Episode 39 - A Sister Scorned

[JulyDiaz 2797]

A "dolphin" personality type. Betrayal. Anger. Lunch at a buddhist temple. This week's caller has it all.

[The Shrekronomicon 397]

I cant deal with this story. It hurts.

[H.P.Hovercraft 119]

Ooof, I'm only 30 minutes into this episode (the dick sucking quote) and I think that the ex-wife/sister-in-law was wise to slam down the self destruct button on that marriage. This caller is a real trip though!

[Kickpuncher 5012]

Ooof, I'm only 30 minutes into this episode

 

Same here, and all I can think about is how the caller so clearly feels like she, rather than her brother, is the aggrieved party in this situation.

[The Shrekronomicon 397]

Maybe youve never had a friend like that. Do you know what it's like to have your ability to trust anyone, ANYONE AT ALL, shattered because of a betrayal so profound? Maybe you didnt even realize how much you had come to depend on this person but to have it all just go away in the blink of an eye...Can you even imagine? It ruins you.

[H.P.Hovercraft 119]

Maybe youve never had a friend like that. Do you know what it's like to have your ability to trust anyone, ANYONE AT ALL, shattered because of a betrayal so profound? Maybe you didnt even realize how much you had come to depend on this person but to have it all just go away in the blink of an eye...Can you even imagine? It ruins you.

I get that, but to have so little self awareness as this woman does is pretty funny to an observer. She goes on at length to say how insanely close she and her brother are (to the point people thought they were dating(!)) but can't understand why his wife wouldn't open up to her about their relationship? She loved this woman so much but could not see that she was in a failing marriage for 2 decades? Honestly, I feel bad for the ex because she was so tangled up in her husband's life it was like she had no outside perspective, just him and his crazy sister who was admittedly "worship[ful]" and "obsessed" with her and wanted to spend all waking hours with her. Could you imagine spending EVERY weekend with your spouse's family? WHO YOU ALSO WORKED WITH??

Also, the fact that the brother seems pretty resigned to this makes me think that she wasn't the only one stepping out on their marriage. The sister is tellingly vague about her brother's shortcomings, just "he has his own issues", issues that she states the ex dealt with for many years. I hope she seeks therapy to deal with her anger and sadness and also maybe look into working on her boundary issues!

[The Shrekronomicon 397]

Therapy can help a lot, I'm in it as im sure many reading this are or have been at some point. You got a lot more out of that episode than I did. Youre right, it does show a lack of self awareness, but also hilights how little self awareness I had in the situation that I felt parallelled that of the caller. Its the life of a person closed off to most of the world and definetly troubled when it comes to forming and maintaining healthy relationships. Something I am also guilty of, as well as having boundry issues. Thanks for your post, it gave me a different perspective on the episode I wouldnt have considered otherwise.

 

Also, great avatar, I've read most of lovecraft's stories. I think his real life racism and xenophobia gave him the ability to write scarier books. Sometimes a character flaw can be beneficial to ones art.

[leroy4president 0]

I'm super late on this as I have just discovered this podcast, but I just had to join the forums and say something. This woman needs a friggin hobby. By her own admission her life is so perfect she clearly needs something to be mad about, and this is it. Now I totally understand feeling betrayed. That's valid. But it sounds to me as if she's not even trying to empathize with her so called sister, whom she supposedly loved. All she's focused on is dick.

 

She starts off this call by saying how her brother is the type of person who's so fragile he probably wouldn't be able to handle the loss of his marriage. (Which clearly she was wrong about.) Ok. If you felt that way...don't you think his wife felt that way too? Have you considered that (no matter how wrong it may be) she didn't want to hurt her allegedly super fragle husband of 20+ years by asking for a divorce, so she made the wrong decision to simply try and find happiness somewhere else while remaining with her husband? It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened. And if the husband actually suffered from something like clinical depression that would make it even harder to just leave him.

 

The fact that the brother seems to be getting along just fine, even having to tell her to cool it, tells me he has probably come to terms with his role in the demise of the marriage and and while he's probably still hurt is in a place of understanding. Or at least is trying to be mature about the situation, a trait the caller does not possess. You may know your brother very well, you may love your brother as much as a sister could love a brother and y'all might be tighter than bark on a tree. But at the end of the day: YOU AIN'T THE ONE FUCKIN HIM. You ain't the one washing his drawers, you ain't the one puttin the milk back in the fridge for the umpteenth time and you ain't the one dealing with his shit on a daily basis. Maybe he was tired of dealing with her shit and was glad to be rid of her! (Did she really do all those tasks? IDK...these are just examples, folks. Please don't go off on a gender role tangent.) Point is: she doesn't know the ins and outs of their relationship like she thinks she does. She's an outsider lookin in, plain and simple. And it's very easy to judge from the outside. She needs to grow up and as the kids say "Let it go, Elsa".