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About nthurkettle

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  1. nthurkettle

    Volcano (1997)

    Well we need this movie now; because it's the OG Floor is Lava. Wilshire Blvd. is Lava. Subway is Lava. EVERYTHING IS LAVA.
  2. nthurkettle

    Atlas Shrugged (2011)

    Wouldn't the episode inevitably turn into: "Objectivism. How Did THIS Get Made?" I'm not saying that's a bad thing.
  3. nthurkettle

    Robot Jox (1989)

    I can't tell you how genuinely happy it would make me right now to walk into a movie theater, buy a bucket of popcorn, and sit down to watch a giant budget remake of Robot Jox from the makers of John Wick with a Jason Momoa robot fighting with a crazy Russian Nicolas Cage robot. That level of joy would add a year to my life.
  4. nthurkettle

    Wing Commander (1999)

    I love how they were so excited to jump on that "bullet time" bandwagon post-Matrix, built a whole sequence around creating an excuse for "bullet time", and one of their two big "bullet time" shots is literally - "Freddie Prinze, Jr. standing, looking worried". Yes, filmmakers, we really needed to freeze this thrilling moment in time and zoom around it.
  5. nthurkettle

    Volcano (1997)

    I agree with these ratings. Dante's Peak tries to take itself more seriously while starring Pierce Brosnan as a volcano expert who's all intense and haunted because of the volcano that killed his beloved, and that's so stupid a plot to try and treat seriously. Whereas Volcano just owns being incredibly stupid and ends with Randy Newman singing "I Love L.A." and it's infinitely more watchable.
  6. nthurkettle

    Volcano (1997)

    Woke up today thinking about my heroic dude Stan, who is half-smelted by MAGMA and still is able to gorilla-press-throw his friend to safety like the Ultimate Warrior. Rest in Power, Stan, and HDTGM: DO THIS MOVIE. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R01bex9Ejvg
  7. nthurkettle

    Return to Oz (1985)

    Perfect timing to lobby for this since it's on Disney+. Like 70% of Return to Oz is a straight-up HORROR MOVIE. It's incredible. The disembodied head corridor. Auntie 'Em handing Dorothy over to a mad quack doctor for electroshock therapy. The living pumpkin man who keeps calling Dorothy "Mommy" in a really upsetting way. DO IT.
  8. nthurkettle

    Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

    My new operating theory for why they haven't done this yet is June's clear antipathy for mythological jargon-heavy sci-fi/fantasy movies. The "Starcrash" episode reminded me of how furious "Highlander 2" made her - they might need to give her time to breathe before inflicting this horrorshow on her.
  9. A documentary about this movie's queer content and the aftermath effect on its lead actor was just released. It's narrated by Cecil Baldwin of "Welcome to Night Vale" fame. Having him as a guest to talk about this movie would move a TON of Squarespace subscriptions, I would think...
  10. nthurkettle

    The Fury (1978)

    CO-SIGN. Really want them to do DePalma's "Body Double" but would also accept this because it is just non-stop head-snappingly crazy. It's like he made a sequel to "Carrie" that was also a sci-fi/paranormal movie and ALSO a spy thriller.
  11. nthurkettle

    Hard Target (1993)

    Now legit wondering why "Wilford Brimley charging out of fire on horseback" isn't every meme on the Internet; because honestly it's got about a million uses.
  12. nthurkettle

    Loqueesha (2019)

    I'm an actor in L.A., and the first time this project hit the casting websites, I couldn't believe it was real and not some kind of very unfunny prank. Then it was re-listed an absurd number of times - my guess is this auteur was having a hard time finding actors who didn't throw up in their mouths while reading the sides. This is one of those cases, though, where I agree this movie doesn't deserve HDTGM's spotlight.
  13. nthurkettle

    Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986)

    Sounds like SOMEONE needs a good Care Bear Stare...
  14. nthurkettle

    Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986)

    The lower legs are kind of horse-like, but I agree; much more likely an imaginary bear in a wig than an imaginary horse.
  15. nthurkettle

    Loose Cannons (1990)

    As a bump for the "Comedy About Buddy Cops, One of Whom is So Broken By Torture That He Blacks Out And Starts Impersonating Cartoon Characters, Recovering a Nazi Porn Movie", here's the credits theme song sung by Katey Sagal and Dan Aykroyd, which I think could best be described as "Concussed Members of Midnight Oil Are Hired to Write an 80's Bond Theme":