ChazFremontIII

I now pronounce thee the.

Accidentally labelling your wife's undergarment with your mother's name? Now that's what I call a Freudian Slip!

I sure hope life ISN'T a highway. The last thing I need is more sweaty workmen covering me with tar.

Talk about seminal moments in podcasting! It's gonna take forever to get this microphone clean.

Great, Ceasar's ghost. Just great. Now what am I supposed to do with all these croutons?

Let's beat feet to Fleet Street for that famous meat treat!

People who throw stones should make carefully considered real estate choices.

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your neighbor's Schnauzer away from your lawn gnomes.

Where there's a will there's a clearly delineated plan for asset distribution.

Though the old sailor had seen his share of navel engagements, he found her amount of belly button lint quite unnerving.

FTG

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Of course I warned you to duck! What worse could I have possibly meant when I yelled, "Spring is in the Air!"?!

If love is a battlefield, then I'm going to need someone from the National Park Service to come over and evaluate my bed for landmark status.

What year is it on your end?

Teach a man to fish and he'll steal all the god-damned Cod right out from under your nose. Try to enjoy your Lenten feast then, asshole!

Ancient Egyptian curses aside, that was one jolly-good expedition, eh chaps!

I dared to use Nair on my mohair underwear. Now I'm mighty tidy in my tighty whities.

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Sorry PETA.

Hey Crosby, Stills, & Nash, I'm all for education, but if we teach our children TOO well, we'll need to put IMplicit lyrics warnings on music.

I think the poet D.L. Roth put it best when he wrote, "Humala bebuhla zeebuhla boobuhla Humala bebuhla zeebuhla bop".

It's all about balance.

My Life on the Playground: or I Came, I See-Sawed, I Conquered.

Offer not valid in Atlanta.