imawigspert

Just watched this on Netflix and I don't understand how it hasn't been done already--this movie is insane! The tone is so confusing, I don't understand the ending at all--please do this movie!!!

BROS BEIN BROS, BRO! The whole premise of this movie from the opening scene is that Johnny Utah is a motocross biker (or whatever) and his friend dies because he overshot a jump, so seven years later Utah is...in the FBI? Does not compute. There are a bunch of steps in between those two events that we needed to be clued in on. It's a bunch of dead eyed actors and stuntmen covered in super fake tattoos, the music/score is so distracting, and there is so much ADR, but I still had to turn on subtitles because I could not understand a word Edgar Ramirez was saying. My favorite moment was when Johnny Utah called someone a funny asshole. This movie did not need to be remade, it was such a perfectly 90's movie and they ruined it. The names made sense in 1991, but Johnny Utah and Bodhi are so eye-roll-worthy in 2015. Also, it was directed by a guy named Ericson Core.

Honestly I'm totally on board with a movie about Pompeii, I can't believe it took so long for Hollywood to make this movie! But you're right, you totally know how this movie is going to end from minute one. Plus, the damsel in distress falls in love with Kit Harrington after she watches him break a horse's neck and then is instantly ready to give up everything for him. Like, I know Jon Snow is beautiful, but I'm not running away from my beautiful villa to make a new life with this blood-lusting slave. I want them to do this movie SO. BAD.

Whoa boy is this movie awful. To paraphrase Jason re: Keanu Reeves, "if you're wondering if Keifer Sutherland has got the fuckin chops to be from England, he does not." It has to be seen to be believed.

This movie is on HBO right now and it is totally insane. Charlize Theron is married to Johnny Depp and they both have pretty much the same haircut. Charlize looks terrible and is doing basically a really depressed version of her character from "Devil's Advocate." Their last name is Armacost, I'm still trying to figure out what I suspect is the deep meaning intended behind it. Pregnant Charlize salsa dances around her apartment, alone, while spraying whipped cream in her mouth. It's one jump scare after another, and not a single one of them lands. Charlize tries to give herself an abortion. "It was the warmth of your vagina" is a line Johnny Depp actually says. The protagonist is a radio. This. Movie. Is. Nuts.

I could listen to an entire episode of just June talking about Kate Mara's wig.

I know everyone thinks they have found the holy grail of HDTGM movies, but guys...seriously... "Terror at London Bridge," a 1985 NBC Movie of the Week also known as "Bridge Across Time," stars David Hasselhoff. That should be enough to convince, but wait, there's more: "Terror at London Bridge" imagines that Jack the Ripper was being chased by Police in 19th century London and fell off the London Bridge to his death. Cut to 1985 and the bridge has been dismantled--DISMANTLED--and rebuilt in Arizona as a tourist attraction. The last stone from the London Bridge has been placed and when a tourist somehow pricks her finger and falls dramatically on that last stone, it resurrects Jack the Ripper, who goes back to his old rippin' ways. The only cop who is brilliant/insane enough to actually suspect that Jack the Ripper is back from his watery grave is David Hasselhoff. It also stars someone named Stepfanie. "Terror at London Bridge" is on Amazon Prime for free, as well as Daily Motion. I feel SO strongly about this movie. I heard it mentioned on "Stuff You Should Know" and couldn't watch it soon enough. It is a gold mine.

Center Stage---behind the scenes of the cut throat world of ballet school! Complete with dancers trying to act, actors trying to dance, student-teacher affairs, bulimia, Peter Gallagher eyebrows, ballets where wardrobe, makeup and sets change instantaneously, and guys who have Oprah-inspired middle names. Also, I have never figured this school out--some people have been there for years, others get a job after one year, the main character goes there instead of college, and they live in dorms and are seen studying from textbooks...is it college? Is it high school? Is it boarding school? Maybe you guys can figure it out for me. This movie is terrible and I love it and I watch it at least once a week.