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Cockney Mackem

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Posts posted by Cockney Mackem

  1. Posted

    This documentary is fucking bananas. I have no doubt in my mind that Richard Stanley's movie would have been amazing.

     

    But also, Stanley is so totally crazy. I lost my shit when he hired a warlock named Skip (yes, Skip) to perform a ritual to mend his meeting with Brando.

     

    I honestly don't think Stanley's film would have been good. I don't think he's actually capable of getting a production through from beginning to end. He's full of interesting ideas but too mental to get them on screen.

  2. Posted

     

    That is for June.

     

    Omissions -

     

    This movie ended up being directed by legendary filmmaker John Frankenheimer who directed The Manchurian Candidate, Birdman of Alcatraz, and Ronin. Frankenheimer apparently hated Kilmer and is said to have yelled, "Get this bastard off my set!" when they wrapped on Kilmer.

     

    Brando and his Mini-Me were also the inspiration for the mad scientist and his mini in South Park.

     

    Frankenheimer saying "get that son of a bitch off my set" is often used as an example of Val Kilmer being difficult. But when David Thewlis was asked about this he said he never had a problem with Val Kilmer and said that John Frankenheimer was horrible on set. He was a complete bully and treated people disgracefully, and felt that Kilmer was reacting badly to that.

    • Like 1

  3. Posted

    The return of Juuuuune, in the flesh!

     

    Omission, but really more just a crazy fact: director of Dust Devil and Hardware, Richard Stanley, was fired from Dr. Moreau which was his project that he had worked on and obsessed over for years. It was rumored that he snuck back onto the set as an extra in order to observe and sabotage production. In his own words, when nothing else worked, he turned to black magic and witchcraft. He later made a documentary in 2002 called The White Darkness, about voodoo in Haiti.

     

    A friend of mine worked as an assistant to Richard Stanley on one of several films that fell apart and didn't get made. He said Stanley is absolutely insane and tried to attack my friend with an axe. He is not in the least surprised Stanley got fired from this film because even the films he's managed to make were a fucking mess.

    • Like 1

  4. Posted

    I want to mount a 1-man show focused on the 12 hours Nic Cage spent between filming Con Air and Face/Off.

     

    In it, Nic travels to the world of the dead and teams up with Aleister Crowley to rescue Butterscotch, the Jack Russel Terrier who taught him the craft of acting.

     

    I believe the first scene Cage shot after coming back from Con Air was the prison fight. You see him morph from Stoic Nic Cage back to Batshit Mental Nic Cage as he first puts a shit eating looney grin on his face

  8. Posted

    Sorry if this is already there, I did search. This is a 2004 film currently rotating on the UK Sci fi channel. It's about a secret society of dinosaurs who disguise themselves as humans to live secretly among us today. It's got a Baldwin in it and, it says here, is based on the novel by Eric Garcia

    • Like 1

  11. Posted

    BTW, Samuel L Jackson finishing his commentary when his character gets killed off is one of the coolest things ive ever heard of. i just have an image of him commenting on the scene, then, without saying a word, taking off the headphones, walking out of the booth and straight out of the building, leaving the guys in the control room both bemused and in total awe

     

    Another cool one is Robert Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder. Because his character is an actor who takes the method to absurd lengths, he has that line in the film where he doesn't drop character until he's done the DVD commentary. So on the DVD commentary for this he's in character as Lincoln Osiris until that character melts down, then he's in character as fake Russell Crowe.

    • Like 1

  12. Posted

     

    Good point, but here's my question, how was Carter able to track a single, evidently untagged shark in the open ocean? We know the sharks are untagged due to a line regarding the storm reducing visibility and that when the sharks take out the cameras no one says, "No problem, I can still track them on this screen..." They just sort of collectively shit their pants.

     

    Also, based on a line from Scoggins, we are told that sharks can swim at an average speed of 50 ft per second which, despite assertions of his "trustworthiness," is patently untrue. Bursts of speed, maybe, but not average speed. But, let's take Scoggins at his word and say the average speed for this specific breed of unholy sharks is 50 feet per second. And let us further assume that since the sharks are solely tracked visually, by the time the team discovers a shark is missing and they are able to mobilize a search party, an hour has passed. Not taking into account the three dimensional space that is the fucking ocean, that means they would have a potential search area of 3,653 sq miles! To put this in perspective, this is about 1,200 sq miles larger than the state of Deleware.

     

    Is Carter magic or did the shark leave a swath of dismembered frat boys in its wake? Was the good ship Douche Bro at the beginning of the movie only the next stop on the shark’s grisly tapas crawl?

     

    And since I'm not really a math guy I will go ahead and show my work, feel free to let me know if I'm wrong:

     

    50ft x 60secs= 3,000ft,

    3,000ft x 60 mins=180,000ft

    180,000ft /5280 ft per mile =34.1 miles

    A=Ï€r2

    3,653 sq miles= 3.14 (34.1)2

     

    (On a related note, I may have just out nerded the Internet)

     

    You, sir, get a like for that.

    • Like 1

  14. Posted

    OK so I know I'm resurrecting a thread from 2 years ago but I was catching up on the Spider-Man 3 podcast today and I swear I nearly bumped into the living image of Sam Raimi! It clearly wasn't him because I was in a supermarket in London but fuck me it looked like him. Of course I gave him the finger guns.

     

     

     

     

     

    (no I didn't)

  18. Posted

    I remember being so disappointed when I saw this film because the concept seemed to be everything I wanted to see in a film - graphic novel / superhero type setting but an antihero with a bit of jekyll and hyde thrown in, darker and bloodied than this kind of thing is normally told.

     

    In the end I found it too screwball and incoherent, and the whole pastiche of old Universal horror that he was going for just made the effects and acting seem shit. I know this is a matter of taste because a lot of what I hated is what a lot of people loved.

  22. Posted

    Having seen others post on this film, I decided that I wouldn't be able to watch it without harming myself. I settled for the Official Spoileriffic Wikipedia Plot Summary. While reading this I still had to pinch myself to stop losing concentration.

     

    You could not pay me to watch this. Everyone involved in the production can fuck right off.

  23. Posted

    Apologies if this is already mentioned or been done (I did check) but Fire Birds aka Wings of the Apache starring the mighty combo of Nicolas Cage and Sean Young. In case you haven't endured it it's a really pisspoor ripoff of Top Gun with almost no urgency or drama. God knows how they made it so turgid. As I recall the hero's main challenge to succeeding as a pilot is right eye dominance or some similar shite.

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