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There is absolutely nothing else to say about this.

Even though they're kind of a punchline in themselves, I have to admit I have a soft spot for the Resident Evil series. They don't put the most thought into story, plot, or generally making sense, but they're usually a hell of a good time (and much easier to swallow if you think of each movie as an episode in an ongoing serial, and not a standalone product). That was until I saw the fifth movie, Retribution, in the theater this fall. Somehow, in a series that has made more and more money with each sequel, this movie manages to look like it had a production budget of about $50. The plot is off-the-wall bonkers: this is a movie where things happen just because, with nary an earned plot development in sight. During scenes in the middle of the movie, I wondered why everything was taking so long; by the time the credits rolled, I wondered why the movie had only felt 20 minutes long. Such was the magic of this movie's shittiness. A rich and pulsing vein of WTF.