DaltonMaltz

Charlie Sanders, Don Fanelli, and Laura Willcox join Matt Besser to experience a hardcore snow room on this week’s improv4humans! A child services agent has issues with interior design, a congresswoman takes a stand against her own daughter’s artwork, and an author is pressured to hunk up her protagonist. Later, we meet a teacher who gives fish for grades and a couple of spies that can’t fathom a human birth. 277 - Charlie Sanders, Don Fanelli, Laura Willcox (1:07 - 9:30) What the Fuck is Going On? - The $250,000,000 mansion - Pretending to own a fancy mansion to have a party (9:37 - 18:32) Let’s Talk Some More About That - Excessive and useless rooms - A couple experiences a Las Vegas snow room’s Revenant Package (20:52 - 35:03) Twitter Suggestion - "Alternative" - Grunge musician’s bad hair takes away from his intended message (35:10 - 42:34) Crap on Youtube -”Huey Lewis Groupie" - Child services cares more about the layout of the kitchen than the family dynamic (44:39 - 53:22) What the Fuck Is Going On? - Student art ignites controversy - Congresswoman takes a stand against her own daughter’s artwork (53:29 - 1:01:26) Twitter Suggestion - Hunkleberry Finn - Hunking up the kid in your manuscript (1:01:34 - 1:11:00) Let’s Talk Some More About That - Charlie was Don’s teacher at UCB - a teacher who thinks you either get history or you don’t (1:11:07 - 1:17:44) Crap on Youtube - "Babe, Something Just Fell Out of Me" - Hillbilly spy refuses to believe she’s giving birth

Dan Lippert and Drew Tarver join Matt Besser for this week’s improv4humans! They perform scenes about an impressive Japanese Starbucks, hiring a homeless man for entertainment, and getting matching airplanes for your anniversary. Plus, they jazz up the Olympic Pentathalon for a modern audience, search for the least offensive mascot name, and play “fuck, marry, kill” with the three stages of Jesus. 280 - Dan Lippert, Drew Tarver (0:55 - 8:05) Question from Listener - “Do you have any good travel stories?” - A tourist to Tokyo can’t get over how beautiful the Starbucks were (8:11 - 16:59) Twitter Suggestion - “Lizard” - Parent gets a raccoon for their kid so they can work up to a puppy (17:04 - 23:53) Crap on Youtube - "Dude Gets Caught Trying to Break Into Neighbors House" - Trying to learn about anal sex by practicing with your friend’s wife (24:40 - 31:54) Twitter Suggestion -”Tom Foolery" - A crazy homeless guy gets hired as party entertainment (32:00 - 44:22) Man on the Street Interview - “What’s the weirdest gift you ever gave/received to or from a loved one?” - Couples get matching planes for their anniversary (45:06 - 54:44) What the Fuck Is Going On? - The Olympic pentathlon- Olympic planners jazz up the pentathlon for a modern audience (54:49 - 1:10:27) What the Fuck Is Going On? - Amherst mascot nominations - Mascot selection committee accidentally lands on offensive mascot names (1:10:36 - 1:22:52) Crap on Youtube - "Teachers Playing Fuck, Marry, Kill" - Priests play “fuck, marry, kill” with various iterations of Jesus

Midwife-in-training Safara Qadesh joins Emily and Deanna this week to talk about her doula duties, the inspiration for her midwifery, and how to get the best upgrades for your tattoos. Plus, Safara helps the girls answer Instagram questions about rain drop drop tops and fist bumps.

Joel Spence, Colton Dunn, and Johnny Meeks join Matt Besser for this week’s episode of improv4humans. They perform scenes about a ragtag group of retail freedom fighters, children’s books that teach harsh life lessons, and a town up in arms about progressive snowmen. Later, they set unrealistic goals on their wish-boards, visit a shoe outlet that enforces a sock policy, and rescue their dogs from a rhino’s headlock. 278 - Colton Dunn, Johnny Meeks, Joel Spence (0:26 - 6:47) Intro Story - Colton’s Superstore memes - Joe Mantegna is known mostly for his anal meme (6:59 - 10:48) Let’s Talk Some More About That - “Pink Wink” search results - A visit from the Pink Wink man (10:55 - 15:53) Twitter Suggestion - "Nordstroms" - Ragtag retail employees take on the army (16:00 - 25:08) Question from Listener -”What was your worst movie going experience?" - A children’s book teaches a harsh lesson about following directions (28:10 - 35:02) Twitter Suggestion - “Snowstorm” - A religious town takes issue with progressive snowmen (35:08 - 44:22) Crap on Youtube - “Subway Customer Freaks Out Over Being Charged More Than $5” - A Subway hires someone specifically to be yelled at by customers (46:12 - 54:05) What the Fuck Is Going On? - Andre Bauth stabbed someone and claimed he’ll win 5 Oscars - Setting unrealistic goals on your wish board (54:08 - 1:01:59) Twitter Suggestion - “Shakeweight” - Personal trainers fuck their clients as part of the regiment (1:02:07 - 1:06:29) Twitter Suggestion - “Dirty Sock” - A shoe store enforces the wearing of socks (1:06:35 - 1:15:17) Crap on Youtube - “Man Punches Out Kangaroo” - Australians defend their dogs from a rhinoceros (1:15:25 - 1:24:10) Crap on Youtube - “A Very Quick Lesson” - A support group for people who don’t know how to do simple things

With the Oscars coming up, DAN LIPPERT from Big Grande’s The Teachers’ Lounge helps Sean and Hayes make their predictions for the big show.

