ThibaultTurcas
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Posts posted by ThibaultTurcas
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On 4/25/2017 at 5:19 AM, SlidePocket said:Let's give this a bump here!
Yes sir!
I think HALF PAST DEAD has a way better premise (New Alcatraz + Ja Rule being thrown left and right), but EXIT WOUNDS is way more fun and entertaining.
This is part of the Andrzej Bartkowiak rappers/cops/fights trilogy with the equally fun CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE and the horrible ROMEO MUST DIE.
It has the same recurring actors, the same style, (almost) the same songs.
But EXIT WOUNDS takes the cake because of Seagal. The way he fights, speaks, smiles. Let's throw in wire work (which makes him even less believable) and it's gold.
It made me think so much of DEN OF THIEVES - plots and characters keep coming and coming even one hour into the movie. The cast is incredible (like Eva Mendes completely dubbed). The characters make no sense (the anger issue is never really explained but allows Seagal to DESTROY a table). And my favorite weird moment: a character recognizing a talk show on Tv and yelling the host name for no reason ("Henrrrrryyyyyyy!" like he's encouraging him OVER THE TV).
And guys, it has the CRAZIEST end credits of all times - an improv session with Tom Arnold and Anthony Anderson that is beyond comprehension - so offensive, so racist, with THE CREW actually LAUGHING OUT LOUD (fun fact : HALF PAST DEAD also has a non-sense credit scene with Mo'Nique and CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE has Arnold and Anderson doing it again).
PS: Please someone explain why there's a 5 minute sequence where DMX and Anthony Anderson buy a car.
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On 3/25/2016 at 2:59 AM, Lando said:Oof, this movie definitely needs to be done. If you asked Renny Harlin to rewrite Hackers, but make it cool, throw in a little Pierce Brosnan James Bond and give it Matrix special effects and an M. Night Shyamalan twist ending Swordfish is what he would come up with. I can't remember what movie it was, but someone here described a movie as "everyone is an asshole" and I think that applies to this movie 100%. Everyone in this movie is an asshole and Travolta is king asshole.
The greatest and most spot-on description of the film.
So much CGI and twists it makes heads spin. Hope they spend an hour just discussing the heist and the little balls. -
I've seen this one mentioned here and there, but no official topic. Clocking at 2hrs, it might be a tough watch, this was a delightful re-discovery ripe for HDTGM.
First, INSANE cast: Colin Farrell in his 'being as bland as possible' mode (ie. The Recruit), Sam Jackson recruiting a team Nick Fury-style, LL Cool J without a parrot, Michelle Rodriguez being constantly reminded that she is a girl who does not belong in a SWAT team (it's a David Ayer script), Josh Charles as a badass (?), and Jeremy Renner (YEP).
It's like two episodes of the tv show cobbled together: the pilot with the team being recruited, and a shitty episode around THE WORST criminal in the world.
The first part is actually fun, with the team cracking jokes at the worst possible times. The second part is just so lame, with Olivier Martinez being arrested for something completely stupid, then the police catching up to the fact that he's a big-time gangster (who came to L.A. just to kill a guy who lied to him - like he's being followed by the FBI and Interpol but he risks everything just to make a point?), then the worst escape plan ever (he gets into a car and instead of driving it like a maniac he just...stops), AND FINALLY the actual plot (a criminal offering millions for his escape).It's crazy how long it takes for the plot to get started, and then it becomes a series of terrible decisions (the bad guys decide to plant a bomb in the sewers while escaping - which takes them SO FUCKING LONG the SWAT actually catches up on them) and a climax from FAST & FURIOUS 6.
Colin Farrell is supposed to be THE MAN. He sees everything, he gets everything, nothing can stop him - even the final fight is BARELY a fight cause he's so badass. The team is pretty much useless without him.
But what really drove me to create a topic are the little things. Like the dog being thrown out in MR. NANNY, this has BONKERS moments that I rewound five times just to see if I hadn't dreamt them. Be aware this happens in the background or during a quick shot:
- One of the cops actually PUTS HIS FINGER IN THE ASS OF A CRIMINAL while arresting him - it's an insert and the team LAUGHS like it's HILARIOUS
- During a garden party, a kid with a water gun hoses down Colin Farrell, and it DOES NOT GO WELL - Colin looks like he's about to MURDER him during the shot, and actually moves him away as to say "Stop right now or I'll kill you" with a smile
- Just before an attack, the SWAT team warns the neighbors. One of them asks a woman walking her dog to hurry up. But the dog gets in front of her. The poor extra does not see that and actually FALLS ON THE GROUND. Like really hard on her knees. And they chose this shot for all eternity!
I hope I'm not the only one rediscovering the insanity of it all. -
It is my duty to up this.
Like someone said above, it's not insane like Double Team. It's 100 times that.
The movie DOES. NOT. STOP. Tsui Hark is on 'I'm gonna fuck things up' mode and experiments in every department. The sound is 90% bad ADR (Jean Claude has 3 or 4 different voice intonations within the movie), the pacing never lets down, the action set-pieces are so enjoyable (JCVD sliding on a ship like it's snow) and he does POV shots David Fincher-style every two seconds (the ones going INSIDE the knock-off sneakers are amazing).
