IRONicmerMAN

What's up, Knackwurst?

You get it.

We had beefs. Bury the hatchet, because it's water under the bridge. Now bury the hatchet in a hobo under the bridge. Bum steaks, anyone?

This year, be careful with one-night stands. You don't want to spend the season lonely AND infested with STDs.

Free will or determination? Doesn't matter to this guy, as long as I have some comfy, stlyish Crocs on my feet.

A Buddhist Proverb says: “When the philosopher points at the moon, the fool looks at the finger.” Then, fool gets slapped in the nuts.

Oscar Wilde's quote has been cheapened by history. It should fully read: "I can resist everything except temptation...and Sloppy Joes, extra sloppy."

Ms. Gibson's "Debbie Does Dallas" concert series left a lot to be desired considering what I expected her to be doing. Otherwise, it was fine.

Not your fault, but good on you for posting a mea culpa.

With which part of the statement?

Keep your Full Nelson and Half Nelson. I'll take a Quarter Willie Nelson and be on my merry way.

If I've got to fight for my right to party, then y'all better get ready, because hell hath no fury like party-starved fists of rage.

Quote me on it: the 15th-century Voynich Manuscript really just has directions telling you the way to San Jose.

Do they have turkeys in Turkey? Yes, but Turkey calls turkeys "hindi", which is also a language. Who's talkin' turkey now? Oy vey.

If Helen Keller couldn't drive cars because she was a blind woman, what was her excuse for not piloting a dirigible? Again hiding behind gender?

I think I speak for the other apocalyptic Norsemen when I say we're ready to Ragnarok and Ragnaroll!

"The end is neiiiigghhhhhhh!" said a panicky, prophetic pony who mistakenly boarded the Elmer's shuttle.

This should be a doozy. I saw the movie as a kid but probably haven't watched it again for 20 years or so. On another note, has anyone else noticed that Zouks' comments have been much less pervy the last couple months? Is he ok?

I think Thanksgiving is the holiday equivalent of flyover country when it comes to noteworthy films. There's a lot to pick from when it comes to Halloween and Christmas. There's not as many to pick from for Turkeypalooza, but this list includes a Garry Marshall offering (maybe Paul F Tompkins could guest host, because...it's been a while!), Paul Blart and Son in Law. There are even horror films to choose from! https://www.wikiwand.com/en/List_of_films_set_around_Thanksgiving Do people seek out Thanksgiving-themed films to watch around the holiday? Probably not, but maybe this will start a movement. It could also inspire new filmmakers to focus on the holiday for future films! Eh, probably not.

Fun fact: freeze tag was invented by the Donner Party cattle, and perfected by the people.

You mean the Brits don't celebrate our holiday out of spite? I do remember the October placement for Thanksgiving in Canada. How big is Halloween up that way? Do most people go as hockey players or wendigo? My pick would be the latter. I thought a Garry Marshall episode would be a nice crossover from Comedy Bang Bang, because Tompkins has done the character in the past. Really, this was my shameless plug to get more Tompkins air time. He's amazing.

I don't "love the Solo Bolo" because I can't get into Ben Schwartz. However, I do love that the cuffs are off Sloppy Dockerman so he can get weird instead of just playing the moderator. If I know Sloppy, and I don't, I bet he relishes that hot dog of an opportunity.

There should be enough turds to pick up from this basket. https://www.wikiwand.com/en/List_of_theatrical_Christmas_films

Bump. Come on, guys. Make this happen.