AshleyChupp

You can't say that that's our word

That's right, fuckers. Not only am I a beautiful and hilarious and perpetually drunk Millennial Icon who has been called "bae" unironically by Martin Shkreli......................... I can also read.

SteveH come out tonite with me and my girls for National Margarita Day!

This is like a thought experiment. If you were hypothetically catfishing a well known sociopath billionaire and it was going all right and he seemed to like you but you just weren't really connecting... What are some things you could say or do to make him want to give you lots of money? Hypothetically. Also it's not Donald Trump.

Harris followed me on Twitter, so my grief is more legitimate than any of yours. (I'm projecting my sadness as douchiness to make today easier to get through. You should try it sometime.)

Hey SteveH I forgot when you said you'd be in Pittsburgh, but if it's during the 27th at all do you wanna come see my team's improv show? You have to pay ten dollars but I'll make it worth it by naming a character in a scene after you or something. Or you can give me a really weird, uncomfortable scene suggestion and then I'll HAVE to do it. Wouldn't that be funny and fun? Okay, let me know.

Hey guys this was a very funny, good episode of the podcast Hollywood Handbook which I love so much. and also the pcg questions were very funny and good. and also RanRan is very cool and good and I'm glad I know her. and also Chickn's podcast is very funny and i'm glad I know it. Here is another episode of Ashley Reviews a Soft Drink only it's not really a soft drink this time, sorry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j0_LzHG24I&feature=youtu.be

K meet me outside the Lincoln park zoo and bring your finest safari hat, but don't ask me what for. Also do you have bolt cutters? Also are you a fast runner? But not too fast? Like faster than your average bear but still slower than me?

Why are dudes so fucking weird?

I'm in Chicago. Now what?

I listened to Montgomery's podcast and it was worse than Box Angeles.

Would like to take this opportunity to say two things: 1. I know in last week's ep of my pod with Jeffy Jazz I said some things about Kanye. Some... rather complimentary things. I take those things back and I'm very sorry for saying them. I knew it was wrong to give a man the benefit of the doubt and to publicly advocate for him but I did it anyway. Next time, I will just say no to having faith in men. 2. The sound in this week's episode is only so bad because I let Jeffington do the sound as a fun experiment. Never again. It's basically like I'm Brett and Hugh Jeffner is Cody.

Beyoncé sunk a cop car in the Formation video. SHE SUNK A COP CAR. Did you see that video? The whole thing was blatantly making a statement. But all anyone wants to talk about is Red Lobster?! History is happening, and you're all missing it! Willfully ignoring it, even. I've never seen such an explicitly pro-black and pro-woman piece of art in the mainstream but NPR still commissions white dudes to write pieces about it?! What is happening?!?! This is where we talk about the marginalization of minorities in American pop culture, right?

What are some good, funny pranks* I could play on everyone during a twelve hour bus ride to Chicago this Friday? Got a tinder date with that bean thing. *minimal bloodletting, please

The real cool kids, the bad boys, the rebels, the freaks but in a chill, enviable James Franco before we realized he was gross way... those ones are aloof loners who ain't give a damn about being popular because they know and you do too deep down that they are above this whole meaningless charade of "friendship" Take your stars and your likes and shove 'em. I need my space, dweebs. *smokes a cigarette in a cool way* Shit. I was supposed to be quitting smoking.

God damn it my charm must be infected again.

Hey guys u wanna hear a sick new podcast? Yeah I knew u did. Check out the pilot ep of the hottest new lil show on the block, Tough to Nail Down (with Ashley and Jeffrey) This is an innovative and groundbreaking piece of art where we completely dismantle and burn down our show each month and allow a new premise and structure to rise from the ashes like a monthly phoenix (which is also what i call my period). Pilot ep is just me and Jeff(rey Parties) introducing our show in general and the premise for the month of February. The next three weeks this month will have some dope guests that you know and love, so get hype. oh and episodes are only 30 minutes long. I will give you an itunes link as soon as we sort that out. in the meantime, you can subscribe 2 our feedburner.

Here's a pic from the listening party I hosted for this ep: We all cried and gave it five stars. Out of four. Grizzly says he's totally the Sean and Rambo is the Hayes, but Rambo thinks I'M the Sean and Grizzly is the Engineer Brett.

Now that Greggy's been on The AV Club where should we get him next? Jezebel? Playboy? The Impeach Obama blog my aunt keeps linking to on Facebook?

Jeffrey drinks PBR lmao

hmm apparently i got so blackout drunk last night that i transformed into a High Concept Comic Genius http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UU_J_QkFHUo v grateful i had the presence of mind to immortalize this occurrence

I am pro-Dixon, and I will not be silenced. Threaten all you want but me and my family we don't take guff from nobody. All my sons are linebackers and all my daughters are shotguns and we will defend our right to be pro-Dixon in this nation in anyone's faces.

My favorite is Hayes and my favourite is Sean.

Guys I just walked into the improv theater and this guy I did level one with said "Hey, I heard you on Hollywood Handbook!" so now I'm famous and you all have to respect me.

Ayyyyyy good ep lmao