Having stumbled on a couple interviews from the era, Tsui was apparently making a 'revenge' movie because he loathed JCVD and his experience on DOUBLE TEAM. And that explains so much. Like why it takes place in Hong Kong. Why JCVD is pretty much a moron in the film. Why even Rob Schneider is CIA and not him. He's reduced to a stupid-ass knock-off foreigner who has no place at all in the film and is treated like shit by everybody. Tsui is clearly making the movie his own and you can see a LOT of his experiments paying off in his next film, the amazing TIME AND TIDE.
And if you wanna make GIFs, this is the movie for you. JCVD was a mess and on coke during the whole thing and makes so many weird faces it's bonkers. PLEASE DO THIS!
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Yes, so glad. Thanks HDTGM for making my bad Netflix choices matter.
Why on Earth did they ADR every time the year is mentioned (to adjust the storyline from 2004 to 2006).
Reminds me of the terrible "Pizza Hut / Taco Bell" thing in DEMOLITION MAN.
And as mentioned before, simply makes no sense.
The last twist about the car accident is absolutely mind-boggling.
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Holy hell.
Today marks the official trailer debut for this movie shot... 7 YEARS AGO!
Yep, 2010. Back when Josh Lucas was already completely irrelevant (was he ever not? #Stealth).
This simple fact should guarantee a place in HDTGM.
But also, IT LOOKS INSANE.
I feel an 88 MINUTES meets SAFE HAVEN vibe and Terence Howard always makes me laugh (him and Jeffrey Wright are always trying so hard to get an Oscar nomination no matter what the movie or the part).
The Playlist had this to add:
You can usually smell a troubled production coming from a mile away, and in the case of “Ghost Of New Orleans” (formerly known as “Little Murder“) that stench is pretty powerful. It was shot all the way back in 2010, and at the time, the folks behind the movie were already being accused of stiffing people on their bills. Now, seven years later, it’s coming to theatres via SP Distribution (who?) in association with financial company Tax Credit Finance LLC, which I can only surmise was involved in the movie, and wound up owning part of it along the way. And as you might guess, the finished movie hardly looks like a masterpiece.And really, that’s a shame considering the cast is pretty good — Josh Lucas, Terrence Howard, Lake Bell, Cary Elwes, Deborah Ann Woll — but they’re stuck in a pretty flimsy little thriller directed by Predrag Antonijevic (us neither).
Here’s the synopsis:
A disgraced detective (Josh Lucas) has a supernatural encounter which leads him to investigate the murder of a beautiful cellist (Lake Bell) that unlocks the truth behind her mysterious death.
“Ghost Of New Orleans” opens in theaters, VOD, and digital HD on February 17th.
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Who's with me?!?
Yes yes yes yes. One of my favorites. So entertaining and silly. AND THAT DOLL!!!
So dumb like most sci fi movies from these guys (see: Demolition Man, Judge Dredd, TimeCop).
The reason behind the cloning of Arnie is so convoluted for nothing...
And the scenes between the two Arnies are hilarious.
Got one of the best one-liner in movie history ("Go f--- yourself" and later "I didn't mean literally").
Michael Rapaport plays the exact same character he did in "Deep Blue Sea".
And it even has a classic HDTGM trope: "what the hell is this Academy-Award Winner doing here?" (Robert Duvall)
The final shootout is also crazy in editing and jumps around so much - you believe it'll reveal that there are 2 Arnies doing all the shooting but actually no, it's just badly edited.
Please guys, I don't give a damn about Airborne or Surf Ninjas, I need another Arnie episode now!!
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Good bump Abe!
I have to agree with Cobretti though, to me it's just an infuriating piece of garbage that is so annoying to watch.
I live in Europe and I gotta say, people sometimes are seriously saying they like this movie.
Not in a HDTGM Guilty Pleasure way. In a 'it's John Carpenter so it's good' way. Which makes me furious.
The new UK Label INDICATOR is even doing a Blu-ray Collector's Edition of the movie along with VAMPIRES, which is so much more fun that this shitty movie and ESPACE FROM L.A.
As you guys said, so much to talk about (the flashbacks within flashbacks - the awful CGI - the cast). I'll add that the music is absolute shit. The soundtrack sounds just like an Uwe Boll film. There are many 'Inside The Plague POV Shots' - so long and boring. And that 'I was flying in my hot-air balloon on Mars' throwaway is bonkers.
People have been complaining about handheld action since Bourne but this is the movie that tells you that shooting action on a tripod with basic over-the-shoulders shots can be just as horrendous. The action scenes are just so boring, so badly choreographed, it seriously makes me furious.
God damn you John.
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But Aziz 100% hates Jason from Coast to Coast though. I know it cuz June told me... So don't tell anybody, Ok?
Wait, WHAT???
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Black Mirror's White Christmas.Is what I think you meant to say.
No no, I really meant the level of confusion of this bonkers movie (which was a great episode).
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Yes, kudos to Paul for fighting and keeping some of the shows alive for free.