Comedian Kurt Braunohler joins Randy and Jason this week to catch some Country waves! We hear about a naked track team drop-in and an NHL player who tussles with teens before the Sklars dive in deep with Kurt. They chat about his shift from alt-comedy to a more traditional style, upcoming prospects of parenthood, Kurt’s passion for surf, and his new comedy special “Trust Me.” During Quick Hits, they get into James Winston’s elementary school pep talk and a case of mistaken bus identity, and finally, the clone of Nicole Cage pops by to offer clarification on the Best Picture mix-up.

Actor, writer, and improviser Seth Morris joins Howard and Kulap this week as they fly past Checkpoint Oscar! Seth gives the inside scoop on “The Seth Morris Radio Project” and the gang debates the merits of the dry hump while they count down the Top Songs on iTunes. Then, they talk Oscar flubbishes and behind-the-camera stress during the Movie Chart. Plus, we hear Kevin’s Hot Picks and the story of Howard’s Santa Barbara crowbar caper during Two Charted.

Rapper and comedian Zach Sherwin joins Kevin this week to discuss the 1995 Denzel flick, “Devil in a Blue Dress.” They cover the most recent Denzel news, share celebrity grocery store sightings, and swap their first rhymes. Then they get deep into “Devil in a Blue Dress,” touching on Denzel’s chemistry with Don Cheadle and the best Mouse traits, and finally, the pair launches into a freestyle session inspired by the film.

Ian Roberts and Jessica McKenna join Matt Besser for a live episode straight from the SF Sketchfest! They take audience suggestions which inspire scenes about hashing out the specifics of butterfly travel, hiding baldness through haircut enthusiasm, and a jockstrap salesman competing with a lemonade stand. Plus, Melania Trump tries to make the internet smaller, and a dying man has very specific musical requests for his caretaker. 279 - LIVE @ SF Sketchfest w/ Ian Roberts, Jessica McKenna (1:47 - 7:55) Intro Story - The New Yorker cartoon contest - Shitty caption artists (8:05 - 12:36) Audience Suggestion - "Butterfly" - Dad has to explain everything about butterfly travel to his kids (12:40 - 18:43) Audience Suggestion - "Parsley" - Trying out the “two-handed seesaw” in the bedroom (18:47 - 25:16) Question for Audience - "Ever had a partner open you up?" - Date pushed on Ian’s butthole really hard on the first kiss (27:27 - 33:17) Audience Suggestion - "Combover" - Hiding your baldness by getting really into haircuts/a haircut fetishist (34:25 - 41:19) Let’s Talk Some More About That - Jessica's earthquake ritual - Actor method acts an earthquake during an audition (41:24 - 45:45) Audience Suggestion - "Skateboard" - Drill sergeant uses fingers to simulate basic training for army recruits (45:52 - 49:16) Audience Suggestion - "Jockstrap" - A jockstrap stand competes with a lemonade stand (49:19 - 54:15) Let’s Talk Some More About That - Don’t think of the pink elephants - Trying to ignore the nipple on your friend's face (54:20 - 59:30) Audience Suggestion - "Trump" - Melania's first anti-bullying speech focuses on making the internet smaller (59:35 - 1:04:05) Audience Suggestion - "Poetry" - A strip club has a very vague “more” offer for extra money (1:04:09 - 1:08:27) Let’s Talk Some More About That - Besser started out doing stand up at a strip club - Mistaking a bank for a strip joint (1:08:28 - 1:13:24) Audience Suggestion - "Mousetrap" - Doing the right thing means putting on a Nazi uniform to stomp on mice (1:13:28 - 1:19:12) Audience Suggestion - "Hospice" - A dying man abuses his death-accompanist

Hayes and Sean give a brief tutorial on trees art, then STEPHANIE SIMBARI and ELIZABETH KOTT from the That's So Retrograde podcast do the show to teach about crystals and the stars.

Director, actor, and improviser Alex Fernie joins Howard and Kulap this week to keep the La La Landers at bay! They count down the Top 5 Most Shazamed Songs This Week while breaking down Taylor Swift's crew fall-out and Alex's best musical critiques. Then, during the Movie Chart, they talk Nic Cage's stolen comic books and Matt Damon's appeal to Chinese audiences, and finally, Engineer Cody Ramhand helps dish out some gifts on Two Charted.

Actress Emyri Crutchfield (Roots) joins Emily and Deanna this week to talk about New Orleans fortune telling, her NAACP Image Award nomination, the last thing she taught her parents, and more. Plus, Emyri answers quick-fire questions about her first cell phone and her favorite pair to ship.

