Cockney Mackem

So my search history is now kind of - *interesting* since I've been googling "Dolph Lundgren butt naked"

Let's get some HDTGM glutes on show!

Fun fact, Axe is marketed as Lynx in the UK (presumably with the same customer base of sweaty teenagers wondering why they are not inundated with ravenously turned on women like in the commercials. So here Jason smells of LYNX and come at me bro

Course, if we want to widen it out to blonde mullets in general...

I'd like to think that in the Director's Cut of this film, He Man couldn't get back to Eternia, and had to find work on Earth working in kids TV in the UK

Says it's no longer available

Produced by Cannon with Golan-Globus. Now there's a mark of quality.

Fucking hell

Oh my days this is a shambles of a film

Colbert gifs are the BEST

OK so the 1958 Dracula changes a lot of plot but is very close to the intent of the book, so ner.

I don't mind when films deviate from the source material to make a film, if the result is good (and if the book is a cherished favourite, if it stays true to the spirit of the original). The things that piss me off about Bram Stoker's Dracula are, in no order: - claiming to be a really close faithful adaptation of the book (why do that, if it isn't?) - claiming it's the only faithful adaptation of the book (hey Francis, Christopher Lee says go fuck yourself) - Keanu Reeves making Dick Van Dyke's attempt at an English accent seem like Meryl Streep's Iron Lady by comparison - Sadie Frost (ooh look a werewolf! I must IMMEDIATELY let him smash my back doors in) - Mina Harker (don't go yet Mr Dracula, I haven't given you a blowjob yet) - Van Helsing's accent (if Keanu can't be bothered vy should I, ja?) - Van Helsing deciding that just as the final battle kicks in is the perfect time to decide to shag Mina Harker. Oh, but she's seducing him with her vampiry ways and he's only the most experienced vampire hunter in the world, he won't know what's hit him - Shooting the whole thing like a Meat Loaf video (only shorter) - The whole dead wife motivation for Dracula - sorry, is this Mel Gibson's Dracula? - Dracula's wife hears a rumour he's dead and immediately chucks herself off the side of a castle without checking whether it's true or not. Dracula's wife is a fucking idiot. - Jonathan Harker: well my wife to be totally fell in love with this dude and fucked his brains out, but I have no qualms whatsoever about our future together Although in fairness the first forty minutes in Transylvania are pretty good, and Tom Waits is tremendous.

Well, since you mention it, one could interpret the whole thing as a punishment from God for our consumerist greed and loss of values, and when the waitress is screaming "We made YOU!" she's just arguing the Nietschean viewpoint that if God did not exist it would have been necessary to invent him...

And one of the trucks drives over the salesman's suitcase full of Bibles.

That sounds about right

How about Nic Cage's face on the front of the truck?

So, uh, sorry if this has been said already, but apparently Stephen King's first choice for the role that went to Emilio Estevez was - Bruce Springsteen?

I don't know if this is a correction or an omission because I'm not listening to the podcast until I finish Breaking Bad this weekend. However, the coast and their escape route is half a mile away, and the machine gun vehicle lets them know they're out of fuel. The trucks have one gun and the truck stop has an arsenal. And the machine gun is only dangerous if you don't duck. Why the bloody fuck do they waste time refuelling all the homicidal trucks when they coin wait until they all run out of gas and stroll to the marina?

Fucking. Hell.

If they're going to do a remake of Roadhouse with a female lead, they should go all out and reverse the genders of all the roles. Bouncers, villains, henchmen, rowdy drinkers, redneck bystanders, blind guitarists, all women. Plucky, non-sexual friend who explains the story as needed, male. Strippers and dancers, male. Drunk par patron who gets half naked, dances on a table and starts a riot, male. Slutty Sex plaything of the villain who dances nude in the bar for no reason, delaying a full on death match fight between the rival bar teams, and offers the goods on a plate to the lead bouncer, male. Which will be a cunning inversion of social mores when the female bouncer says "keep your dog on a leash" and when the female villain gives him a black eye to keep him in line. The sexy doctor love interest should still be female though, and they should still have a love scene which is explicit and over extended to the point of awkwardness. It will also add spice to when the (female) psycho henchman (henchwoman? Henchperson?) says "I used to fuck girls like you in prison." Maybe this could be accompanied by a gratuitous flashback scene.

THEY'RE TEDDY BEARS FOR FUCK'S SAKE

They should combine this with Top Dog for a remake called MAXIMUM ROVERDRIVE

Timing.

Secret of good comedy?