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Glen Toran

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About Glen Toran

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  • Location
    Damp and cold Ulster
  1. God yeah. Hopefully and with a bit of luck, as other results go our way - which they seem to be at the minute, touch wood - we might already be through by then. And we used to be their bogey team. I still think we have better head to head stats against them, incredibly. Well at least we used to. To Firsttime, the best of luck for your lot against the Tintin merchants today. I dont think its well known how much we appreciated the RoI's fans spontaneous tribute to Darren Rogers tragic accident. It made a hell of a good impression. For the first time ever there'll be quite a few (including myself) cheering on the Republic in places where it would have been unthinkable only weeks ago. Theres a really good chance that all 4 British Isles teams getting through to the next round. Thats pretty damn unheard of. And also a bit of a sickener to the Scots who are sitting at home whinging about Coronation Street getting cancelled for the football and pretending that they dont give a fuck and feigning an interest in rugby or tennis or other minority sports.
  2. Yep. Spain the first of the 'big' sides to look impressive. I preferred a certain game from yesterday though. My nerves are fucked after that game.
  3. Im so Euro Championship obsessed at the minute that I forgot the next mini episode was even due.
  4. Im not going to waste anymore bandwith downloading consistently excellent Mitchell and Webb sketches as the page is taking a fucking donkeys age to come up as it is, but if you want some more good ones from them I can really recommend you google the pathetically mismatched crime fighting superhero duo, Angel Summoner and The BMX Bandit, and the SS men who are having second thoughts about the Nazis. Oh, and the Medical drama that eschews all the medical terms to concentrate on the drama. All Mitchell and Webb episodes seem now to be back on youtube. And also theres an overlooked gem of a BBC sketch show from the late 90s called Big Train. It launched Simon Pegg's career. They have some platinum standard sketches like, Alfred Hitchcock's The Working Class. The Goodbye Mr Chips sketch. Wanking rights in the office. Sam Peckinpah's blood soaked western, Chaka Khan vs the Bee Gees. (In which the Bee Gees prophetically die in the right order as they have in real life) Mike Henderson. And the radio DJ who keeps kids locked in a cellar to write 'banter' for him. Given the fact that this was shown at a time when some BBC DJs were actually probably keeping actual kids in cellars then maybe they were trying to tell us something. The Staring competition animations. The evil stop smoking hypnotherapy. At home with Ming the Merciless. Worth looking up if you are into the British sense of humour.
  5. My favourite Mitchell and Webb sketch is the gay party planners talking about some unwelcome guests.
  6. More Carry On than Collymore, you mean? We've now lost the Transatlantic crowd.
  7. That's taken as read, Smigglesworth.
  8. Fuckwits. What were they expecting from a religious allegory written by a 17th century Christian fundamentalist? Disco dancing and anal sex?
  9. Glen Toran

    In the Heart of the Sea (2015)

    Probably because in Hollyweirdland the act of someone actively putting on weight is as bizzare and incomprehensible as badgers doing calculus. They are so overawed at the concept that they feel as if they have to throw shiny things at them to make them stop.
  10. Outstanding effort Firsttime! 18/20 on the 20 question intro quiz. Suck on that ...erm...suckers?
  11. Damn you, Smiggers, that works much better.
  12. Glen Toran

    In the Heart of the Sea (2015)

    Well DeNiro famously did the opposite and bulked up for Raging Bull. And Amy Shumers legs were a revelation - to me at least - in Trainwreck. I have no idea if she got those after some sort of gruelling fitness regime or just always had a great set of pins that I never noticed before but I was impressed and they didnt seem to fit the rest of her.....no offence to Amy.
  13. Sounds like my old boys secondary school in the mid 70s. One lad had a small white streak in his hair, he was (& still is) Spunkhead. Another had a large strawberry birthmark on his cheek. He was Jambake. Bake being a local dialect word for jaw or mouth around Belfast. A friend of mine had a sort of natural 'fro and I cant post what his general name was but it would lead to an arrest these days. I have to point out that Black or Asian people were virtually nonexistent around here back then, and are pretty thin on the ground even now. He would kill for that ridiculous hair now though as hes as bald as a coot these days. If anyone had an Irish sounding name or else were of Catholic descent theyd invariably be Mick or Paddy. Another name of a classmate was Darky, but this was in no way racist because around here anyone with the surname Campbell was automatically Darky. I have no idea why. Its a bit like in the UK in general where if your surname is Clark you get called Nobby, or Dinger if your name is Bell. I was called Bugs or Bugsy, not because of rabbits or buck teeth or anything but because it seemed to go with my actual surname. Similar to Smiggsy's mate who knuckled shuffled in the school library, we had I**n S****e who was caught getting erect in the school showers after a football match (while on his own, I have to add and as far as I know he was and is straight). He wasn't wanking or anything , just teenage hormones kicking in at the worst possible moment. He spent the remaining 5 years at the place known to everyone, including some teachers, as Hoits. Hard On In The Showers.
  14. Dear old Cam. Always ready with a 'blue' waffle quip. Do not googleimage 'blue waffle'!......DO NOT GOOGLEIMAGE 'BLUE WAFFLE' !!!!!!!
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