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AshleyChupp

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Posts posted by AshleyChupp


  1. Thank you Hayes and Tom for reading this forum and knowing how badly I've been wanting to hear my favorite musical Hamilton discussed on my favorite podcast Hollywood Handbook. Even if you had just mentioned it, That Would Be Enough*, but the several minutes of discussion we got was a real treat. I am looking forward to hearing Hamilton's new podcast on Earwolf East. In fact, I can't Wait For It*. Today, I am finally Satisfied*.

     

    I have the honor to be your obedient servant,

     

    A. Abs*

     

     

    *Hamilton reference

    • Like 8

  2. You/she seem like a chill lady

     

    Oh man Silvr's the chillest god damn lady I ever done seen.

     

    So the other day, I go over to her house for a sleepover (you know, like grown adult women do with pillow fights and fancy, expensive nighties). I open the front door (Silvr's so chill she doesn't even lock her door) and walk into just the dankest cloud of weed smoke you can imagine. Yeah... she hotboxed her entire apartment! So chill, right?

     

    So I sit down on the couch next to her (she's wearing sunglasses inside and it's so friggin chill) and I ask her what she thinks we should do tonight. And she just says "Netflix, baby." (Netflix is the chillest thing there is, apparently. Who knew?) So we queue up a few eps of Narcos and just have the dopest time kicking back and passing the bong. But then, as one is wont to do when one is passing the bong, we both get the munchies.

     

    Silvr suggests we go get pizza which makes me really anxious cause I have to remind her I'm vegan. I'm worried that's gonna throw her off or irritate her, but she just says "Hey man, it ain't no thing. You can just pull the cheese off the pizza." I'd never even thought to just go with the flow like that before!

     

    So we drive to the pizza place (Silvr's driving because my anxiety is too bad to do it. She's never felt anxiety in her life. I tried to explain the concept to her, but she just wasn't getting it.) and there's ALL this friggin traffic. Now I'm getting really pissed. I'm hollering out windows and flashing middle fingers like a god damned fiend. Silvr turns to me, puts her hand on my arm gently and just says, "Relax, brother. We'll get there when we get there." And I'm like holy shit she's right and I just really unwind and let myself breathe and it feels great.

     

    Once we get home and eat our pizza, it's getting pretty late and I'm worried we won't finish all of Narcos before bedtime (7:30 pm, sharp for me). But then Silvr says to me, "Nah, man. Let's go outside and commune with nature instead. If you pay attention to the stars, you'll learn some shit." So we go outside under the night sky and just really rip on that bong and talk about important shit like is god real and stuff until we have to go to bed.

     

    I woke up at 8 am and went home, but Silvr slept for 14 solid hours straight that night, as she does every night.

     

    Yeah, Silvr's a chill lady.

    • Like 15

  3. I lost my key to my apartment over a month ago. I can't tell my roommate I lost it and ask her to make a copy because she will get angry and be mean and scary to me. So I've been climbing in the window this whole time which I GUESS is maybe a weird thing to do, but I'm so used to it now that it seems like the normal way to enter a house which is why I just did it in front of my neighbor without a second thought and was wondering why he stopped and stared while I did it. And now the absurdity of this situation is suddenly occurring to me. Maybe I should just do the logical thing and learn how to pick locks in a fast and chill way.

     

    this was a good, relevant post and I'm glad I did it.

    • Like 13

  4. You don't gotta explain anything to anyone! God reading that post made me so happy I am an old bitch who doesn't give a flip what anyone thinks any more. You will get here one day <3. I was once like you!!!!

     

    Oh man, I can't wait for that.

     

    I need to get "you don't gotta explain anything to anyone" tattooed on the back of my hand where I will be forced to see it 600 times a day. Muffins, you got some ink and a sterile needle?

    • Like 4

  5. I will buy a shirt, whatever it ends up being. I'll wear it, too. No question.

     

    BUT

     

    I really, really hope and pray to our baby overlord Jesus X RedCup that it doesn't have an inside joke catch phrase on it. Maybe it's just me but for me, I really don't want to have to explain my shirt to everyone. A lifetime of trying to explain niche comedy bits to people who don't care and only asked to be polite has left me truly exhausted.

    • Like 10

  6. Someone had to do this eventually.

     

    twitter.com/scuzzbus

     

    Email: scuzzman123@gmail.com

    Password: volleyball

     

    God damn, son. You are making me so proud today. I wish your father had stuck around to see you come into your own and just really crush it like this.

     

    Just a thought, maybe you'd want to get rid of that scumbag's last name and take your dear old mother's? Obviously this decision is yours to make but I'm happy to help you get it legally changed, and I just think Chickn Absinthe has a better ring to it.

     

    EDIT: now that I know chickn didn't originate this idea yet is still happy to post it here and take all the credit for it, I have to say I am deeply disappointed and am sending him to live with his father in Tijuana immediately.

    • Like 9

  7. I DON'T CARE YOU GUYS I REALLY REALLY LIKE HIM AND I'M GONNA THROW A TANTRUM IF YOU TELL ME I SHOULDN'T

     

    also I just applied for another job that's actually in my field which will take care of this pesky office crush situation tout suite

     

    I dated a coworker once. For a couple years. He emotionally manipulated and verbally abused me every day. He isolated me from any support network. He reduced me to a shell of the person I was. I left him a year ago and I'm still putting the pieces of my psyche back together. The sex was good though. And he's actually the one who got me into podcasts. So I'd say it was a good decision in the end and you should go for it!

    • Like 12
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