GrantArmstrong

Do androids dream of electric soup?

Sometimes I wonder, sometimes I dream, sometimes I just pee in the sink cos it's closer.

One time, I went to Band Camp, and I stuck a flute in my pussy. Mr Snuggleworth did not survive the encounter.

Looking up at the stars and I'm thinking "Nice up-skirts at the 88th Academy Awards."

When I was young things were simple. My Mum took care of everything. Nowadays I have a Capital Wealth Manager, and things are still pretty great.

My love for Whisky is only matched by my love of ibuprofen and getting fired.

It gave me pause, when that tiger cut off his hands.

Lock the gate! And skip the first 10-15 mins.

Just to clarify, you melt the butter then skim off the milk solids?

If Budweiser is The King of Beers, then Ted Danson is the guy from that Whoopi Goldberg movie.

Fucking T shirt! I would never wear a t shirt, but YES!

And there was laughter, and music, and dancing! Sorry about your grandma, tho.

Give someone a fish, they'll eat for a day. Teach someone to fish and they'll soon figure out that fishing is boooooring!

Work hard, play hard. Get Hard isn't as bad as you think. Also, Spectre has it's moments...

Upon a 2nd viewing, this is for def my fav DC Bond movie.

She is wonderful btw.

Hazelnuts, almonds, pecans, cashews. This is going to be the best omelette ever!

So sorry, 2K? Again I apologise.

One of these days, our cows will come home to roost. Then we're all f****ed.

You say that? To my face? I'll see you at Thunder Road, my friend... It's that arcade place near the Olive Garden on Artesia... Galaga Tournament!

If time travel is just a concept, how come I can't remember what I ate for breakfast?

I love the way you love me. Although now my carpet is ruined.

Make hay whilst the sun shines. Unless you hate hay. In which case, make some pancakes!