IRONicmerMAN

BDSM with a method actor like Daniel Day-Lewis goes too far when he won't leave the gag ball behind during breaks.

Stop me if you've heard this one before...our society is irreparably screwed. What? No, there's no punchline. We're fucked.

I watched this film and its cinematic-diarrhea sequel back-to-back this week. I had never seen either before. Oh my lawwwwd, they're horrible. The sequel is a much worse film, but it's almost too bad and almost has too much to talk about. Or it doesn't have enough because it's complete garbage. I think the first installment would be much better. Guys, I think this should be done. Unless Paul has a pact with the Ghost Rider himself after being in a film with Cage, it's a must. If the crew wants to marathon it, do both in back-to-back live shows!

I just found out about this film. I think it would be a solid choice. Mark Hamil actually has some decent scenes, but there's an overwhelming amount of bad in it, too. This is a fun review. http://www.thatsnotc...lipstream-1989/ "The film as a whole isn’t that good, though. The acting is bland mostly across the board, the cinematography is uninspired, and the plot is an absolute mess. Sure, the basic plot idea is easy to nail down, as we’ve already discussed. However, every 20-30 minutes the entire plot and tone change drastically. It’s as if writer Tony Kayden wrote three completely separate acts and decided to mesh them all together for the sake of it. It’s still a fun plot, but it is a complete mess."

Everyone, stay focused on the task at hand. We're doing God's work. He's too god damn lazy to lift a finger, so it's up to us.

William Hung, where hast thou gone? We hardly knew ye.

With all the darkness in our world, at least we can finally say that 2 Broke Girls has been cancelled.

I'm excited to announce the addition of our new in-house DJ, Kevin Federline! K-Fed, take it away!

When you cross the river Styx, be sure to pay homage to the aged rockers whose liquefied remains fill the stream and then sail away.

Instead of 23andMe, I went to 23inMe. It was a much more invasive swapping of DNA than I had initially wanted.

I just rewatched this one and Attack of the Clones for the first time since they came out. Wow. Really, really bad. I think Phantom Menace is actually slightly better. The "dialogue" and "acting" in the second one...sheesh. Really bad. It's been said that the topic is a dead horse beaten into oblivion and that there's not much left to be said, but I think there's a lot to discuss. In addition to how bad these two ended up, questions from the crew would be amazing. I feel like June would have some great insights/questions and commentary on the wardrobes. Jason could come to terms with his experience at the movie. I believe he mentioned once that he saw Phantom Menace in the theater, maybe on his birthday, and was super bummed.

I usually respond with a "meh" when the Fast and Furious episodes come up. However, this was definitely one of the best. I really liked the end when they talked about who could play a future villain. Well, here are my suggestions if Zouks is overlooked. I went across the pond. Tom Hardy: His gruff, brooding persona in Taboo might translate well, though the fast-paced FF movies might make him a less-than-great choice. Cillian Murphy: He showed his interesting villainy potential in Batman Begins. Michael Fassbender: His Magneto portrayal is awesome. One of the best parts of the X-Men series. Brendan Gleeson: <record scratch stop> What? Yeah, the big, lovable, cuddly Irishman. He seems versatile enough to flip to being a menacing villain. If not, maybe he's the understated villain. Bonus with him, he has sons who are good actors who could play villains as well.

Grapes of Wrath: famous novel or the morning after results from my wife's cheap-wine bender?

One of life's truly great pleasures and thrills is spending hours staring into the dull, dumb eyes of a pig that's about to be bacon.

I don't know about you guys, but the only MAGA I want is to Make Aukerman Giggle Again.

This is a good way.

A real Greek Tragedy, ya dig?

Baby got back. Yes, back indeed. Back to her roots, finding herself right back where she began. She also has a great ass.

If the proof is in the pudding, then let's dig in and see how the sausage is made. I didn't build this glass house for nothin'!

Fine, if you need a second opinion...yes, a sex dungeon is worth building. It's cozy and justifies exotic ways of jerking off.

"What's this word?"

I have essential oils diffusing in my office all day. Why are they essential? Because I have IBS and my office smells like a methane leak.

Fun fact: the Harlem Globetrotters was originally a team of New York globe salesmen. They failed when trying to launch a hollow earth alternate.

Friendly reminder, guys: Even in the world of a sharing economy, keep genital warts to yourself.