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hebmskebm

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Posts posted by hebmskebm

  2. Posted

    The IMDb synopsis reads: A professional thief with $40 million in debt and his family's life on the line must commit one final heist - rob a futuristic airborne casino filled with the world's most dangerous criminals.

    But really Kelsey Grammer tells you everything you need to know in this 15 second clip:

    Also, along with Kelsey and Edge, this movie features Denise Richards, Thomas Jane, and all three of the Lawrence Brothers (AND it's written and directed by Andrew Lawrence). Just some dumb, fun, direct to video action released just last week to help get us through the pandemic. I think this would make a great episode in the "Hurricane Heist" vein.

  4. Posted

    I haven't personally seen it yet, few outside a handful of horror festivals have seen it yet (should be on VOD soon), but those that have all say it's god-tier incredibad. An anthology film, here's how Vulture described the first segment: 

    Quote

    The first story in Verotika revolves around a murderous albino spider (played by actor Scotch Hopkins) who takes the form of a pasty humanoid with eight legs. This is his reality ever since he encountered a sex worker named Dajette (Ashley Wisdom), who has eyes for nipples — nipple eyes that are capable of crying, no less! — and whose tears are apparently quite dangerous. From there, the predatory man-spider ventures from one harshly lit set to the next, vengefully snapping the necks of other sex workers along the way. All of the actors have terrible French accents, which is strange because at one point you can see the words “LOS ANGELES” written above a theater marquee frequented by the aforementioned woman with eyeball nipples.

    It's getting called the horror version of The Room. I'm usually skeptical of such comparisons, but Glenn F'n Danzig might be one of the few humans on Earth operating on the same inscrutable wavelength as Tommy Wiseau, so, yeah, I believe it's possible. These reviews make me want to see this done soooo bad. 

    https://www.vulture.com/2019/06/glenn-danzigs-verotika-review.html

     https://film.avclub.com/holy-hell-glenn-danzig-mightve-just-made-the-room-of-h-1835503250

    • Like 1

  5. Posted

    Watching this now and hoooooly shit this is a HDTGM movie. A vintage Cage lunatic performance, future movie stars all over the place in supporting roles. And David Caruso at the center of it all. The world just wasn't ready for a male movie star looking that ginger.

  6. Posted

    This movie has a lot of the elements I enjoy in a good bad movie:

    1) Lots of actors that went on to the big time before they were famous (Vince Vaughn, Ashley Judd, Paul Rudd, Jeremy Davies)

    2) An appropriately shamelessly sleazy plot. From its Wiki page:

    Quote

    Clay Hewitt (Vince Vaughn) is a drifter who wanders into a small Kansas town and quickly becomes popular. Soon after arriving he punches out the local town drunk, falls in love with local beauty Kitty (Ashley Judd), and is hired on the local feed ranch, owned by the alcoholic widow Delilah (Kate Capshaw). Delilah is notorious for her attraction to younger men, and allows Clay to stay in her estate's carriage house. Her son, Flyboy (Jeremy Davies), has recently returned from a mental hospital and hasn't said a word to anyone other than his pet bull. Clay slowly breaks Flyboy out of his shell, which unleashes a complex turn of events.

    3) If you clicked the above link for the Wikipedia page on this movie you saw it has a section titled BULL CASTRATION CONTROVERSY. Which may be the greatest Wikipedia section title ever created and worthy of inclusion on this podcast by itself.

    Trailer: 

     

  7. Posted

    Full_Body_Massage_VHS_cover.jpg

     

    You know those low budget indie movies that are more or less about a few people hanging out in a single location, shooting the shit, ruminating on life? That's this movie, except with a pair of giant boobs jiggling around in every scene. The entire film revolves around a woman (Mimi Rogers) getting a nude massage while chatting up her massage therapist (Bryan Brown). Literally, that's it. And it's a full length, 93 minute movie.

     

    What makes it interesting to me is the hilarious disparity between what the movie is trying to be and what it actually is, which is late night Skinemax softcore, except with legitimate actors. It's trying so hard to make it seem like the faux-intellectual conversations between the masseuse and the client are some profound statements on various topics (work, parents, artistic fulfillment, etc.) Like everyone involved was in steadfast denial of what kind of movie they were actually making.

     

    I would love to hear Jason and June's, let's say, contrasting views on the artistic merits of this film.

     

    Also if you guys did this film and had all your podcast listeners and live show attendees watch, I'm pretty sure it would triple the number of people who have watched this movie for more than ten minutes, if you get my drift.

     

    The whole thing is available for free on YouTube.

  8. Posted

    This one seems like it was made for HDTGM.

     

    Margot Robbie, Simon Pegg, and Mike Myers (first live action role in a film in eight years!) star in this ultraviolent, tasteless, incomprehensible neo-noir. It was shelved for over a year and released with little fanfare despite it's star power.

     

    Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18RqtFuaNe8

     

    Amazing review of the film which recreates the plot with just quotes from other reviews: https://uproxx.com/m...tes-simon-pegg/

  9. Posted

    Bumping this, because I need to hear Jason & June's reactions to this glorious insanity. Just chug some beers, blast "All These Things That I've Done" and let 'er rip...

