ChazFremontIII

Can we stop at the Waffle House in Charlotte?

Sugar Lobby

I avoided the noid like a bad case of hemorrhoids. And all I got for my trouble was cold pizza and a slimy ass crack.

Da-Da Da Da-Da Da Da-Da Da Da...Ole!

Me sir like-a that Susanne Somers!

"That's why the ladies call me Mr. Speed." - Dr. Paul Stanley

"John Lennon, back from the the grave, live in concert, one song, not his." Only 8min in and I'm already making a note for next year's best of vote!

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But let's be honest, if you've got even one bird in your bush, it may be time for a waxing.

Now she's carrying a watermelon!

That guacamole dip really packed a punch!

Let's get batshit crazy!

Bros may come before hoes, but ain't nobody gettin' between me and my garden weasel.

I haven't been able to get a hold of my pool boy Ramon.

... "I suppose you like chicks with more hair on their chests."

In fact, it would behoove you to know!

I've often wondered which is the more rewarding job; purse-snatcher or snatch-purser.

Don't ask how they made his eye holes.

Don't knockwurst it til you've tried it.

All I did was ask for a kiss. I'm sorry I confused mistletoe with cameltoe, but I bet it's a more common mistake than you'd think.

We have a name for guys like you back where I'm from. We call you plumbers. Could I get an estimate on installing a new p-trap in the terlet?

And don't get me started on that tuffet.

They call me Mr. Tibbs. Which is strange, because my last name is Jenkins. And I'm a woman.

An apology to the members of PETA I may have offended by visiting Sea World. My cab driver took me there accidentally. I didn't go on porpoise.

Where is Juarez, you ask? Well...you know Juneau? Head south then see me in Simi. My two sons from Tucson can show you from there.

Luckily it was only 220.