GuyYedwab

Matt Gourley and Matt Mira arrived in tuxedos... which is more than Roger Moore could be assed to do. How could there be a James Bond movie with no tuxedo!?

Oh man. Please please please do Snowpiercer. It has all of the visual brilliance and tight action of a Fast and Furious movie (but with trains instead of cars!), but the most bonkers dialogue and plot twists ever! It's got: Clumsily handled exposition! Horrible ADR lines that add more clumsily handled exposition! Eye-catchingly distractingly bad make-up! Plot holes you can drive a train through! Absurd one-liners that will go down in history! Literally mind-blowing performances by Tilda Swinton, Chris Evans, Ed Harris! The biggest fuck-you ending I've seen in a long time! Jason will be angry! June will be upset! Paul is going to love it! Nice.

Oh my god. Four excellent directors (including Tarantino and Rodriguez!). Tim Roth. Witches. Jennifer Beals listing off every name for penis she can think of. Antonio Banderas trying to style a kid's hair and giving up. I don't know what the fuck happened but there wasn't a moment where I wasn't staring at the screen, mouth agape.