     

    Since The Rock & Jon Lovitz have been prominently featured on the past two podcasts, it would make perfect sense to do a film that has both of them.

    • Like 1

  11. Posted

    The only thing you need to know about this movie is that is was written by Bono.

     

    Yes, that Bono. Wrote the script (and scored the music, natch).

     

    It's about a group of crazy people all living in the same run-down hotel with a murder mystery unfolding around them. They find a way to take that concept as make it as meandering and batshit as possible.

     

    Jeremy Davies stars and pretty much whispers almost all of his lines. Milla Jovovich is here too. Oh, and Mel Gibson has a supporting role as a ball-busting FBI agent investigating the murder. He produced the film (along with Bono), and was quoted as saying the movie "was as boring as a dog's ass".

     

    Trailer:

  12. Posted

    2004's She Hate Me, a film about a fired corporate whistleblower who starts a lucrative business impregnating wealthy lesbians the "old fashioned way". It truly is the perfect film for HDTGM. Bonkers premise, lots of big stars in embarrassing roles. It features:

     

    -Bai Ling!!!!

    -Isaiah Whitlock doing his patented "Sheeeeeeeeeeet" line later made famous in The Wire

    -The most batshit crazy CGI sperm/egg conception sequences you will ever see

    -Kerry Washington, Monica Belucci, and the aforementioned Bai Ling are among the many lesbians

    -Woody Harrelson, John Turtorro, and Pro Football Hall of Famer Jim Brown in supporting roles

    -An extended flashback to the Watergate break-in for no clear reason (featuring Chiwetel Ejiofor!)

    -Did I mention the title was derived from the "He Hate Me" name that was famously on the back of one of the players in the short-lived XFL football league?

     

    Here's the trailer. Please, watch this movie!

     

    • Like 2

  13. Posted

    How do you make a romcom that features Luke Wilson, Ben Affleck, Denise Richards, Melissa McCarthy, Matt Damon, Lauren Graham, Jeff Garlin, and the O-Face guy from Office Space and have it go 12 years completely unseen to most of the movie watching public? When it's this fucking bad:

     

    The_Third_Wheel_film.jpg

     

    Trailer:

     

    Synopsis: After more than a year fantasizing about asking out his co-worker, Stanley (Luke Wilson) finally asks Diana Evans (Denise Richards) out on a date. As the two venture out on their first date, Stanley hits a homeless man Phil (Jay Lacopo) with his car, and the events that follow are far from the night of romance that Stanley had planned. Meanwhile, Stan's co-workers, including his friend, Michael (Ben Affleck), are monitoring the date between Stan and Diana, and they are betting on how far Stan will get with the beautiful Diana.

     

    It's available to stream on Netflix if you feel inclined to subject yourself to this weird, weird, brand of comedy.

  16. Posted

    I registered on this site because the world needs you guys to cover this film. As the typical Second Opinion Amazon reviewer is wont to say, THIS MOVIE HAS EVERYTHING!

     

    -BAI LING!!!!!!!!

    -ISAIAH WHITLOCK DOING HIS TRADEMARK "SHEEEEEEEEEEET" LINE MADE FAMOUS IN THE WIRE

    -THE GREATEST COMPUTER ANIMATED SPERM/EGG CONCEPTION SEQUENCES EVER CREATED. MAN INVENTED COMPUTERS FOR THESE SCENES TO ONE DAY BE MADE ON THEM

    -A YOUNG KERRY WASHINGTON HAVING LESBIAN AND THREE-WAY SEX

    -LOTS AND LOTS OF OTHER SEX

    -WOODY HARRELSON AND ELLEN BARKIN PLAYING ENRON-ESQUE CORPORATE DICKBAGS

    -A TITLE THAT WAS BASED ON AN XFL FOOTBALL PLAYER'S NICKNAME ON THE BACK OF HIS JERSEY

    -THE WATERGATE BREAK-IN

    -JIM MOTHERFUCKING BROWN

    -SPIKE LEE'S BITING SOCIAL COMMENTARY ON WHITE-COLLAR CRIME AND TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE (or maybe just him indulging a fetish for an alpha male being able to momentarily turn lesbians straight)

     

    IMDB Synopsis: Harvard-educated biotech executive John Henry "Jack" Armstrong gets fired when he informs on his bosses, launching an investigation into their business dealings by the Securities & Exchange Commission. Branded a whistle-blower and therefore unemployable, Jack desperately needs to make a living. When his former girlfriend Fatima, a high powered businesswoman--and now a lesbian--offers him cash to impregnate her and her new girlfriend Alex, Jack is persuaded by the chance to make easy money. Word spreads and soon Jack is in the baby-making business at $10,000 a try. Lesbians with a desire for motherhood and the cash to spare are lining up to seek his services. But, between the attempts by his former employers to frame him for security fraud and his dubious fathering activities, Jack finds his life, all at once, becoming very complicated.

     

    Trailer:

     

    I cannot stress enough how tailor-made this movie is for the show. You will not be disappointed.

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