MCB99

Dead, Bath, and Beyond Or alternately- Bed, Death, and Beyond

The tone of this movie is so bizarre to me. It seems like it was only made to appeal to roughly 13-16 year old boys, people who would not even be able to buy a ticket to see it. It has awkwardly forced swearing and needless, gratuitous nudity, but it's never even as scary as a Goosebumps. Is this even supposed to be a horror movie? It's more in line with Twilight Zone or Outer Limits I guess, just without any of the subtext or quality. ------ It seems like this movie got made and the studio realized how fucking terrible it was and just said fuck it, let's deliberately market this as something it is not. I'd respect this movie more if they just stuck with the original Killbots title. Like it was mentioned in the episode, the poster is selling a COMPLETELY different movie, and "Chopping Mall," while actually a pretty badass title, doesn't make any goddamn sense for this movie! A movie called Chopping Mall has to be a stalker/slasher flick more akin to Friday the 13th or Sleepaway Camp or something in that vein. The Protectors do not and seemingly can not chop jack shit! The closest thing to a chop is Gum Chewin' Mike's murder, and we can all agree that's really more of a slice. The studio knew exactly what they were doing. That is some deliberate and sinister false advertising.

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