I may be a two-pump chump for trump, but I am prepared to accept the results of this election whatever they may be...

[I may be a two-pump chump for trump, but I am prepared to accept the results of this election whatever they may be...]

so long as I can wear my Sean John® long johns.

[hey yo]

happy winter, fellow beanbags. get out your best clay, throw down your meanest mug, slap a handle on there, glaze it, toss that baby in the kiln and once it's sufficiently kilned and cooled, pour me on in. I'm hot chocolate, man. welcome to comedy bang bang

[listen punk.....]

you think I'm gonna just sit here while you open the show, introduce the guests, ask insightful questions and then get your grubby mitts all over my plug bag? THE HELL....I.....AM!! welcome to comedy bang bang, I'm not will.i.am

[it's weirder that babies have nipples. what's a baby need nipples for?]

ohhhhhh so that's what salt-n-pepa were talkin about in "push it"

[it's weirder that babies have nipples. what's a baby need nipples for?]

it's weirder that babies have nipples. what's a baby need nipples for?

[Put another log on the Wood You Rather pile for me, I've made some breakfast and comedy]

[Wake up you sleepy head, put on some clothes, shake up your bed.] Put another log on the Wood You Rather pile for me, I've made some breakfast and comedy.

[And now I say those magic words: Abra Kadabra Alakazam....... is this your child?]

And now I say those magic words: Abra Kadabra Alakazam....... is this your child?