, slowly at first. The two people next to him look at him then look around, feigning a disgusted look because they think everyone else thinks the song is lame. However, slowly a second person starts clapping, then a third and a fourth. Before we know it, Hayes has succumb to the crowd's desire and has the Popcorn Gallery song on repeat, and everyone starts dancing like Jazzy and classy! After about 20 repeats of the Popcorn Gallery song, Hayes starts to do a little bit of a mashup between it and a sick (just TWISTED UP) dubstep song (REAL dubstep not brostep that garbage sucks but the real, British stuff). The party goes late. Hayes' neighbor Mrs. Wegner, the crotchety old German woman who lived through WWII (and doesn't hesitate to tell you), with the spider's veins on her legs and the meanness of eight whole spider eyes in just her two human eyes, knocks on the door. The party falls SILENT. Just you could hear a PIN drop it was so quiet. One guy (a total pussy wuss-bag named Joe McGurl) tries to sneak out the back window but starts to fall out but his pants get stuck! His pants fall off and he's hanging there with his undies out (and his balls are hanging out of the undies!). Hayes and Sean shoot quick looks at each other. They know each other so well they don't need words to have the following conversation: Hayes: "Dude what do I do? I'm going to be in so much trouble!" Sean: "I don't know man. You know I would take the fall for you normally because we're like BROTHERS and I'm LOYAL to my bros, but I'm on thin ice from when my dad discovered our party LAST weekend!" Hayes: "I know and I love you and I wouldn't even let you take the fall even if you could. But what Can I do right now?" Sean pauses for a minute, shifting his gaze from Hayes to a thousand yards behind Hayes, staring down the floor in sudden realization. He slowly moves his eyes back up to Hayes's, focusing in with no mistake: "Play the Popcorn Gallery song. Dance with Mrs. Wegner." Hayes, no longer scared and abruptly resolute: "It's our only hope" So Sean moves over to the DJ table and Hayes moves toward the door. The crowd, just minutes since dancing in a human continuum of flesh and rhythm, now parts fluidly for Hayes to walk to the door. All eyes are on him. They don't even notice Sean putting on the DJ-grade professional cans and warming up Hayes's MBP. Right as Hayes is about to get to the door, Mrs. Wegner knocks for a fourth time. The knocks say more than words can; her anger is stronger than Sean when his Dad told him he couldn't go on the ski trip with his friends. That's how mad her knocks were. Hayes opens up milliseconds before the frail, veiny hand of Mrs. Wegner was about to strike the door for a third consecutive blow. Hayes: "Hi Mrs. Wegner. How are you to..." Mrs. Wegner snaps: "Oh don't sweet-talk me, Hayes. Hayes, How many times do I have to tell you that my cat is old and needs his sleep? He's going to have a heart attack!" Hayes: "Well, there's just one thing you need to do first." Hayes winks just the slightest but at the same time most visible wink right into her eyes. Mrs. Wegner: "Hayes, stop playing games! When your parents died, they left me thi..." Hayes cuts off Mrs. Wegner: "You need to dance with me." Mrs. Wegner: "Hayes, don't be insane! I'll lock you up in an asylum! I haven't danced in over 70 years. No song is good enough anymore!" Hayes: "There's one song, Mrs. Wegner. Just one song." Hayes snaps his finger and Sean picks up on the cue instantly and starts the song. Mrs. Wegner: "Hayes, stop this nonsense and stop this party!" Her hips involuntarily begin to sway with Tim's dulcet tones. The soft and yet geniusly complex Jazzy drum beat starts to bypass her most hardened exoskeleton and her primal musical attractions betray her icy exterior. Hayes extends his hand: "May I?" Mrs. Wegner takes his hand and enters the apartment without a word for the first time since Hayes's parents lived there. Hayes and Mrs. Wegner dance and dance. Sean is smooth enough on the turntable that they don't even notice that he's had the song on repeat and they've been dancing for 10 minutes. They get closer and closer. Hayes: "I think I'd like to kiss you, Mrs. Wegner" Mrs. Wegner: "Please, call me Ludwiga, like my husband used to" Hayes: "I think I'd like to ki..." Ludwiga breaks Hayes's sentence with a soft, tender, big, juicy, floppy kiss right on his lips. Mikey Piggso, who had been watching from the crows, finds an engorged flesh pipe in his pants where his urinal hose used to be. "Ooh yeah, me likey the hott-a-stuff!" After they finish the kiss (Hayes got a little titty feel in there too because he's a BOSS), the crowd erupts in applause. Ludwiga turns to the crows and says loudly: "I haven't had a kiss like that since before WWII!" Hayes: "I bet you her panties are wet NOW!" Sean turns the volume WAY up on the Popcorn Gallery song and everyone starts right back where they left off. At some point, all the girls notice that the super-hot, well dressed, and funny guy they've been attracted to at the party all night named Tim Treese is actually the maker of the best song ever made! Even though they were already all over him, they can no longer control themselves and Tim just LAYS some PIPE all over them! Back in the corner, party-goers Freja and Greggy notice Joe McGurl hanging out the window by his pants with his balls out. They start to laugh, and get a wooden bat and start beating him up, halfway to friggin death! He learns his lesson NOT TO BE A PUSSY ANYMORE.

