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BonjaminJehnson

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Everything posted by BonjaminJehnson

  1. BonjaminJehnson
    Every woman wants a man in the streets and two cheeks in the pleats
  2. BonjaminJehnson
    Scott nicknames(some of these might've been done): Spaniel Cockerman, Sony Walkerman, Internet Talkermam, Watch Jawanaman, Schnapps Spokesman, Crotch Gawkerman, Top Laundromat (reaching), Wrong Numberman, Shock Jockerman, Fake Letterman, Crop Topperman, Pop Lockerman
  3. BonjaminJehnson
    The man, looking at his flab, prayed to god for washboard abs. Growing sad, getting up to grab his white flag, who walked in but Six Pack Brad ready to suck the sorrow out of the sad sack's bag. Probably my worst submission, but I will hook you all on intrigue for how it ends. BAIT AND SWITCH!i
  4. BonjaminJehnson
    Some say it's a sign of the times but I just call it a clock
  5. BonjaminJehnson
    Everytime God closes a door, he opens windows and surfs pornhub
  6. BonjaminJehnson
    Every time God closes a door, he opens a window, but he refuses to admit he has obsessive-compulsive disorder
  7. BonjaminJehnson
    Heaven's to Betsy! Come in Agent Betsy! Do you read me?! Recycled. Couldn't find old one to bump. I only want to get one and I'll stop!
  8. BonjaminJehnson
    Still on the clock Hop Scotcherman..
  9. BonjaminJehnson
    Durrrrr, I'm Betty Crockerman and I just learned to use the MikeRowePhone! Welcome to Sodomy Chain Gang! Durrrrrr!
  10. BonjaminJehnson

    Puberty separates the men from the boys

    BonjaminJehnson replied to Pure Guava's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Well somebody had to
  11. BonjaminJehnson
    This is the hit podcast, gone godcast class, smooth as Pendergrass, leaving the been trod half-ass Ira Glass fraudcast, hot trash in dead last to the masses as fast as Grandmaster Flash on a field day. Making no headway. Child's play. Segue way A shame that even Scott couldn't read this without tripping. YOURE ON THE CLOCK TICK TOCKERMAN!
  12. BonjaminJehnson
    What does Duke Ellington have in common with beef Wellington? Both got those tasty licks
  13. BonjaminJehnson
    Q: What does the KKK wear after Labor Day? A: Who fuckin cares? they all just wanna get Negged and Pegged
  14. BonjaminJehnson
    You can lead a horse to water but you can only watch em sink
  15. BonjaminJehnson
    I don't know what's real anymore
  16. BonjaminJehnson
    A bottle of red. A bottle of white. I finally found an enabler. Marry me. Or atleast drive me home. I can't stand. I have two first names.
  17. BonjaminJehnson
    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, but with our new fish rewards program, you'll get a second fish every tenth day
  18. BonjaminJehnson
    A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Man, I didn't know Britain leaving the EU was gonna be this big of a change!
  19. BonjaminJehnson
    With Friends like these, who needs enemies? I have 10 seasons on DVD box set, I don't need anybody!
  20. BonjaminJehnson
    What came first chicken or the road? More importantly, does it really fit to end our movie about dancing like this?
  21. BonjaminJehnson
    The early bird gets the worm but recognizes its no longer relevant to dance like that
  22. BonjaminJehnson
    Why did the chicken cross The Road? Cause Cormac McCarthy is for the birds
  23. BonjaminJehnson
    From St. Louis. He comes up a lot
  24. BonjaminJehnson
    We gather today to remember Buck Cherry. Buck you certainly were a crazy bitch, now you look so good, you're on top of it. We'll always remember how you fucked so good
  25. BonjaminJehnson

    That wang Michael Caine said "Aloe Vera," to Vera Wang.

    BonjaminJehnson replied to Pugfugly Ate He Fore's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    If this doesn't make the show... I'll still listen but I'll be waiting for him to say it..
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