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Happy Saint Patrick's Day! Seek and find a story of Johnny McGory.

Scott is wrong. His eulogy was the finest a person could ask for. I'm too sad to listen to the rest of the episode right now, but damn it, Scott Aukerman. You did wonderful work with that intro. My condolences to Scott and all of the Earwolf people.

Here's what we need: A 20-year anniversary sequel to Arnold Schwarzenegger's 1996 film, "Jingle All the Way," but it's a Valentine's Day movie. He and his wife had their first date at a Waffle House, where they ate hash browns. Arnold thinks that he needs to recreate this experience in a fancy restaurant and romantic setting for the couple's 25-year anniversary on Valentine's Day. Most of the fancy restaurants are booked solid (see hijinx involving cameos by character actors like Paul Reubens and Patton Oswalt), and those that are not booked refuse to cook the hash browns at their fancy restaurant. Finally, after much hilarity (let's get Sinbad back for the sequel, vying for the same reservations with a ludicrously beautiful wife, like Lisa Bonet), Arnold and his wife (played again by Rita Wilson) finally realize that the magic of that first date came from the humble surroundings of Waffle House and their own immediate connection and love for each other. The title? "SCATTERED ALL THE WAY" ("Scattered All the Way" is the way you order hash browns at Waffle House if you want everything on and in them) This could be the "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle" of movies about bad diners. Heck, let's forget using Arnold and Sinbad. Let's get people who are kind of like the famous people. Like, Dolph Lundgren and Craig Robinson.

I want Steve Agee to create a character around that creepy guy voice, then to do an episode of the "With Special Guest: Lauren Lapkus" podcast. Something like "Your Neighbor, Mr. Tracy" or something like that. I don't know, i'm not the improv comedian. My only live improv comedy experience was about ten years ago, when the girl i was dating at the time got me really high for the first time in my life and then took me to her friend's basement where he was putting on a live improv comedy show. Thing is, it was terrible, but I was really high, so I kept laughing at the setup instead of the punchline. And also, it was in Western PA, where houses often have a toilet in the basement. Did I mention the show was in this guy's basement? On a makeshift stage he had constructed, complete with a shower curtain for a stage curtain, he had some friends trying to do an improv comedy show. During the show, some girl in the audience got sick and ran over to the toilet and started puking and sobbing, which made me laugh even harder. I was asked to leave because I was "laughing inappropriately" and "ruining the show." "Hey there, Mr. Mailman! Do you have a letter for me?" *uncontrollable laughter from one really loud, deep voice in the audience* "Yes I do, would you like to open it?" *girl vomits, sobs loudly, complete with wet splashing noises in an otherwise silent basement* *wheezing laughter* "Yes, and I would like to read the letter to you!" *coughing, laughing, vomiting* So yeah, Steve can probably come up with a better concept than I can, because that's my only experience with improv comedy.

I watched the extended edition of LotR: FotR in the autumn of 2002 at a small gathering of friends at which Alisha Grauso was present. She spent the entire movie explaining the plot of the book and movie to me, despite my repeated reminders to her that I had both read the book and seen the movie. This is my most vivid memory of Alisha from when we went to college together. Also, is there any way Cracked could put a note in their RSS feed when an article links to a video? That'd be greeeeat.

Steve Agee's creepy-guy Buffalo Bill Cody voice kills me every time -- but it was even funnier when Dan was asking him to do it and Steve either couldn't or wouldn't. I want Steve to go on Ronna and Beverly and do that voice the whole time. I think Ronna would be disgusted, but it would get Beverly's motor going.

Steve Agee could just do his creepy guy voice and read the goddamn phone book, and I would listen. That creepy guy voice is a thing of beauty. In fact, if Steve wanted to start his own podcast where that guy (we'll say he's a cross between Buffalo Bill Cody and Tom Haverford) interviews people with very slightly suggestive questions? I would listen to every episode four times. No joke. Actually, if Steve could just creepy-guy interview Dan for hours on end, until Dan snaps and punches him, that'd be a feature-length movie I'd go to see in the theater.

Was this a very subtle lampooning of gamergaters and gamer culture in general? That's how I interpreted it, and it was really funny when taken in that context.

indeed! What with the paralysis and the blanket, for all we (and our protagonist) know, it may have been ass-sex!

In all fairness, we didn't see what was going on under that blanket!

The writers of this movie did some research! It is indeed possible for individuals with quadriplegia to have sex and orgasm. It can be very difficult to do, but much like baton-twirling and playing the pipe organ, that doesn't make it fun to watch.

I both love and hate Paul for getting me to watch "Monkey Shines." It's like a mashup of "Congo," "Fatal Attraction," and "Misery." The movie was hilarious, but it was also really sad. If the goal of the directors was to make the monkey the most sympathetic character, they succeeded.