The pro version is video... You're not supposed to be asking questions unless you're on the pro version. Please rectify or I'll have to report to Agata pee.

Wow guys, I'm surprised my song was so close to explaining it. I really feel like if I can just add TWO more verses I can really nail it.

Do you get OT pay for having to be on at like 10PM on a GD federal holiday?

Agata, do you get to listen to the eps early to write up the summary, or does someone else write up the summary?

What you just did to all of us by taking #300:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's "Friggin", as in "I make so much friggin money" or "all the chicks are friggin all over me".

Can we just talk more about how hard it is to have good taste? Like I went to dinner the other night and one of the guys I was with got red wine with white clam sauce pasta... I mean seriously? Another time we had a formal lunch event, and then a formal dinner event the same day. I was like "OK what time should I go back to my hotel room to change my suit?" and they were like <blank stares>. I'm like "You're not seriously planning on wearing a dark suit to a lunch event, or a light suit to a dinner event, right?" jfc smh

Mikey Pigsso, Things you got right: 1) I do sleep on the table. I do have a thing for Shelby Fero (well, the kind of thing you have for someone you've never met). If I had a lot more confidence than I do and if I ended up meeting her, I might try to ask her to hang out (but I'm pretty awks in person, so it'd probably not be clear to her whether I was asking her on a date or just to hang out as bros. She seems like she can bro-hang with the best of them, though, so I can't go wrong either way! Unless she said "no", which she probs would). 2) I like cats 3) I live alone, so such blatant activities are possible Things you got wrong: 1) I don't wear jeans. I used to own one pair, because I went on this thing in high school and they made us wear jeans, but I gave them to my dad afterwards. I never wear jeans. 2) I don't really curse/swear. It's just something I never picked up. Don't believe me? Go look back on all my posts. You won't see anything. 3) I don't wear turtlenecks. Don't believe me? Ask my mom (watch out though she's in the habit of not returning my calls). Even from a young age I used to hate them and say that I felt like I was choking. 4) While I love cats, I don't currently own one. I live alone, work long hours, and go on reasonably long business trips frequently enough that I don't feel like I can responsibly own a pet at this point 5) The story doesn't really make sense. Is Ludacris a rapper or a snake? Or is he a snake the same way DMX is a dog??? Please expand upon this in the sequel. I actually debated whether to put this in the "wrong" section as it is now, or have a third section about open questions, but I got lazy and didn't want to make a third section. So unfortunately the "wrong"s do outweight the "right"s here, I'm afraid. I'm going to have to give you an "EEHHH! Wrong". But please do try again.

Hey guys I called my mom today and she was at a graduation party for a family friend and said she'd call me back and never did. How do I cope with my crippling rejection??? BTW we talk like 4 times a week and it's probably been AT LEAST two days since we last talked??? Does she hate me now???

Mr DY B-Hole is mroe like it.

Quick divergence from the conversation, where's the part where HayeSean (I think it was mostly Hayes) talks about his Moleskine? Honestly don't even remember if it was RSS or HH. But my friend posted a douchy pic of a Moleskine on FB and it made me think of it.

Wow guys I'm so impressed with the diversity on this sub. Thought everyone would be a nerdo like me, but we have a bunch of guys with beards even, and multiple women! (and of the women, only one of them is paid to be here!!). Just magical. #blessed

As a professional Facebook jokester, I have started to feel conflict about whether to joke on your guys statuses. If there's already a conversation going that involves non-jokesters (like g'mas or Aunties or something), I've been holding back. But sometimes I have really good jokes!

JFC You guys my name isn't pronounced like "trees" Hayes and Sean even said it correctly on the show. It rhymes with "fleece". SMH!!! (Agata Pee, can you ban Greggosaur and Mikey Piggso?)

Some funny nick-names I came up with: Agata: Agata Pee! (like "I gotta pee") Greggy: Greggasaurus Rex Valerie: Venereal Bisease Freja: Freesus Chanson: Hanson Sean: Sean-a-long-a-ding-DONG Hayes: Hazer Narnold: Narnold Palmer You guys know any more? EDIT: I think Sean's should be shorter. Just "Sean 'Long Dong' Clements"

Earwolf sounds mad fun to work at, yo.

Mikey Pigs is on! Don't sound like an idiot. It's hard not to.

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