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Cockney Mackem

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Everything posted by Cockney Mackem

  1. Cockney Mackem

    Van Damme Character Names

    Oh, you know, that whole cyborg-guitar thing...
  2. Cockney Mackem

    Van Damme Character Names

    Gibson Rickenbacker! Oh my days
  3. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 131.5 - Minisode 131.5

    I really hate to do this but isn't that more or less the plot of Drillbit Taylor?
  4. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 131.5 - Minisode 131.5

    Tremendous! I have a comment on one of Dux's claims in the film but I'm saving it for corrections and omissions in the podcast episode...
  5. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 131 - The Covenant

    I know it's New England and everything but I didn't realise how many British place names have been used in just that area; Boston Salisbury Amesbury Newbury Haverhill Rowley Ipswich Andover Gloucester Essex Manchester Beverly (sort of) Hamilton Boxford Actually on that map all but six of those places are English/British place names.
  6. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 131.5 - Minisode 131.5

    Is that one of his actual claims or one of the parodies of him that does the rounds?
  7. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 131.5 - Minisode 131.5

    The high water mark of a bullshitter where I grew up was a bloke who claimed he once karate chopped a seagull in half as it flew past him. Spent so long in the SAS that he only ate his dinner with a spoon - didn't trust himself with a knife etc...
  8. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 131.5 - Minisode 131.5

    The internet would have killed Dux's reputation for sure. The claim in the closing credits of Bloodsport it claims that over 5 years he fought 329 successive bouts, won them all and retired undefeated, and one of the tournaments involved 56 successive knockouts (in one tournament). Really? On the other hand the fact that there actually is a caption card at the end with information about the real life character makes this feel like one of the more serious and credible Cannon films, like it's their Hawking/Turing movie.
  9. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 131.5 - Minisode 131.5

    Well, I've missed some of the recent ones because they're so hard to find in the UK, but I've just bought this on iTunes and sitting down to watch it now. I'm still not sure if Forest Whitaker is actually in this film or if I just dreamed it
  10. My only caveat is there isn't exactly a shortage of superhero movies at the moment so the world isn't crying out for another one, but Catwoman.
  11. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 131 - The Covenant

    Those lists are always shite. Apart from the fact that you get bombarded with adware, they have some incredibly lame entries. "Celebrities you didn't know were gay" - Ian McKellen? Oh yeah, he's been keeping that under his massive wizard hat since he fucking came out 30 years ago and started publicly campaigning for gay rights....
  12. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 130.5 - Minisode 130.5

    Julian Sands in Warlock totally has my vote for a future HDTGM episode
  13. Cockney Mackem

    "Cannon Films is Back in Business"

    Invasion USA is a better candidate in my very humble opinion. The presence of some real life stories and proper actors add a little too much realism to Delta Force, whereas Invasion USA is just balls-out mental and makes you yearn for the politically balanced, gritty realism of Red Dawn.
  14. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 130 - Teen Witch

    Perhaps Leo is just very inclusive and appreciative of diversity. (And very cunning in his choice of wingman)
  15. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 130 - Teen Witch

    Ooh, have a like. If only the photo was also a selfie
  16. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 129.5 - Minisode 129.5

    The other thing that's notable about John Carpenter is you have to go a loooong way down his list of films before you find something that's actually shit with nothing to commend a rewatch.
  17. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 130 - Teen Witch

    Nice work getting your theme used! Fun fact: Just One Of The Guys" was a PG-13 film in the US but its rating in apartheid-era South Africa was the equivalent of R because they disapproved of the cross-dressing theme. No one under 18 was allowed to see it.
  18. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 129.5 - Minisode 129.5

    Well, since I'm a geek and on a train journey, and too tired to concentrate on the novel I'm trying to write, here's my all time John Carpenter films list in order of preference. Only films he personally directed. The Thing Escape From New York Assault on Precinct 13 Big Trouble In Little China Star Man Prince of Darkness They Live Halloween The Fog Dark Star Elvis In The Mouth of Madness Christine Vampires Village of the Damned Escape from LA Ghosts of Mars The Ward Memoirs of an Invisible Man
  19. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 130 - Teen Witch

    Is that a reference to Shakespeare's The Tempest?
  20. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 130 - Teen Witch

    Quite late to the party again, but isn't Jason basically the smartest guy in the room at all times? He's always very eloquent with all kinds of classical or kind of highbrow references like using the word diegetic in context in this podcast. In the last one it was him noticing that The Apple's story was resolved by a deus ex machina where God literally emerges from a machine.
  21. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 129.5 - Minisode 129.5

    I know I'm really late to the party, but I really hope that Alfred Molina and Alf are in fact the same person. In the same way that I suspect that Andrea Riseborough is undercover in the aristocratic English reality TV crapfest as one of the women in some kind of bizarre living performance art project. I couldn't agree more about They Live. That whole bit made me sad and angry. Sorry Paul. Michael Bay should be hunted down with pitchforks and firehoses filled with liquid shit if he goes near any of Carpenter's films; even Vampires or Ghosts of Mars. I WOULD quite like to see a Michael Bay remake of Out of Africa. That's an 80s movie that would benefit from a few robots, explosions and gratuitous arse shots.
  22. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 129 - The Apple: LIVE!

    Ippy ky - yay kemo-sabe was the version of Die Hard we used to get here in the UK. In Lethal Weapon the bad guys were a bunch of muddy funsters. And an edited-for-Kuwait version of Robocop (long story) Murphy was a "mean mother-crusher," the robber firing his shotgun in the convenience store might have been saying "fcuk off" with his lips, but was saying "why me?" on the soundtrack. And my favourite was when someone accused of saying something preposterous or wrong was met with a cry of BULL-derdash!
  23. Cockney Mackem

    Episode 129 - The Apple: LIVE!

    Well, I tried but I simply can't find this film to watch. I only have UK Amazon Prime and Netflix, and the subscriptions don't cross over to the US stores. None of the usual dodgy links work so I'm going to have to give this a miss. However, in a vain attempt to create a "motif" for my presence on these threads... Hello, early eighties Catherine Mary Stewart! Actually, fuck it. Also, hello, early eighties Miriam Margolyes
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