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nthurkettle

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Posts posted by nthurkettle

  1. Posted

    The second one also had some nonsense subplot about lost Vatican gold as well.

     

    The crazy thing is that the lost Vatican gold WAS the plot - it was the McGuffin the whole conspiracy was ultimately about; not that it's at all easy to make sense of that when your hero is Macgyvering baked beans into an assassin-deterrent.

  2. Posted

    Brian Dennehy is the perfect illustration, I think, of when you're hired for a first movie as a serious actor:

     

    brian-dennehy-fx-25-35.jpg

     

    And for the sequel, your agent convinces you that you're a movie star now and should look and play it that way and make those big happy sequel bucks.

     

    fx-2-1991-the-deadly-art-of-illusion-alt-brian-dennehy-fx2-005foh-BKCYXB.jpg

  4. Posted

    Remember the scene where Christian Slater's character shoots a bunch of the zombies/infected/whatthef*ckevers in broad daylight with a gun he wrestled away from a cop and then just nonchalantly walks home? Does, like, NO ONE in the world of the movie even want an explanation from him about what just happened?

  7. Posted

    This movie didn't make me laugh in the way I'd want for a bad movie for HDTGM. Mostly it just made me sad. Emilia Clarke actually did a worthy job as Sarah Connor, and I think they could have pulled off some really balls-out-crazy comic book crossover event style timeline shenanigans, which this franchise is uniquely suited for. "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" started to delve into this before it was canceled, with so many characters getting sent back from the future that they started realizing they were coming back from different alternate futures and so had different memories about what was happening in the war.

     

    Instead, the movie they made...I can't believe no one looked at the script and pointed out that, while Cameron's movies were about tying the fighting instincts of motherhood in with hope for the human race to outlast its instinct for destruction, this movie can be read as two hot young people deciding to murder their child so they can have a cooler life without him. How is that supposed to leave us feeling?

  8. Posted

    One reason I think this movie is a must is that there is such an insane number of characters brought in from the games with literally no exposition or explanation - most of the time you don't even get their names. Which is why I would so love to hear our hosts agreeing upon alternate names for everyone as they attempt to discuss the plot.

     

    For example - HorseBro:

     

     

    4060084-9459495203-motar.png

  9. Posted

    The makers of "The Taking of Beverly Hills" seemed to misunderstand the "Die Hard" ripoff formula of "Blue Collar guy in enclosed environment", substituting it with "rich asshole defends wide open city of rich assholes." "Wiseguy" star Ken Wahl plays a millionaire pro quarterback who is left behind when thieves (led by Hall of Fame Badguy Robert Davi) fake a chemical spill in order to evacuate and then loot the city of Beverly Hills. Wahl teams up with good guy cop Matt "Max Headroom" Frewer, makes about 2,000 sh*tty football-related one-liners, uses his football skills to throw Molotov cocktails at the thieves, and crashes a luxury car in slow motion to the tune of Faith No More's "Epic".

     

    So, a WEE bit of a time capsule.

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we3m5eyFNjk

  10. Posted

    Since this movie establishes that you can revive a character who died in a previous chapter just by yelling their name really loud; I would love to see how this could be applied to other film franchises. Spider-Man could just be like: "UNCLE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" Then lightning would strike and Uncle Ben would be back and then Spidey would just be like "Okay, I'm good, no need to fight crime now."

  11. Posted

    The whole climax is shot in first-person to look like the game footage; only, of course, the audience can't control it. So, basically, they spent $60 Million to give you the experience of watching somebody else play a videogame.

  12. Posted

    This was really during that peak post-Scream period when Hollywood wanted ALL MOVIES to be HOT TEENS. (Like, Hollywood always wants that at least a little, but this was a special time).

     

    The strongest memory I have of this was their way of coping with the deaths of fellow pilots would be to just immediately respond to every mention of their name with "HE NEVER EXISTED". Which, is like, one step away from covering your ears and going "I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA." I'm sure any therapist would be totally on-board with this method.

  13. Posted

    When Disney struck up an agreement to distribute the works of legendary Japanese animation producers Studio Ghibli, they got the rights to release such beloved family classics as Hayao Miyazaki's Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, and Ponyo.

