Reneenongman

Love it a lot like a former Pizza Hut. It's great from a distance, but upon closer inspection, the Pizza Hut store has been taken over by Subway.

A lil bit of Monica in my life, a lil bit of Monica on the side, a lil bit of Monica blah blah blah, a lil bit of Monica all I need.

You know what they say about food: a second on the lips, a lifetime on the Instagram.

It's not so much the heat that I can't handle in the kitchen, it's more how I ate a chip directly out of the oven and now my mouth is on fire.

Feed the birds, Trump/Pence a bag. Trump/Pence! Trump/Pence! Trump/Pence a bag! CROOKED HILLARY RULES.

Trump can have the POTUS twitter handle when he pries it from Obama's cold, dead hands.

"Imagine all the people" - John Lennon said to Paul McCartney when pondering the idea of playing for an audience.

Kids today get their news from the fickle internet, but I do it the old fashioned way and get it from the news radio. ANDY DICK RULEZ.

I've heard of Charles In Charge, but Trump In Charge? Make Al's Diner great again.

Remember when Johnny Cash was like "Ya know what would make me more badass? Doing gigs in prisons and shit. Cool beans." (End quote.)

It's like the saying goes: "When in Rome... (always remember that it wasn't built in a day)"

Hey internet, stop telling me to buy your teeth whitening technology!!!!

CONSPIRACY: Full House was just a spin off of Three Men and a Baby.

I'm a Wikipediatrician; I go around child stars wiki pages and edit them so they all have chronic diseases.

You know what they say; don't judge an iPad by it's cover. You never know what's on the inside. (Probably apps and low storage space)

You're gonna fly away, glad you're going my way. I love it when we're Ted Cruzin' together.

Don't assume, because you make an Amy Schumer out of schu and me.

it's GhostbustHERS, not Ghostbust-wah wah misogyny wah wah. But it's ok, honest mistake.

Fun fact: 9/10 silences in 2016 are interrupted by a 55 year old tapping a long ass text on their smart phone.

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