It’s that time of the year again, and Oscar experts Adam B. Vary, Kate Aurthur, and Jarett “The Weasel” Wieselman of BuzzFeed join Ronna & Beverly to talk all things Academy Awards! From Manchester by the Sea to Mahershala Ali, who will win out big time? Which actors and actresses will take home the gold for their performance? Tune in to hear from the best!

Sean and JON GABRUS help Hayes resolve an issue that has arisen from last week’s episode.

Writer and actor Noah Harpster joins Randy and Jason this week to discuss his passion for baseball cards and the struggles of being a Dodgers/Giants fan. We hear about the Twitter beef between the Mets mascot and pitcher Noah Syndergaard before the Sklars get into it with Noah about his role on the Amazon series “Transparent” and his recent project “One Mississippi.” During Quick Hits, they touch on a Tom Brady buttocks tattoo and Jose Canseco’s robot fears, and finally, Randy and Jason call up Harrison Ford to get the scoop on his piloting mishap.

Actor Malcolm Barrett joins Kevin this week to talk about their shared New York roots, giving back to the theater, transitioning from slam poetry into rap, and the history of Rufuses. Plus, Malcolm discusses the process of transforming his Sin City LP into a play before giving his Top 5 Denzel Flicks, ending with a dissection of the all-time Denzel classic “Training Day.”

Creator of the breakup app “Mend” Elle Huerta pops by to chat with Emily and Deanna about assessing post-breakup insanity, how breakups have changed over the years, the science of attachment, and dealing with social media. Plus, Elle gives the rundown on the “Mend” program’s functionality and the unlikely marriage of coaching and technology.

Special musical guest Colleen Green joins Mary Holland, Kevin Dorff, Horatio Sanz, and Matt Besser for this week’s improv4humans. Colleen’s songs inspire scenes about impressing your disco friends, a child only capable of older references, and having a tough time in calendar class. Later, we find out what really goes on at a mayonnaise factory and why throwing your money away is the most punk rock thing to do.

The bros welcome actress Tawny Newsome (Bajillion Dollar Propertie$) for this week’s episode of Sklarbro Country! During Takes, Randy and Jason discuss the Patriots’ White House boycott and a Super Bowl bet between zoos. Then, they chat with Tawny about her audition for SNL, touring with John Langford, and developing a theatrical edge. Quick Hits brings stories about Kevin Durant’s sour welcome in Oklahoma City and the Nazi anthem at a tennis tournament, and finally, the Sklars call up Kris Kristofferson to hear his qualifications for the position of National Security Advisor.

The bros welcome actress Tawny Newsome (Bajillion Dollar Propertie$) for this week’s episode of Sklarbro Country! During Takes, Randy and Jason discuss the Patriots’ White House boycott and a Super Bowl bet between zoos. Then, they chat with Tawny about her audition for SNL, touring with John Langford, and developing a theatrical edge. Quick Hits brings stories about Kevin Durant’s sour welcome in Oklahoma City and the Nazi anthem at a tennis tournament, and finally, the Sklars call up Kris Kristofferson to hear his qualifications for the position of National Security Advisor.

Howard and Kulap welcome comedian, actor, and musician Henry Phillips to talk about celebrity toothbrush caches and the Lady Gaga/Metallica Grammys performance. Henry talks about working alongside an all-star comedy cast in the new film “Punching Henry” before sharing his passion for radio on a special Valentine’s Music Chart. Then, he reminisces with Howard about the good old days during the Movie Chart, and Stard shares his childhood summah memories on Two Charted.

Comedy duo and twin brothers Randy and Jason Sklar join Kevin for some good old-fashioned Denzel talk. They swap Denzel interaction stories and Jason explains how he found common ground with the man himself before they review the Top 5 Best (and Worst) Denzel Performances. The boys touch on the fallabilities of Denzel’s characters and the power coupling between him and Spike Lee, culminating in a discussion about the 1998 film “He Got Game.” Check out Jason’s encounter with Denzel here:

Emily and Deanna celebrate the love-liest day of the year by talking with OMFG all-stars Daliya Karnofsky and Yimu Xue about Valentine’s Day yays and nays, why being single for Valentine’s can be a blessing, getting locked down with an older gentleman, and much more. Plus, the girls pay a visit to the “Bye Felipe” Instagram page.

The boys do another insane challenge they learned about on the computer, then JULIE KLAUSNER joins the show to help them with a new project.

Actor Jason Schwartzman (Mozart in the Jungle) sits down with Randy and Jason on this week's Sklarbro Country! The Bros listen in on Ray Lewis's pump-up psych out speeches before getting into it with Jason about his Sirius XM show "Coconut Radio," identifying your musical pillars, and childhood sensitivities. Then, Jason reflects on his working partnership with Wes Anderson and dealing with family fame. Finally, the Sklars welcome back Christoph Waltz to hear his take on Charles Oakley's recent altercation.