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hebmskebm

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About hebmskebm

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  1. hebmskebm

    Kiss of Death (1995)

    Watching this now and hoooooly shit this is a HDTGM movie. A vintage Cage lunatic performance, future movie stars all over the place in supporting roles. And David Caruso at the center of it all. The world just wasn't ready for a male movie star looking that ginger.
  2. hebmskebm

    The Locusts (1997)

    This movie has a lot of the elements I enjoy in a good bad movie: 1) Lots of actors that went on to the big time before they were famous (Vince Vaughn, Ashley Judd, Paul Rudd, Jeremy Davies) 2) An appropriately shamelessly sleazy plot. From its Wiki page: 3) If you clicked the above link for the Wikipedia page on this movie you saw it has a section titled BULL CASTRATION CONTROVERSY. Which may be the greatest Wikipedia section title ever created and worthy of inclusion on this podcast by itself. Trailer:
  3. You know those low budget indie movies that are more or less about a few people hanging out in a single location, shooting the shit, ruminating on life? That's this movie, except with a pair of giant boobs jiggling around in every scene. The entire film revolves around a woman (Mimi Rogers) getting a nude massage while chatting up her massage therapist (Bryan Brown). Literally, that's it. And it's a full length, 93 minute movie. What makes it interesting to me is the hilarious disparity between what the movie is trying to be and what it actually is, which is late night Skinemax softcore, except with legitimate actors. It's trying so hard to make it seem like the faux-intellectual conversations between the masseuse and the client are some profound statements on various topics (work, parents, artistic fulfillment, etc.) Like everyone involved was in steadfast denial of what kind of movie they were actually making. I would love to hear Jason and June's, let's say, contrasting views on the artistic merits of this film. Also if you guys did this film and had all your podcast listeners and live show attendees watch, I'm pretty sure it would triple the number of people who have watched this movie for more than ten minutes, if you get my drift. The whole thing is available for free on YouTube.
  4. hebmskebm

    Terminal (2018)

    This one seems like it was made for HDTGM. Margot Robbie, Simon Pegg, and Mike Myers (first live action role in a film in eight years!) star in this ultraviolent, tasteless, incomprehensible neo-noir. It was shelved for over a year and released with little fanfare despite it's star power. Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18RqtFuaNe8 Amazing review of the film which recreates the plot with just quotes from other reviews: https://uproxx.com/m...tes-simon-pegg/
  5. hebmskebm

    Southland Tales (2006)

    Bumping this, because I need to hear Jason & June's reactions to this glorious insanity. Just chug some beers, blast "All These Things That I've Done" and let 'er rip... Since The Rock & Jon Lovitz have been prominently featured on the past two podcasts, it would make perfect sense to do a film that has both of them.
  6. hebmskebm

    The Third Wheel (2002)

    Bumping this. It's just hilarious to me how many stars were in this terrible, mostly unseen movie.
  7. The only thing you need to know about this movie is that is was written by Bono. Yes, that Bono. Wrote the script (and scored the music, natch). It's about a group of crazy people all living in the same run-down hotel with a murder mystery unfolding around them. They find a way to take that concept as make it as meandering and batshit as possible. Jeremy Davies stars and pretty much whispers almost all of his lines. Milla Jovovich is here too. Oh, and Mel Gibson has a supporting role as a ball-busting FBI agent investigating the murder. He produced the film (along with Bono), and was quoted as saying the movie "was as boring as a dog's ass". Trailer:
  8. hebmskebm

    Which Movies Does HDTGM Absolutely Need To Review?

