Madrigal Marco

Okay so if you guys don't know me I really love puzzles and something about the convenience of this Trump-Timecop coincidence seemed too convenient. Hear. Me. Out. I think JCVD is giving us an invitation to the next Kumite. See my attached solving notes for proof. They work out to say "Bath, United Kingdom. Save the date. JCVD" This can only mean one thing. Bloodsport 3: Blood Bath

I kept looking at that glass house and wondering: Is that the house from Thir13n Ghosts? Is Keanu the 13th ghost? Where is Tony Shalhoub?

I've been in music for a long time, and I love musicals, but something about this movie musical was flames on the side of my face, and I've never really understood why.

HDTGM fans of the greater Boston area, looks like Somerville Theatre is hosting a Nicolas Cage themed burlesque show, followed by a screening of Face/Off in 35mm.

I was very disappointed that the trailer didn't say, "One's tough. One's ruff." A real missed opportunity there.

I was listening to another podcast last spring that recced the Crocodile Dundee episode. Then I saw they had covered Godzilla 1998 and knew I was home.

Alongside the classic question, "would this movie be better with Nick Cage?", in the spirit of June's Con Air insight, it might behoove us to ask, "would this movie be better if it took place on a plane?" Sharknado with the characters battling the sharks midair? Check. A man's pet money breaks out of its carrier and murders passengers in their sleep? Check. Street fighters on a plane? Check check.

How do we fund a movie called Dick/Off about two people switching dicks?

I am face blind. I will take this under advisement to recognise friends and loved ones out on the street, in the future.

I think this movie is set in an alternate universe in which those face wipes are socially accepted thing, because everyone in the movie immediately understands and is onboard with it. Everyone.

Whoever was in charge of the blue magic marker to hand draw the laser cutting line on both of their faces had to make sure they wouldn't fuck it up, or the faces would be different shapes when they switched them. Playing kind of loosey-goosey, aren't they? At least use a stencil.

What if Sharknado had involved face transplants with the sharks??

Hearing that Rutger Hauer was offered the part of Zorin makes sense to me now, because when I first saw Christopher Walken's weird bleached blond hair, I thought he was meant to be a poor man's Rutger Hauer. That being said, he was the one genuinely delightful thing in this movie. I laughed out loud at the end when he was trying to snap the rope that tied his blimp to the Golden Gate by shouting, "MORE POWER!"

Batman Returns - an iconic Christmas movie for an uncertain world.

THAT'S what the Monkey Shines poster reminded me of! Good detective work there, Dodge.

The most upsetting scene in the movie for me is during the welcome home party when Northern Exposure goes into Alan's bedroom, picks up her nightie like she's discovered another woman's clothes, and then smells it. Smells it. Why. WHY. wHy. Why were the syringes of poison the only way of killing Ella at the end of the film? The monkey is tiny and weighs like, five pounds. Just crush the monkey. Were they worried about getting their hands dirty? Anyone else disturbed by the REAL dead bird that the monkey hid, Godfather horse's head style, in the nurse's slipper? I anticipated a stiff stuffed bird like people use to decorate hats or wreaths. I would have preferred that kind of cheap prop. This thing flopped. It was a REAL dead bird. It was creepy as hell.

YES. The first thing out of my mouth when the mom showed up at the welcome home party was "it's the crazy aunt-wife-sister lady from Sleepaway Camp." (was that whole family tree ever figured out?...)

Yes, GOOD. This movie is magnificent. Jesus singing a piano-heavy jazz number while leading his flock on a skateboard alone is worth watching, to say nothing of the over-the-top foley effects, the corny fight scenes, and El Santo romancing a vampire by telling her "you have pinned my heart to the mat", a surefire pick-up line I use to this day. Every inch of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a godamn delight.