I'm personally not affected by any of this as I've saved them all but as Furb said, when you first get into podcasts you go back to get the vibe of the show... And it helps if it's not all Gooby and Xanadu and unwatchable films but renown big bad movies.
However, I must say as a fan since episode 1, hearing that exclusive episodes or the Smurfs were gonna be behind the Paywall... I understand completely and Paul explained it well, but it broke my heart a little.
Yes, it's only 2 bucks blablabla but it still sucks. It's not really rewarding long-time listeners.
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I gotta up that.
And wanna thank SlidePocket who, while spoiling what happens in the first ten minutes, gave me the force to see it in the theaters with another fan of the podcast. We had to see it to believe it.
And I can already picture it. June saying she cried. Jason yelling "it all adds up". And Paul trying to make sense of the rules.
I will not go into spoil territory because there is WAY TOO MUCH TO SAY.
It feels like the script was either too "reality based" (the con) or too "Christmast-ey" (the magic) and they decided to mash everything together. And it simply does not work. At all.
It might be a tough watch because it takes itself so seriously (Will Smith is so committed it becomes embarrassing - he cries non-stop), but as soon as you try to uncover the layers of the twists and what doesn't add up, it makes for a wonderful time.
The podcast would be along the lines of Timothy Green, but I feel the movie breaks so much of its own universe to tell its story that it's as confusing as Winter's Tale.
Please please please make this movie on the podcast as soon as it comes out on iTunes.
It will make for a great episode and I cannot wait to hear June saying she LOVED it.
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Happy new year guys !
My vote this year goes for SKIPTRACE.
It’s like Rush Hour with 10 times more dick punches.
Recently put on Netflix, it’s not only the weird-ass association of Jackie Chan and Johnny Knoxville, but also from the insane mind of Renny Harlin. Yes, “sharks are smarts” Renny Harlin.
With almost half the movie done in bad ADR (like REALLY bad, even for a Jackie film) and 20% of the dialogues occurring when we don’t see the characters (shots of their backs or random buildings), it’s a buddy action comedy road trip with a cop and a wise guy tracking down a criminal. Sounds familiar?
It also has a lot of crazy stuff: flashbacks and flashfowards all around, a bad guy so bad he’s on the phone the whole movie, horse pooping in the middle of a scene, the longest green-screen zip-line in movie history, Jackie Chan dreaming of owning an alpaca, and of course a mud fight.
And SO. MANY. DICK. PUNCHES. (even in the end titles bloopers)
It’s pretty much all of the "Jackie Chan American Movies" (from Rush Hour to Shanghai Noon to Tuxedo to Around the World in 80 Days) but with Renny Harlin giving directions.
Case in point: this BONKERS scene…
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Yes please! As mentioned before, the Hyde make-up is insanely good, and that's about it. It's surely a downer like The Last Airbender or Battlefield Earth in terms of how boring it is. But Jason would make a meal out of this plot!
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I second that bump! It's actually a guilty pleasure for me as I was - like all 90s kids (?) - obsessed with Brendan Fraser after The Mummy. So George of the Jungle and MonkeyBone were a must-see!
It actually has some great ideas (Chris Kattan is amazing) and apparently some GREAT behind the scenes gossip.
Rose McGowan had this to say on her Instagram:
The movie would've been incredible (at least the underworld part) if the men at 20th Century Fox (the suits) hadn't fired the director, a true artist, Henry Selick 1/2 the way through filming- a profoundly stupid move. Selick went on to direct Coraline and had already made the classic, James and the Giant Peach, both tremendous pieces of work. The set design, costumes, prosthetics, actors, all at master level, at least in the underworld part of the film. What #FoxStudios turned this film into because of their fear and lack of artistic thinking was a travesty. They truly robbed us, the audience, of a possible classic. Also-fun fact alert-Monkeybone was based on a graphic novel called Dark Town. The weenies at Fox changed the name to 'Downtown' because they were scared African Americans would be upset by a psychedelic underground acid trip of a world with a CAT for a waitress named Dark Town. Hmmm... I wonder how many African American women directors they've hired in ratio to white male directors? That is what is what Fox should have been/should be concerned with.-
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It's expiring on Netflix DECEMBER 1st so I had to check it out.
And pause it after 10 minutes so I can strongly support the other comments: this movie is absolutely amazing. In 10 minutes, we have Keanu doing taichi to relax, Takeshi Kitano responding in Japanese to an English conversation, Keanu trying to go incognito by putting on a wig and make-up (Cloud Atlas style), the worst ADR punchline ("Next time try to knock baldie" to a bald henchman Keanu just killed) and an absolutely incomprehensible opening title card that tries to explain the nonsense that will follow (I read it 3 times and still cannot comprehend what they were trying to say).
It's just SO bad and SO hilarious, I cannot believe it hasn't a HUGE following like Howard the Duck already....
PS: It also has a Paul Scheer look-a-like! What else?
Van Helsing (2004)
in Bad Movie Recommendations
Posted
Omg, never been more excited for an episode!
The ACTION JACKSON ep from the same night with Seth Rogen is one of my top 5 eps.
And always a good excuse to watch this insanity again!