SelfieControl

I don't think this movie is bad. This movie is amazing. It's the best movie I saw in 2014 (the worst one was Birdman). But I can see why people might *mistake* this for a bad movie. I want to hear what y'all think.

Went to go see this last night, and just wanted to say I'm looking forward to the inevitable review.

snakes in space

*your cage, probably

if my glasses show flashes, then my eyes are a'lacking if zeros and ones, then I am a'hacking MOVIE HAIKUS: Do they shoot the dog? Hey, are they going to kill that dog? I'll walk out. I swear. 10,000 men fire, yet in a rain of bullets only mine will hit. I ate my fingers. And I'm terrible at math. haikus are a gamble.

I think John Wick and Crank had a lot in common. They establish a motive for the character early in the movie, and once that's out of the way, they get right to it. They have the same sort of humor and John Wick plays around with subtitles like Crank does. Birdman thought it was clever and needed you to know. It tries to comment on everything (drama vs movies, good movies vs bad movies, "what is art?", etc.), but never says anything. It is so self-consciously meta. It's a movie about a former actor making a play but the camera's presence is obvious from the framing. Plus, Michael Keaton's whole conceit is so precious. They can't wink at his Batman role and be done with it; his character's humor is based on his life in our world. They never break the fourth wall but they can't stop themselves from prodding it. idk it seemed like the people tried for subtlety but then were too proud of themselves for being clever and just made moments more and more obvious so you could appreciate how smart they were too. And I hate brooding, indulgent movies about genius men who wreck their families and now must live with their genius and romantic depression. And I hate that stupid drum soundtrack.

Come experience "The Oldest Established" in a whole new way!

stay safe/away from windows

The messages will hidden in his perfect quaft.

Colombian and trapped in a bag!

I wish I had a clever hook too but I only have the titles D;

let the record show that this some B! S! *overturns podium*

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Chlorophyll? I hardly KNOW phyll!

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don't think of me as your overlord, I want to be your overfriend

1 Pomeranians 13

side note: you can totally hand jive to this.

matthew mccnaughwhat'sup. ( I bet it was a ton of times, I bet it was in middle school, and I bet he HATES IT.)

just kidding guys there's no real rapture to spirit the worthy awa

D:

i hate crabs but i am also curious about them.

I think there are too many commas in this? There aren't commas in the "Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo..." thing, which is the same principle this joke uses. Someone smarter than me should check this, but I think, "He bought her her new New Jersey jersey," is grammatical. idk, this is out of curiosity, not grammar nazi-ism.

YOU WOULDN'T HIT A RAPPER WITH GLASSES, WOULD YOU?