Episode 85.5 — Minisode 85.5

[Episode 85.5 — Minisode 85.5]

Wasn't "Last Action Hero" a reboot of "The Purple Rose of Cairo?" In defense of that kid, it's got to be hard to reprise a role that Mia Farrow just owned in the original.

[Mystery Science Theater 3000]

Anyone else catch the Total Riff Off on National Geographic? It worked better than I expected it to.

Watched, taped, and re-watched twice. That Death Bat documentary is priceless.

[Idea for New Show]

On the subject of alternative content, I thought that Paul's interview of Jason Woliner on mini ep 50.5, about Jason's failing T-shirt venture, was so funny that I kept forcing people to listen to it with me. The way Woliner slowly fed out worse and worse facts was hilarious, and Paul's reactions (trying to show support despite his dismay) were perfect. It reminded me of some of the great deadpan bits by Bob Elliott & Ray Goulding on radio back in the '60s and '70s. Given the gang's background in improv, and their network of talented sketch artists and comic performers, I imagine they could record some very funny interviews with guests who supposedly have unique problems, opportunities, theories, or projects they want to discuss.

[Episode 83.5 — Minisode 83.5]

Asshattery is hilarous. This podcast has given me more joy over the years than I have any right to ask for, especially considering that I don't pay for it. If Paul et all wanted to kill the show altogether, it would be wll within their rights to and I would totally understand and be okay with it. I'd be sad as fuck, but I'd be okay. I ain't puttin baby in the corner.

Engrave this on something. It's perfect.

[Episode 83.5 — Minisode 83.5]

Hey, on the bright side, longer intervals between episodes could give us a chance to check out the source material before we see the movies. I mean, don't you wish that you had read "Fair Game" before you saw "Cobra," and don't you wish that you had read "Fair Game" reissued as "Cobra" by Sylvester Stallone before you saw "Fair Game?" Now we can read the books, play the video games, check out the comic books, see the prequels, read the DSM, or study up on tornadoes, gorillas, and street fighting, so that we are ready to hate these movies on every possible level. I, for one, applaud this baby for giving us more time to do our homework. If Paul and June's life is going to become more complex and more meaningful, let's compensate by making our lives as one dimensional and meaningless as we can. Who's with me?!?!

[Episode 83 — Winter's Tale]

Hey, I've been unable to contribute to this discussion because I'm still reading. I bought the book on my phone and didn't realize that it was 5,000 pages long until I wandered into a "bricks and mortar" this weekend and saw the heft of the book in the real world. I mean, if Verne Troyer stood on this tome, he could play eye-to-eye scenes with Brigitte Nielsen. Hey, I've got a full time job, and I'm not an insomniac, so I'm going to miss the game this time. Also, the magic realism includes the fact that someone seems to be adding hundreds of pages of text everytime I put the book down. Still glad I'm reading it, but if someone doesn't reunite the thief and that pianist chick by the denouement--I don't care what century it's in--there's going to be hell to pay. Consider that, Helprin, as your goblins keep adding plot when I'm not reading.

[Episode 82.5 — Minisode 82.5]

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? If you had pitched that as a book description to me, and I had no prior knowledge to what the book was, it would be something I'd be interested in reading.

Ha! Elitist Prick, I bought the book because I read your comments earlier in the thread, and I am glad I did. My description was meant to be funny, but it is not too far off. Maybe I would throw in the words ". . . on acid." The book is odd and has a lot of heart, and I will be glad I read it before I saw the movie, especially if the movie is as bad as people are saying.

 

By the way, this book is available on Audible.com. [Yes, I nailed the product placement!]

[Episode 82.5 — Minisode 82.5]

Do NOT look up the actors involved in this movie and you will have an amazing surprise about 30 minutes in.

 

Please let it be Eddie Deezen.

[Episode 82.5 — Minisode 82.5]

Heck, seeing this in theaters isn't a big sacrifice. It's February, what else are you going to watch?

 

I doubled down on this one--I bought the book to read it before I see the movie. So far, it reads like if Hans Christian Andersen wrote the novelization for "Gangs of New York."

[Episode 82 — Double Team]

I didn't get a chance to see this movie, but from what it sounds like I understand that this movie's sole purpose is to be a vehicle for tongue-in-cheek references for Rodman's basketball career.

 

That reminds me, did Rodman ever rebound from this project? He seemed pointless in the movie. And was there any profit?--I'm not talking gross ticket sales; I mean nothing but net.

 

Booyah!

[Episode 81 — Mortal Kombat]

I know that the "Nundercover" movie idea generated a lot of excitement, but hear me out on "Frogger," a movie based on the video game.

 

Nicholas Cage is a divorced father of three who is on his way to a custody hearing when his car skids off the road and lands in a magical swamp, where he is turned into a frog. Now he has 88 minutes to hop across town, get kissed by a teenage vampire to return to his human state, and make it to the hearing if he ever wants to see his kids again. Standing in his way is the most notorious underground street racing strip in the city and a mechanical spider. As Cage-Frog hops along on his journey, he gets help from a duck from another planet, a talking gorilla, a sentient snowman, an American Idol winner, and Sandra Bullock. SPOILER ALERT -- As he's about to reach his destination, Cage-Frog is run over by Al Pacino driving a taxi. What a twist--it is the same 88 minutes! M. Night directs. . . . Five Stars!

[Corrections & Omissions: Jack Frost]

Where are the Clooney snowmen now? Imagine if George Clooney has a kid and then eight years later the kid starts talking smack about how Clooney's career keeps him away from home all the time and then it's around Christmas and Clooney calls up Warner Brothers and says, "I need to buy one of those Clooney snowman puppets you made for Jack Frost because I just thought of an elaborate but very effective way to teach my kid a lesson."

 

To clarify, the omission was: reckless speculation about what happened to the Clooney snowmen.

[Episode 80 — Jack Frost: LIVE!]

Dialogue that I like to imagine was filmed but did not make it into the final cut:

 

SNOWMAN KEATON (talking to self): Did I turn into a snowman because my name is Jack Frost? My god, what would I have become if I were New York Jet's owner, Woody Johnson? . . . or film producer Andrew Vajna? (beat) THAT would have made for an awkward reunion with the wife.

[Episode 80 — Jack Frost: LIVE!]

I remember being surprised when "Jack Frost" came out because, after 1993's "My Life," in which Michael Keaton plays a dad who dies and then comes back as a video tape, I didn't think he would return to the maudlin-parental-death-and-resurrection well so soon.

[Episode 77.5 — Minisode 77.5]

In the "Crossroads" trailer, did you notice that the movie-voice guy did not really commit to recommending the movie? What he said was, "This February, take a chance." That seems like a pretty weak sales pitch. My reaction was, "No. Frankly, I don't like my odds."