nthurkettle

Bumping this since These Kids Today are super-into binge-watching "Friends" but, since they weren't around when it was new, they are tragically under-educated in how EVERY SINGLE FRIEND got multiple chances to become a movie star; and this is WAY more entertaining to watch than, say, David Schwimmer in "The Pallbearer".

It actually used to be an inside joke with a friend of mine that we'd say "You up for the house special?" to each other because of the sequence where: a) Lithgow surreptitiously records Denzel Washington flirting with a waitress, then b) Drugs Denzel into unconsciousness with heroin, then c) Hires a prostitute to have sex with his unconscious body, while d) Videotaping, so he can e) DUB the dialogue from the waitress flirting over the hooker video so it looks as if Denzel is conscious and participating, then f) Publicize the videotape to ruin Denzel's reputation, WHILE g) As a bonus (or maybe part of the plan question mark?,) giving Denzel a VENEREAL DISEASE And this is just, like, PART of his revenge plan.

I'm here for it too. After all, a Beretta in the butt beats a butterfly in the boot.

Well we need this movie now; because it's the OG Floor is Lava. Wilshire Blvd. is Lava. Subway is Lava. EVERYTHING IS LAVA.

Wouldn't the episode inevitably turn into: "Objectivism. How Did THIS Get Made?" I'm not saying that's a bad thing.

I can't tell you how genuinely happy it would make me right now to walk into a movie theater, buy a bucket of popcorn, and sit down to watch a giant budget remake of Robot Jox from the makers of John Wick with a Jason Momoa robot fighting with a crazy Russian Nicolas Cage robot. That level of joy would add a year to my life.

I love how they were so excited to jump on that "bullet time" bandwagon post-Matrix, built a whole sequence around creating an excuse for "bullet time", and one of their two big "bullet time" shots is literally - "Freddie Prinze, Jr. standing, looking worried". Yes, filmmakers, we really needed to freeze this thrilling moment in time and zoom around it.

I agree with these ratings. Dante's Peak tries to take itself more seriously while starring Pierce Brosnan as a volcano expert who's all intense and haunted because of the volcano that killed his beloved, and that's so stupid a plot to try and treat seriously. Whereas Volcano just owns being incredibly stupid and ends with Randy Newman singing "I Love L.A." and it's infinitely more watchable.

Okay, there was a thread for this versus Non-Stop, but I found it absolutely stunning that no one had started a dedicated thread on one of the seminal "Die Hard on a..." early 90's knockoffs. It's the "Always Bet on Black" movie, people. HOW HAVE WE FAILED?

Woke up today thinking about my heroic dude Stan, who is half-smelted by MAGMA and still is able to gorilla-press-throw his friend to safety like the Ultimate Warrior. Rest in Power, Stan, and HDTGM: DO THIS MOVIE. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R01bex9Ejvg

Perfect timing to lobby for this since it's on Disney+. Like 70% of Return to Oz is a straight-up HORROR MOVIE. It's incredible. The disembodied head corridor. Auntie 'Em handing Dorothy over to a mad quack doctor for electroshock therapy. The living pumpkin man who keeps calling Dorothy "Mommy" in a really upsetting way. DO IT.

My new operating theory for why they haven't done this yet is June's clear antipathy for mythological jargon-heavy sci-fi/fantasy movies. The "Starcrash" episode reminded me of how furious "Highlander 2" made her - they might need to give her time to breathe before inflicting this horrorshow on her.

A documentary about this movie's queer content and the aftermath effect on its lead actor was just released. It's narrated by Cecil Baldwin of "Welcome to Night Vale" fame. Having him as a guest to talk about this movie would move a TON of Squarespace subscriptions, I would think...

CO-SIGN. Really want them to do DePalma's "Body Double" but would also accept this because it is just non-stop head-snappingly crazy. It's like he made a sequel to "Carrie" that was also a sci-fi/paranormal movie and ALSO a spy thriller.

Now legit wondering why "Wilford Brimley charging out of fire on horseback" isn't every meme on the Internet; because honestly it's got about a million uses.

I'm an actor in L.A., and the first time this project hit the casting websites, I couldn't believe it was real and not some kind of very unfunny prank. Then it was re-listed an absurd number of times - my guess is this auteur was having a hard time finding actors who didn't throw up in their mouths while reading the sides. This is one of those cases, though, where I agree this movie doesn't deserve HDTGM's spotlight.

Sounds like SOMEONE needs a good Care Bear Stare...

When the FIRST movie featuring mid-80's plush superstars the Care Bears made a shocking amount of money, they rushed a sequel into production; and moved so fast that I don't think they noticed the sick undercurrents of the main plotline, where an all-destroying red cloud of supernatural hate called Dark Heart disguises himself as a cute teenage badboy and basically seduces teenage girl Christy by promising to use his dark magic to help her win all the sports at her summer camp, in exchange for an unidentified, ominous favor she'll owe him later. His whole M.O. is kidnapping the Care Bears in sacks, and when he's thwarted, he straight MURDERS Christy with lightning, and then the Care Bears pull a Peter Pan and beg the children in the audience to bring her back to life by saying "WE CARE". It's...I don't know how you inflict this on children. Seriously - how do they create a scene like this and not get how alarming it is? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFSXFaiGPLg

The lower legs are kind of horse-like, but I agree; much more likely an imaginary bear in a wig than an imaginary horse.

As a bump for the "Comedy About Buddy Cops, One of Whom is So Broken By Torture That He Blacks Out And Starts Impersonating Cartoon Characters, Recovering a Nazi Porn Movie", here's the credits theme song sung by Katey Sagal and Dan Aykroyd, which I think could best be described as "Concussed Members of Midnight Oil Are Hired to Write an 80's Bond Theme":

Directed by Jonathan Frakes, aka Cmdr. William T. Riker. He mostly directs television episodes these days, and his nickname on-set is "Two Takes Frakes", since he almost never sees the need to spend longer on a scene.

I believe this movie may have been one of the infamous "strike projects" - in 2001 the SAG and WGA union contracts were set to expire simultaneously, which hadn't happened in a long time. The Hollywood studios were terrified that the unions might take the opportunity of the added leverage to strike (SPOILERS - they didn't that time around), and so during the spring and summer of 2001 a BUNCH of movies got jammed into production so the studios would have a stockpile they could release in case of an extended strike. So a lot of scripts that were in....possibly iffy shape?...were suddenly getting hustled in front of cameras - "Serving Sara" with Matthew Perry and Elizabeth Hurley and "The Hunted" with Tommy Lee Jones and Benicio Del Toro, were also considered strike projects, if I recall correctly. Per IMDB trivia, this was shot in the summer of 2001, but they had to organize reshoots after September 11th because a key scene was built around a Hindenburg gag that suddenly seemed horrifying, and both Lisa Kudrow and Damon Wayans had TV commitments so it took many months to get them re-scheduled.

I remember there was a scene in this where Paul Giamatti could only find out more about the mythology of the Blue World if he acted like a baby because the old lady would only tell it as a bedtime story for children. So he curls up on the couch like a toddler and it is SO unsettling.

Christian Slater is supposed to save us all and yet he can't even master turning pages in a magazine.

Bumping for being the only Star Trek movie to contain Vulcan Marshmallow Dispensing Technology: