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bella_008

Fifty Shades Darker (2017)

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Hi guys, I know we have a Fifty Shades of Grey thread but having now seen this monstrosity I felt like it needed its own. (also just for reference I got to go to the Bangkok premier that's the only reason I watched this on opening day.)

 

If you thought the first movie was bad you are going to be blown away by the terribleness that is the sequel. Sam Taylor-Johnson must have been the only thing keeping the first film from going off the rails there's literally no pacing in this or any kind of logical story arc.

 

Here are some of the batshit things about this movie (spoilers obviously)

 

- Terrible childhood troupe flashback/dream sequences

 

-Even with deleting some of the creepier book subplots Christian still hitting all of the emotionally abusive boyfriend boxes.

 

- Apple product placement

 

- Long music montages

 

- Speaking of music, the sexy slow RnB beats of the first film are replaced but upbeat RnB songs that don't remotely match three-quarters of the film.

 

- Christian immediately hating and treating her boss like an arse, of course, his proven right because he just sensed the guy was bad he's not actually a controlling jealous dick, actual line said immediately after meeting the boss, when asked why he was so rude to her boss keep in mind there not back together yet “He wants what’s mine.”

 

- The dialogue you could probably do this film word for word without ever seeing it before it's so predictable

 

- Kim Basinger's plastic surgery

 

- The lead actors still having zero sexual or romantic chemistry

 

- Dakota Johnson literally carrying this whole fucking film on her back while Jamie Dornan does his best impression of a mannequin and not the fun Mannequin film version.

 

Having said all of that I feel like they'd have a great time making fun of this film and I look forward to Jason's opinions on all the sex scenes and boy were there a lot of them.

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I feel bad for the dude, because this Christian character is just about the worst written role ever. I hope it doesn't kill his career too hard.

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I feel bad for the dude, because this Christian character is just about the worst written role ever. I hope it doesn't kill his career too hard.

 

The character is terribly written but he's also just not good in it, I mean Anna is terribly written as well but I feel like Dakota shines through, Charlie Hunham was originally supposed to play the character and I do wonder what he's performance would have been like.

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I'm watching it right now and i think it's just a boring movie nothing is funny about it it's just a really long boring movie and i still have an hour left to watch

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