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Everything posted by ole_swerdlow

  1. I'm sorry that I've taken a step back from the forums y'all. I don't want to wedge us apart. i wrote "hollywood handbook forums' on my hand in sharpy in a business meeting today and my manager gave me a dirty looks so i stuck my tong out @ him. honestly I've been getting really into fresh air with imterry gross. on that one they don't share as much of the hollywood secrets that i need, but i did recently learn about how girls aren't taught sex like they're supposed to be taught it. like they really say to girls "its bad to do it at all but its also bad to not do it at all so how are they supposed to keep that straight?? and they dont think that mouth hockey is sex too. i dont know if my keyboard will last much longer many of th letters are crumbnling
  2. Have you guys seen this? It was just a postcard that I found in an old cedar chest and I read the whole thing back to front and it seems to me to be some kind of ARG that the boys set up for us. Does anybody have any more clues? I just ordered a magnifying glass on amazon but its going to take 16 days to get to me so we will have to wait until then.
  3. so...you must have spoken to slevanie to get that.........how did she look?......was she still wearing those brass baby shoes?.....does she still like how expensive merry-go-rounds are getting lately?.......does she still have to take that silly insulin thing every day?
  4. i have to avoid the front desk because a few years back after the bars slevanie and i frontal hugged for a medium-long time out by the carpark. and what, after all this, im supposed to just speak to her asking her to do a badge for me like we didn't do what we did?? i cant. not with our shared histories. up to now ive been shimmying up the tube that runs up the wall by the dumpsters (gas tube?) to get in to the forums sans badge. it works but to be honest, the tube (gas tube?) has been getting looser and looser as ive been using it day after day to skitter up the buildingside. depending on what tube it is (gas tube?) if i dont get a badge soon things could get a little bit....let's just say "different than they are now."
  5. you need a passbadge to get in first. they still wont provide me a passbadge even though i keep asking. they say the printer is too chunked up with ink to do it but i think they just are keeping me out because they disagree with my politics (transhumanist) and my favorite food (spreads). if you and i stick together we can support each other until we are accepted as "being normals"
  6. i still havent opened up the episode but i did want to just get in here and say a quick list of words that have been in my mind: i want to be inside this community with you. honest - i do. but sometimes its more difficult to get on these boards and post all day like chanson because i have things i have to do sometimes (eat). and if food is ready ,i must get over there and take it off the hot or itll burn more than sister likes it to be. i guess what im trying to say is - im important to you even if you dont think i am. i am as much a part of the internet board as the source code that lets it exist to us. if somehow i leave and never come back im still with you always and you can turn to me in times of turmoil (housefire or something) for advice. my plan is to give you spooky voiceover advice to you like obi won but i have to figure out the logistics first. im thinkin microphone? my house-fire advice is to dont eat too much smoke too fast.
  7. i used to be more of an “Early mornings” man but lately ive shuffled over into the “Mid mornings” camp. anyone else find themselves “trading up” when their favorite time of morning is? its just (if we’re honest with one another, which we should always be, right?) hard to stay consistent with my opinions because each day gives me new experiences that color the filter through which i experience the various sections of the morning. for example, during today’s “Late morning” i couldn’t help but think about yesterday when all my cousins died together. post your thoughts below.
  8. even though i just had what is probably gonna end up being one of my top lunches of the week, i couldn't stop thinkin about how good this episode was the whole time i was chewin up the good, good food. usually i can't think of anything but the food and its flavor - thoughts of it fill my whole head. but this week was different. (chicken finger sandwich)
  9. it was during my call last week that tom got frustrated about all the dude callers and declared this week to be all-female all-the-time. so i helped feminism i think. or maybe i hurted masculanism.
  10. if you ask me for my opinion, i say that the us congress system is a "fuck machine" and the citizenry are the vagina
  11. being a new person and reading this forum is akin to reading a choose your own adventure book from start to finish without skipping around like you're supposed to. _________ i haven't made a signature yet so this will have to do
  12. it would definitely slowly drift towards a hatefuck and I would both die in the end.
  13. Joke Q: Why's the hamhock always real afraid to go down to the corner store alone to pick up some smokes or nerds rope or whatever when it gets to be just past dark? Joke A: It was assaulted.
  14. Almost definitely. I would have expected Hayes to spend more than $26 for clotheswear.
  15. or also they have a "femaelstrom of influence and control" due primarily to those two bigboys sittin in that ol' brassiere upstairs
  16. when r2 zapped open that ewok's torso and crawled inside to stay warm i went bonkers. they've topped it. i never thought id be here now saying this but theyve topped it.
  17. i revolutionized the art of date compression.
  18. that hurts and, yes, theres much more that boys can do too. we're more than just what is behind our frontpants. we have feelings and some of us even do pottery (look it up). i open drinks for a lot of girls and it doesn't mean that they couldn't do it themselves, and frankly, i can't even do it myself a lot of days (bottlecap companies should switch from steel to something softer and more manageable like meringue or the sauce they put into the eclairs.). we've gotten to a point in our social structure where, yes, girls are the same as boys, and, yes, the lines are blurred. so if you're gonna say something hurtful like that, then, yes, i will speak up.
  19. ole_swerdlow

    Who is your HH dream guest?

    someone with that classic appeal like vivien leigh, william holden, or munky. all jokes aside though, munky. or jordan peele.
  20. ole_swerdlow

    Hollywood Baby Namebook

    Ralter. Or another name. Like Pridehouse. Thats the thing with names. They can have as many or as few letters in them as you can fit on the babypapers, according to law. Ive essentially crumbled my babypapers to dust from referring to them too often over the years. Now I know why they put the Constitution into a Glass Frigerator!
  21. ole_swerdlow

    Teesh hurtz

    if we were do shirts they would have to have something helpful on it like some top hollywood tips or also the dewey decimal number for books of acting. either that or we could do one of those dance step diagrams with the footprint outlines and numbers so at least anyone watching the shirt could still be learning while watching. someone wiser than me said once "never to stop learning".