Dead_Armadillos

God didn't make me. I made myself... out of Play Doh!

By Dead_Armadillos, May 11, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

He may be Homey D. Clown, but he's my homey and you haven't the right to call him a clown.

By Dead_Armadillos, March 15, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

He never said why he did it, but that Dwight could sure suck one hell'uva chode.

By Dead_Armadillos, April 1, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Fing Dwight

Hello. Do you have a moment to hear about our lord and savior, Dr. Philaenus Spumarius?

By Dead_Armadillos, June 14, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Hey, that guy stole my public audible declaration!

By Dead_Armadillos, April 1, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Holy frijoles is the secret to Papal guacamole.

By Dead_Armadillos, January 3, 2017 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Holy frijoles! Isn't it a bit overzealous for the Pope to bless a can of legumes?

By Dead_Armadillos, June 13, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

Hot patootie, bless my soul! I really love that 20th century avant-garde classical music!

By Dead_Armadillos, April 6, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I am not a creep, I am not a weirdo, I am into fondling myself before shaking hands with people. I am Dick Handler.

By Dead_Armadillos, June 29, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I am still trying to forget the things that I have done for a Klondike Bar.

By Dead_Armadillos, July 5, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I can't believe you talked me into leaving my friends behind back there...And just because they don't dance?!

By Dead_Armadillos, April 25, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I count the days that, in synchronious ways, my mind awakes with a pointless catchphrase.

By Dead_Armadillos, June 10, 2017 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I had a dream last night, I dreamt I shot a bear. I shot him in the asshole and didn't touch a hair!

By Dead_Armadillos, December 3, 2015 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I had a dream last night; I dreamt I shot a bear. I shot him in the asshole and didn't touch a hair.

By Dead_Armadillos, May 10, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I have no choice in life but to follow my nose wherever it goes.

By Dead_Armadillos, July 5, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I love you, you love me, but we all know these are just words at a midnight Waffle House. Nothing but scattered, smothered, and covered lies.

By Dead_Armadillos, March 31, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Scattered smothered covered

I screamed "Iced Cream" when I awoke from my wet dream that I had unknowingly redeemed.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 16, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I will swear to a life of celibacy if you promise to teach me the key to tickling oneself.

By Dead_Armadillos, August 29, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I'll never say it again; Never again say "never again" unless you're sure you will never say it again.

By Dead_Armadillos, February 25, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Never
• again

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. This is my handle and this is my existential prerogative to choose my sexual identity.

By Dead_Armadillos, June 29, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I'm the kind of guy who puts the jelly on his sandwich before the peanut butter, so please stop your puns about the holes in my sock!

By Dead_Armadillos, April 8, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I've been told that the secret of a successful egg farmer is to never count your baskets before supper.

By Dead_Armadillos, November 2, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

I've got my bicycle, I've got my suitcase. Now, won't you stop smiling because I'm leaving this place.

By Dead_Armadillos, March 30, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

• Emu

If at first you don't succeed, proceed to suck pro seeds for nominal proceeds.

By Dead_Armadillos, August 2, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions

If Philip Seymour Hoffman were reincarnated, would he in fact come back as a refill? (Re-Phil)

By Dead_Armadillos, February 15, 2016 in New Catchphrase Suggestions