Helen Ghostface Keller
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Everything posted by Helen Ghostface Keller
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Sufferin' Succotash, stop waterboarding those lima beans and corn niblets!
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Bo Burnham
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- conan obrien needs a friend
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Second place is the first loser, and that's why beggars CAN be choosers
Helen Ghostface Keller posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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Coming to a theater near you: Former NBA player, Mr. Grant, watches Pete Townshend perform a solo gig. I call it: Horace Hears a Who
Helen Ghostface Keller posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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You'd have to be batshit crazy to catfish Patrick Swayze. Because he's dead.
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A bird in the hand is worth one bird, regardless of how many are in the bush. Why would I pay you for more birds than you have?
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Here's the Catholic church, here is the steeple, open the doors and see all the weiners.
Helen Ghostface Keller posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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"It's okay to sleep with your cousin in West Virginia", I told them cop. And that's how I got arrested in Roanoke.
Helen Ghostface Keller posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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You'd have to be batshit crazy to catfish Patrick Swayze. Because he's dead.
Helen Ghostface Keller posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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The corn squid come but once a year, to eat your kids and husk your ears.
Helen Ghostface Keller posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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If the Candy Man can, kan the Klu Klux Klan?
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Herrrreee comes Johnny! Now, heerrrre comes Mitchell! Man, I love my life as an orgy announcer.
Helen Ghostface Keller posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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Sufferin' Succotash! Stop waterboarding those corn niblets and lima beans!
Helen Ghostface Keller posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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Never yell "fire!" in a crowded theater. Wait until you're outside, away from the smoke and flames.
Helen Ghostface Keller posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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He came as quickly as he went. And since it took him forever to leave, that must have been one hell of an orgasm.
Helen Ghostface Keller posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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Who let the dogs out? Who who who who, who let the dogs out? Next time wait until all bets are placed.
Helen Ghostface Keller posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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I don't get all of these places where kids eat Free. How can Free be so many places at once, and why hasn't she been arrested, yet?
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A teenage girl said she literally cried a river. She was committed for both psychological and geological research.
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I'm partial to blonde women, but I'm full-on into bald men.
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I once fell in love with a monkey. Thank God for evolution.
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She was as beautiful as she was tall; or should I say, she was the shortest girl I've ever had sex with.
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Dead Beat Dad Beats Dead Dad's Meat
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