AshleyChupp

YOUVE DONE THIS TO ME JEFFREY DONT THINK I DONT NOTICE God what do I have to do to win you over?

Don't you dare bring up my shameful past with r/earwolf here. I'm trying to make a new life for myself. All I want to do is move forward! I'm a *real* actress now!!

These guys: https://www.facebook.com/absolutionkey A ton of my friends are involved in the Pittsburgh indie music scene, but I didn't know this band. They played well, but they were SO sleazy and the frontman literally hit on every girl at the bar, even the ones clearly there with partners. He kept touching us when he spoke and would carry his guitar around the bar with him and was just generally the hottest yet most repulsive person I've ever met. Same, girl. I haven't gotten laid in six months, haven't gotten laid well in nine months and haven't gotten laid well by a dude in over a year. Probably just gonna invest in cloning myself purely for sexual purposes.

A very hot (but douchey) dude in the band that played at the bar I was at tonight tried to hit on me so I told him his band sucked and when he asked my name, I said I was Marcel Duchamp, the toilet artist. Is this why hot people won't have sex with me?? should i try being nice to them and see if that works? Hot ppl on this forum, plz advise. I'm not drunk i'm hopped up on gatorade

I've upset the legendary Joe McGurl, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

Hey, Jeffrey, I'm going out to party with all my coolest friends tonight. Wanna come?

Oh wow this is crazy the whole reason I said for Jeffrey not to stalk me was because I'M stalking HIM and didn't want him to find out. What are we a friggin Shakespeare play? Haaahaha #goodjokes

This was even better the second time u posted it.

Excuse u those holes are exclusively for pouring cider into and also occasionally leaking out tiny amounts of viscous ear fluid. And I already pump the jams under the name DJ Viscous Ear Fluid

I actually live pretty close to there! (don't stalk me) Rad place, man. You actually have to pour the cider into all of your holes to get the full experience. I have a special advantage here because my body has two extra holes due to a genetic malformation known as preauricular fistulae. This means your body has three holes less than mine, so if you don't enjoy the cider, don't stress. It's just cause your body is inferior.

short, acoustic plugs theme 4 ur consideration

**WARNING** THE POST YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS 100% FREE OF IRONY Silvrwoman sent me this awesome swag she made herself and it's very cool and I love it and THANK YOU SILVRWOMAN

Silvrwoman and I hit up da club last night with a rando friend u guys don't know. Got this super cute pic of the three of us. What a fun night, we should do it again soon, Silvr! But this time without that other chick she was kind of a drag.

that was my q juuuust sayin. #yourewelcome

i think i saw an episode of Nip/Tuck once. a teen boy tried to have sex but couldn't because he was too embarrassed about having a foreskin. then his dad told him to be proud of his foreskin. then i think the boy had sex. although this could have been something i dreamed up while jerking off.

Sorry not sorry 2 post again BUT now that I finished that pod ep I just want to say that YOU *ARE* IMPORTANT 2 ME, HAYZIE BONE.

I will pay anyone all the money I have to do a cut of this with the host completely edited out and make it just Hayes talking. Hayes is working so hard to make this guy likable/listenable, and I admire him so much for it. It's still not enough tho. Sorry I'm being such a bad boy, but I must speak my truth.

I never finish inside, either.

i'm hurt that Jeffrey won't let me crash on his couch.

"I just don't think I *get* Hollywood Handbook." -my roommate Anyone got a couch I can crash on?

Every night I pray that the Lord Xenu will make me as sexy as elizamuffins and her bf.

They just brought the snakes out and I'm about to drink the Sacred Unidentified Juice Type Stuff so I can't really talk right now.

Hahahaha it's embarrassing how hard my bedside table is trying to fit in with you guys right now. lolol relax, tryhard

got some sick vid. I'll PM it to you, bro.

Making a Starbucks run. You guys want anything?