     

    They also got Pom Poko.

     

    Pom Poko is about a group of magical raccoons who use their shape-shifting powers and giant scrotums to infiltrate, terrorize, and sometimes MURDER the human construction workers encroaching on their little forest.

     

    I repeat - the raccoons with giant scrotums kill people. Disney released this movie.

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7cowIHjCD4

  14. Posted

    Surprised no one has introduced this one yet - much as I love it when HDTGM does the thrillers and sci-fi stuff, you really need the occasional "chick flick" to diversify things, and I think people forget just how goddamn weird and inexplicably unfunny this very mainstream and legitimately financially-successful movie was.

     

    Beyond Julia Roberts in a fat suit and a whole plotline about a video that people think shows John Cusack masturbating, you've got Christopher Walken playing an eccentric filmmaker obviously based on the late Hal Ashby who does something that would not only get a director fired but sued and arrested... the whole movie is about movie making, is made by people who have made many movies, and yet its plot is dependent on so many things happening that would just never happen on a Hollywood film or in an actual Hollywood press junket.

     

    Hank Azaria is in it, though, basically playing Antonio Banderas, and he's legitimately hilarious.

  17. Posted

    This movie has a prime example of what Matt Gourley on the James Bonding podcast calls "Pierce Brosnan Hurt Acting". The scene where he's saying "You're trying to get into my head, Jobe!", you keep thinking "no, that's your hand, Pierce. It's not mind-power, you're just pressing your hand into your head really hard."

     

    Also, the treatment of chimpanzees in this movie really demands some scrutiny by June.

    • Like 1

  18. Posted

    So young Frank Dux is caught trying to steal a sword and then lying about it, and then Master Tanaka trains him to live a life of "martial science" - which, who knows what that means but it seems to mean honor and balance and all the usual stuff that serene old Asian men teach white people in movies. Then, in order to pay tribute to his dead teacher, Frank Dux enters - a no-rules murderfest built on secrecy, gambling, and vindictive cruelty. And then makes a movie bragging about how he did it. Frank Dux is really bad at this honor thing.

    • Like 2

  19. Posted

    There is so much nonsense here, I think you could ask every member of the cast and crew what the plot of this was, and none of their explanations would line up. The Hand is chasing The Treasure; only Elektra was maybe the Treasure instead? Or also? And an Evil Woman at one point is like "I used to be The Treasure." So is it a title you can be stripped of, like Miss America?

     

    Also, I love that when The Hand wants to have Elektra followed, their really subtle way of doing this is with a giant CGI bird.

    • Like 2

  20. Posted

    This needs a bump, because it tries to be so serious when its premise is: "If an alien who looked like a really hot woman wanted to bone you, and that boning would destroy humanity, would you still do it?" And they hired SO much acting talent to explore this idea.

  21. Posted

    Okay, there was a thread for this versus Non-Stop, but I found it absolutely stunning that no one had started a dedicated thread on one of the seminal "Die Hard on a..." early 90's knockoffs. It's the "Always Bet on Black" movie, people. HOW HAVE WE FAILED?

     

    Passenger_fifty_seven.jpg

  22. Posted

    So down for this because it really substantiates that Denzel Washington is one of the greatest actors to ever live because of the number of crazy scenes he has to sell as if they are totally not crazy. Like when he defuses a hostage situation by stripping naked. Or his summation speech to a jury that doesn't involve a single legal argument, just him spazzing out and screaming to imitate how the jury was going to feel cooped up in a room but that they had to stay in there until they reached a guilty verdict.

    • Like 1

  24. Posted

    Also - not sure if Blake Harris will cover this, but I believe when Rick Moranis appeared on the Nerdist podcast he indicated that when this project was pitched to him, it was right after producer Joel Silver had made enormous money with "48 Hours", and that Silver told him that this would be an action-comedy hybrid that would do the same thing for his career that "48 Hours" did for Eddie Murphy. Moranis did not indicate how much cocaine Silver was on when he claimed this.

    • Like 1
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