ChazFremontIII

Pressing up, up, down, left, a,a, b,b, left, up will automatically allow you to skip to Plugs.

Don't show up to a game of Banagrams wearing only your banana hammock. Nobody finds it clever or appealing.

Bingo may have been his name-o, but I'm pretty sure Charades was his game-o.

It seems only natural that a Greco-Roman wrestling match would end in a sword-fight.

Living life like a candle in the wind seems pretty great. You get blown constantly and never have to worry about getting fired.

Wherefore art thou, Alfa-Romeo? I'm pretty sure I parked you in section 5G.

Please allow me a moment to get Sirius. This offer for three free months of satellite radio ends soon.

If I had a dime for every trombone I've taken to the testicles, I'd have enough to make two phone calls in 1987.

I'm happy to fill your cannoli with some stromboli, if you let me rub my ziti on your titi.

And make it snappy, boys.

Rimshot! (No pun intended)

Let this one sink in for a moment...

My piñata was made of ciabatta, so yeah, it was a pretty crumby birthday.

My android might be paranoid, but my Roomba loves to Zumba!

So now I know; there's no body checking allowed in tonsil hockey. But I bet I can get away with some high sticking, if you know what I mean.

Bones, could you send an intern to clean this up?

One in a million chance, doc!

Time to book a flight to Moscow.

Look, I'm sorry I misunderstood what 'going to second base' meant, but you gotta admit these are pretty good seats!

They say eyes are the windows to one's soul. If that's true, I don't want to even think about what the butthole is.

When Life gives you lemons, ask, "What kind of magazine gives lemons as a thank you for your subscription?"

Papa's got a brand new bag. Mama's got an old vacuum in need of repair. You do the math.

Hello, Geek Squad? Yes, my disk is floppy and I can't get seem to boot it up. That's a problem, 'cause I really like to RAM!

It's like a smelly hygenist. You know what I'm talking about, Alanis.

Carmen San Diego was never really that hard to find. Most nights she was turning tricks outside Petco Park.