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Kilgore Lake Trout

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About Kilgore Lake Trout

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  1. I ate a sloth once. It took me forever! Sure did leave me sluggish, and gave me diarrhea for months.
  2. Tropical vacations make me hot and bothered, not sexually, more contextually.
  3. The plan is simple Billy, you distract Shrek, I grab‘em right by the Puss’n’boots.
  4. Chocolate cookies, strawberry jam, in your butt’s the master plan.
  5. Hip hip hooray, doctors are on their way. Whole set of Micro-Machines in my rectum, where did they I was gonna collect’em?
  6. Cut the muzak, sleep with Joan Cusack. “What about Joan” is makin’ me groan.
  7. I’ve got the wand now! No, no, no more hoe’s. Only the finest escorts for this wiz wiz.
  8. Is that gentle predator someone you know from high school? That. did. not. go. well...
  9. Gift delivered, head back south. Bird droppings in your mouth.
  10. Training with samurai sword is the only way to prevent osteosamuraithritis.
  11. Open cuts, mixed breed mutts, cross contamination. Wish I wasn’t such a klutz, prone to masturbation.
  12. Fifty dollars for signed prints? How big of celebrities do you think you are?! Now, shut up and take my money...
  13. Sharting is akin to godliness, too bad it leads to loneliness.
  14. Eat right, Sleep right, keep that butthole clenched tight.
  15. Hemorrhoids and herpes. Wish you were here?
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