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About nthurkettle

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  1. nthurkettle

    Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

    My new operating theory for why they haven't done this yet is June's clear antipathy for mythological jargon-heavy sci-fi/fantasy movies. The "Starcrash" episode reminded me of how furious "Highlander 2" made her - they might need to give her time to breathe before inflicting this horrorshow on her.
  2. A documentary about this movie's queer content and the aftermath effect on its lead actor was just released. It's narrated by Cecil Baldwin of "Welcome to Night Vale" fame. Having him as a guest to talk about this movie would move a TON of Squarespace subscriptions, I would think...
  3. nthurkettle

    The Fury (1978)

    CO-SIGN. Really want them to do DePalma's "Body Double" but would also accept this because it is just non-stop head-snappingly crazy. It's like he made a sequel to "Carrie" that was also a sci-fi/paranormal movie and ALSO a spy thriller.
  4. nthurkettle

    Hard Target (1993)

    Now legit wondering why "Wilford Brimley charging out of fire on horseback" isn't every meme on the Internet; because honestly it's got about a million uses.
  5. nthurkettle

    Loqueesha (2019)

    I'm an actor in L.A., and the first time this project hit the casting websites, I couldn't believe it was real and not some kind of very unfunny prank. Then it was re-listed an absurd number of times - my guess is this auteur was having a hard time finding actors who didn't throw up in their mouths while reading the sides. This is one of those cases, though, where I agree this movie doesn't deserve HDTGM's spotlight.
  6. nthurkettle

    Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986)

    Sounds like SOMEONE needs a good Care Bear Stare...
  7. nthurkettle

    Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986)

    The lower legs are kind of horse-like, but I agree; much more likely an imaginary bear in a wig than an imaginary horse.
  8. nthurkettle

    Loose Cannons (1990)

    As a bump for the "Comedy About Buddy Cops, One of Whom is So Broken By Torture That He Blacks Out And Starts Impersonating Cartoon Characters, Recovering a Nazi Porn Movie", here's the credits theme song sung by Katey Sagal and Dan Aykroyd, which I think could best be described as "Concussed Members of Midnight Oil Are Hired to Write an 80's Bond Theme":
  9. nthurkettle

    Clockstoppers (2002)

    Directed by Jonathan Frakes, aka Cmdr. William T. Riker. He mostly directs television episodes these days, and his nickname on-set is "Two Takes Frakes", since he almost never sees the need to spend longer on a scene.
  10. nthurkettle

    Marci X (2003)

    I believe this movie may have been one of the infamous "strike projects" - in 2001 the SAG and WGA union contracts were set to expire simultaneously, which hadn't happened in a long time. The Hollywood studios were terrified that the unions might take the opportunity of the added leverage to strike (SPOILERS - they didn't that time around), and so during the spring and summer of 2001 a BUNCH of movies got jammed into production so the studios would have a stockpile they could release in case of an extended strike. So a lot of scripts that were in....possibly iffy shape?...were suddenly getting hustled in front of cameras - "Serving Sara" with Matthew Perry and Elizabeth Hurley and "The Hunted" with Tommy Lee Jones and Benicio Del Toro, were also considered strike projects, if I recall correctly. Per IMDB trivia, this was shot in the summer of 2001, but they had to organize reshoots after September 11th because a key scene was built around a Hindenburg gag that suddenly seemed horrifying, and both Lisa Kudrow and Damon Wayans had TV commitments so it took many months to get them re-scheduled.
  11. nthurkettle

    Lady in the Water (2006)

    I remember there was a scene in this where Paul Giamatti could only find out more about the mythology of the Blue World if he acted like a baby because the old lady would only tell it as a bedtime story for children. So he curls up on the couch like a toddler and it is SO unsettling.
  12. nthurkettle

    Alone in the Dark (2005)

    Christian Slater is supposed to save us all and yet he can't even master turning pages in a magazine.
  13. nthurkettle

    Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

    Bumping for being the only Star Trek movie to contain Vulcan Marshmallow Dispensing Technology:
  14. For all the great jokes made about Van Helsing's hat, our hosts missed what I think is the most obvious one. Look at this damned Wanted poster: It shows you absolutely NOTHING about Van Helsing's face. Literally the only detail there for people to latch onto is his hat. If he's having so many problems with people telling "MURDERER!" at him everywhere he goes, TAKE OFF THE HAT. BUY A DIFFERENT HAT. NO ONE WILL RECOGNIZE YOU.
  15. nthurkettle

    Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

    At this point, I have to believe this is like how they've been teasing a Showgirls episode forever - in that they've got something special in mind for this movie and are just waiting for it to come together. Otherwise, I have no idea how this hasn't happened yet, because it is LEGENDARY ridiculous badness but so entertaining.