Witty Llama

I really wish Mr. Scharpling would stop throwin' shade at Sean's shades.

I think HH t-shirts would be:

I wish I could have warned Sean and Hayes against using the mailman as their confidante. Mailmen are notoriously idiotic. That being said, they also tend to be incredibly good looking; I happen to look exactly like a female version of my parents' mailman.

While certainly not our best sandwich available, elizamuffins' mention of roast beef triggered some violent flashbacks of my time working at Arby's when I was 16. There's one memorable experience when we actually ran out of roast beef, yet stayed open. I worked drive thru that day and had to open every transaction with, "Thank you for choosing Arby's, just to let you know we have run out of roast beef. What can I get you?" And that's how I learned the business concept of supply and demand: When you have no supply, your customers demand that you go screw yourself.

I was in a commercial for Big R when I was 12. It was Christmastime, and I - along with my family - played carolers. In the commercial, we (the carolers) went to a house and sang "Oh Christmas Tree" but without any "r"s ("Oh Chistmas tee oh Chistmas tee how lovely ah thy banches"). The woman whose house we were caroling at was then supposed to say, "Me-y Chistmas eve-y-body!" But she kept messing up her line and saying it like Elmer Fudd ("Mewwy Chwistmas evewybody"). We all got extremely irritated by her. At the end of the commercial, a narrator said, "Isn't life hard without any 'r's? Big R." I made $50 doing that commercial.

I hear you, Steve. I was afraid of even posting it, but then I remembered I'm clearly not racist. After all, some of my best friends are black: Rachel Dolezal, Tron_doe...

Found this racist masterpiece in an antique mall the other day. Anybody else think it reads like one of Sean's characters (Popeye's Chicken Lady, perhaps?)?

I like my coffee to be just like Donald Trump's attempt at becoming the next president: a shot in the dark.

Yesterday was the first day I felt relatively normal after getting the stomach flu on the 4th. And yesterday was also the release of a truly sick ep of HH. Coincidence? Yeah, probably. But thanks anyway, Sean and Hayes. I needed the loffs.

P-good ep. Also, P-good ads. I do want to apologize in advance to Mr. Scat Bippitybopbopbawkerman for answering honestly on that pod survey and saying I have more than "some high school" in my education arsenal. But he'll be happy to know that my household income is still under 10,000 a year despite my master's degree. lol...haha...*sobs*

Oooh boy, Brett, really sorry to hear about your derriére becoming derrihairy again. And to you, Sean and Hayes, for seeing all your hard work go to waste. True story, that song Kelly Clarkston sang - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) - was about this exact situation. She tried using Harry's Razors on a certain celebrity's hirsute behind, and man did it backfire. Who's this celebrity, you may ask? Well, it's a bit of a secret, but let's just say that the answer will shock you so much you'll get Whiplash. J.K.

The science of roommates Roommates. They're people we live with, when we're either too poor to live on our own or we're straight up masochists. Lesson 1: "You want a sink free of dishes? Screw you." Lesson 2: "Your milk? Our milk." Lesson 3: "Oh, uh, hey... I, uh, wasn't expecting you home so soon." Lesson 8: "I need a ride to the airport at 4 am, and I know you're available because that's when you're usually sleeping." Lesson 64: "I'm just going to leave your bedroom door ajar when I leave even though it was closed when I walked in."

Don't think I could ever stop walking on land. After all, skateboards only work on ground and I do sick ollies and other skateboard tricks for which I totally know the names.

Hey all, I just wanted to let you know that this week's episode really couldn't have been better timed. Last night, an eel asked me out on a date. He was well dressed in a business suit (pinstripes, baby), he had a steady job (electrical engineel), and he was about my age. I was about to say yes when I remembered Lesson #5 from the science of love, where it's not safe for land walkers to fall in love with an eel. So, I politely declined. Such a shame, but I'm sure he'll make some narwhal very happy someday.

Yeah, both of my cats are relatively ambitious. Here's my other cat (first photo) testing out her chops

Welcome, you two! Glad I'm not the newbie here anymore.

Man, I related all too well with these gentlemen's problems eating. If I had a nickel for every time my parents didn't feed me on the floor like a llama, I could buy a whole MESS of sweet treats and not have to worry about cleaning my room or finishing my plate.

"Hang on, just gotta drop these drawers..." "Oh Jesus, it's all gonna be true!" Thank you so much for this, Matt and Chris.

Happy birthday, Joe! You picked a good day to escape from the stork's beak bundle: Nestled sweetly between May the Fourth and Independence Day. I'll never forget the moment we officially met, when you told me "Great first post." Feels like just two days ago...

Thanks! It was less about restraint and more about not wanting to assume "in status" with the group. I mean, I have read science book and stuff, but I have a lot to learn.

Thanks, you two. I am so glad that this forum is filled with such nice, funny, smart people.

I'm so glad Sean told us how scary San Andreas is because now I don't have to watch it and get scared myself.