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Cockney Mackem

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About Cockney Mackem

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    Ninja Cum Assassin
  1. Cockney Mackem

    Zandalee (1991)

    Aaron Neville???
  2. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 218 - Deadfall (w/ Chelsea Peretti)

    This may not be either a correction or an omission but I found a nice snippet in an interview with Michael Biehn about the film. He said he only got the part because Val Kilmer pulled out, and clearly Kilmer was wise to pull out. He summarised the film by saying "that's the Nicolas Cage you get when you don't ask him to pull it back a little bit."
  3. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 217 - Jaws 3-D

    Damn, only 7 years too late!
  4. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 217 - Jaws 3-D

    Hopefully the gang gets round to doing Jaws The Revenge as well, because that takes bad film-making to an unprecedented, operatic level of shit. The shark is after the Brodies. How does a shark know the Brody brother works for Amity Police, and that he's on duty that night and will come to clear the trap at the harbour? How does the shark know that the other Brody brother works in the Caribbean, and that the Mum is going to fly down there? The shark is *waiting for her* when she gets there - does it have access to airline passenger manifests? Can it use a computer? I have a theory that in Jaws The Revenge the shark is in some kind of aquatic FBI and the Brody family are the antagonists. The first shark was unethically hunted by the Chief and his accomplice with the fishing boat. The second was investigating that murder and was electrocuted in a murderous cover up with the help of a complicit Amity community. In Jaws 3, another shark is investigating this seagoing crime family, and stumbles on the rampant animal cruelty and exploitation at Sea World, and not only pays with her life trying to expose it but her child dies at well. Jaws The Revenge is in fact a downbeat policier following a relentless shark FBI agent who won't rest until the Brodies pay for their crimes. He's crossing all sorts of lines because THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL. His captain at the precinct says "That's it Jaws, you're too emotionally involved, I'm taking you off the case." "God dammit Cap, not when I'm this close!" "OK Jaws, you've got 24 hours, and if you're wrong it's your dorsal fin in the fire..." In the end there is no justice for the sharks because the humans are too powerful and ruthless. Forget it Jaws, it's Chinatown.
  5. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 217 - Jaws 3-D

    I like how Roy Scheider is reputed to have made Blue Thunder just to make sure he wasn't available for Jaws 3
  6. Cockney Mackem

    Army of One (2016)

    I feel the poster of this film speaks for itself... Sorry if it's already been suggested, I did search and couldn't find a thread
  7. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 192.5 - Minisode 192.5

    Can't do the linkies like Cameron H but for *reasons* I'm listening exclusively to songs by people born in Scotland at the moment so: AC/DC, Hell's Bells (Angus Young, Glasgow) Twin Atlantic, Heart and Soul (All of Them, Glasgow) Garbage, Only Happy When It Rains (Shirley Manson, Edinburgh) Biffy Clyro, Wolves of Winter (Simon Neil, Kilmarnock) Big Country, Fields of Fire (the incomparable Stuart Adamson, Dunfermline) Waterboys, Fisherman's Blues (Mike Scott, Edinburgh) Chvrches, Leave A Trace (Lauren Mayberry, Glasgow) Mogwai, Remurdered (Stuart Braithwaite, South Lanarkshire) Idlewild, You Held The World In Your Arms (Roddy Woomble, Irvine) Jesus and Mary Chain, April Skies (Jim Reid, East Kilbride)
  8. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 192 - Striptease: LIVE!

    Hiaasen is not on Elmore Leonard's level for sure, but who is? But in fairness, Elmore Leonard suffered from a lot of misfiring films of his books by people who couldn't get the tone right. I think Hiaasen deserves the benefit of the doubt.
  9. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 192 - Striptease: LIVE!

    And yet, believe it or not, the novel it's based on is good
  10. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 191.5 - Minisode 191.5

    Ooof
  11. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 191.5 - Minisode 191.5

    Believe it or not, the novel on which this is based provides a much better portrayal of Demi Moore's character and it would be interesting to see if June's (100% legit) complaints about the film are the same for the book. The book isn't as leering obvs, and the characters are more 3D, and with Carl Hiaasen he manages to make you believe that yes, mad shit like this really does happen in Florida.
  12. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 181.5 - Minisode 181.5

    IMHO Glam killed Glam, by ripping a hole in its Spandex tights and disappearing up its own arsehole
  13. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 181 - Freejack: LIVE!

    For those of you wondering why Jagger didn't do any more films despite all the quality he demonstrates in Freejack, it may have been his business commitments such as the retail empire he built with fellow Rolling Stone Keith Richard https://youtu.be/VTCSzP6dmmo
  14. I don't know if he's a werewolf, but his hair is perfect
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