    2004's She Hate Me, a film about a fired corporate whistleblower who starts a lucrative business impregnating wealthy lesbians the "old fashioned way". It truly is the perfect film for HDTGM. Bonkers premise, lots of big stars in embarrassing roles. It features: -Bai Ling!!!! -Isaiah Whitlock doing his patented "Sheeeeeeeeeeet" line later made famous in The Wire -The most batshit crazy CGI sperm/egg conception sequences you will ever see -Kerry Washington, Monica Belucci, and the aforementioned Bai Ling are among the many lesbians -Woody Harrelson, John Turtorro, and Pro Football Hall of Famer Jim Brown in supporting roles -An extended flashback to the Watergate break-in for no clear reason (featuring Chiwetel Ejiofor!) -Did I mention the title was derived from the "He Hate Me" name that was famously on the back of one of the players in the short-lived XFL football league? Here's the trailer. Please, watch this movie!
  9. How do you make a romcom that features Luke Wilson, Ben Affleck, Denise Richards, Melissa McCarthy, Matt Damon, Lauren Graham, Jeff Garlin, and the O-Face guy from Office Space and have it go 12 years completely unseen to most of the movie watching public? When it's this fucking bad: Trailer: Synopsis: After more than a year fantasizing about asking out his co-worker, Stanley (Luke Wilson) finally asks Diana Evans (Denise Richards) out on a date. As the two venture out on their first date, Stanley hits a homeless man Phil (Jay Lacopo) with his car, and the events that follow are far from the night of romance that Stanley had planned. Meanwhile, Stan's co-workers, including his friend, Michael (Ben Affleck), are monitoring the date between Stan and Diana, and they are betting on how far Stan will get with the beautiful Diana. It's available to stream on Netflix if you feel inclined to subject yourself to this weird, weird, brand of comedy.
  10. hebmskebm

    Dragon Wars: D-War (2007)

    I had sex immediately after seeing this movie when I was in college. I'm not saying this movie is an aphrodisiac, but I'm not not saying it either.
  11. hebmskebm

    She Hate Me (2004) dir. Spike Lee

    Here are the sperm/egg scenes I was talking about. Keep in mind the rest of the movie is not computer animated, so the first time one appears in the film is an amazing WTF moment (BTW it comes after an extended montage of the protagonist having sex with a half dozen different lesbians)
  12. I registered on this site because the world needs you guys to cover this film. As the typical Second Opinion Amazon reviewer is wont to say, THIS MOVIE HAS EVERYTHING! -BAI LING!!!!!!!! -ISAIAH WHITLOCK DOING HIS TRADEMARK "SHEEEEEEEEEEET" LINE MADE FAMOUS IN THE WIRE -THE GREATEST COMPUTER ANIMATED SPERM/EGG CONCEPTION SEQUENCES EVER CREATED. MAN INVENTED COMPUTERS FOR THESE SCENES TO ONE DAY BE MADE ON THEM -A YOUNG KERRY WASHINGTON HAVING LESBIAN AND THREE-WAY SEX -LOTS AND LOTS OF OTHER SEX -WOODY HARRELSON AND ELLEN BARKIN PLAYING ENRON-ESQUE CORPORATE DICKBAGS -A TITLE THAT WAS BASED ON AN XFL FOOTBALL PLAYER'S NICKNAME ON THE BACK OF HIS JERSEY -THE WATERGATE BREAK-IN -JIM MOTHERFUCKING BROWN -SPIKE LEE'S BITING SOCIAL COMMENTARY ON WHITE-COLLAR CRIME AND TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE (or maybe just him indulging a fetish for an alpha male being able to momentarily turn lesbians straight) IMDB Synopsis: Harvard-educated biotech executive John Henry "Jack" Armstrong gets fired when he informs on his bosses, launching an investigation into their business dealings by the Securities & Exchange Commission. Branded a whistle-blower and therefore unemployable, Jack desperately needs to make a living. When his former girlfriend Fatima, a high powered businesswoman--and now a lesbian--offers him cash to impregnate her and her new girlfriend Alex, Jack is persuaded by the chance to make easy money. Word spreads and soon Jack is in the baby-making business at $10,000 a try. Lesbians with a desire for motherhood and the cash to spare are lining up to seek his services. But, between the attempts by his former employers to frame him for security fraud and his dubious fathering activities, Jack finds his life, all at once, becoming very complicated. Trailer: I cannot stress enough how tailor-made this movie is for the show. You will not be disappointed.
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