Jump to content
đź”’ The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... Ă—

IRONicmerMAN

Members
  • Content count

    778
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by IRONicmerMAN

  1. I know, crazy recommendation considering Requiem for a Dream isn't a bad film. I really like this movie and others from Darren Aronofsky (sans Noah; yuck). But come on...and to quote Jason, this is bonkers! The last 30 or so minutes of the film are so discomforting even after seeing the film a few times, and I've got a pretty high threshold. This movie is seriously crazy...well acted with an engaging story line, but it's insanity. Or, sticking with Aronofsky's works, what the hell... Noah: That movie sucks. I couldn't make it through the movie. I mean, it sucks. Maybe I'm missing something, but 77% on Rotten Tomatoes? Bonkers! The Fountain: Great film (humble opinion), but how the hell do you talk the studio into giving you $35M for a budget?!?! That had to been a convincing pitch of a really confusing story. This was made pre-Wrestler, so Aronofsky wasn't too widely known just yet.
  2. IRONicmerMAN

    Requiem for a Dream (2000)

    Ok, I won't give you credit. It wasn't funny or even slightly clever, so I won't bother. Satisfied? I bet you're a real treat at parties you're never invited to. How is Requiem "probably the worst suggestion"? HDTGM did not one but two episodes on Crank, which was nothing more than a wild action movie. Requiem is crazy: mental health, extreme drug use, ass2ass. It originally got an NC17 rating and had an appeal denied, so they released it unrated. This film took some balls to get made. Sorry you missed the point.
  3. I love Bill Murray, so it's hard to recommend A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III. Written, directed and produced by Roman Coppola, this is hot garbage. Big time. It stars Charlie Sheen and even includes some Western elements. The description doesn't do the film justice of its bonkerness. 'TIME said that the film "does not lead to a deeper understanding of Charlie Sheen. It does, however, demonstrate his compulsion for poor judgment and bad choices. But weren't we already convinced of that?"' "it isn't a movie so much as a feature-length perfume commercial for a Charlie Sheen signature cologne with gorgeous packaging and absolutely nothing inside." "might generously be described as cut-and-paste – or more accurately as 'throw stuff to the wall and see what sticks'" https://en.wikipedia...harles_Swan_III 'In the 1970s, successful graphic designer and ladies' man Charles Swan III (Sheen) is dumped by his girlfriend Ivana (Winnick), and it throws his life into a tailspin. He does not know whether he loves her or hates her or wants her back or never wants to see her again. Along with his best friend, Kirby (Schwartzman) and his manager, Saul (Murray), Charles starts to suffer from nightmares, fever dreams of past relationships and hits rock bottom as he tries to recover from the recent breakup and tries to turn his life around.' Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWijct7LzAE
  4. IRONicmerMAN

    Roboshark (2015)

    This one is almost too stupid to mention. Roboshark: "A great white bites a UFO aircraft in the Pacific and turns into a robo/shark hybrid." The acting is atrocious, and the CGI might be even worse. “Oh my God, It just ate Bill Glates! It just ate Bill Glates!” – Trish. Oh, and Bill's wife? Belinda. Bill and Belinda Glates...Bill and Melinda Gates. Jesus. Trailer:
  5. IRONicmerMAN

    Jason Mantzoukas Supercut

    I know he's gotten slack for saying "literally" literally too much, but I want a supercut of his best moments: Literally Orgasm mentions Taking off pants Oh boy/Oh brother On another note, does anyone else think his voice sounds like a vocal lovechild from Mark Wahlberg and Tracy Morgan?
  6. IRONicmerMAN

    Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs. (2015)

    Before I started listening to this podcast, my Netflix queue was full of good movies and series. Over the last couple weeks, I've loaded it up with garbage movies like this one, Roboshark, 10.0 Earthquake and a few Nic Cage turds. This one is on my list, and might be up next. Eric Roberts hasn't had a magical career, but this had to be a low point.
  7. IRONicmerMAN

    Requiem for a Dream (2000)

    French film? I haven't seen it, but this review quote makes it seem like it would be bonkers. "If outraged viewers (mostly women) at the Cannes Film Festival are any indication, this will be the most walked-out-of movie of 2003."
  8. IRONicmerMAN

    Things (1989)

    I'm going to second Winterbeast, mentioned above. The YouTube trailer looks brilliant. Brilliant, I tells ya!
  9. IRONicmerMAN

    Roboshark (2015)

    True, but do those have a robotic shark that communicates via Twitter? Even if it doesn't make the podcast, I recommend anyone with a Netflix account give it a watch.
  10. IRONicmerMAN

    Deadfall (1993)

    Although, you may want to just limit it to the Cagey parts. Otherwise, it's a real snoozer.
  11. IRONicmerMAN

    Deadfall (1993)

    How is this movie not getting more traction? I mean, come on...look at all this Cage!
  12. IRONicmerMAN

    Ask Paul!

    You guys should really be more forthcoming when there are spoilers about to be dropped. Over the weekend, I had "I Know Who Killed Me" ruined by you guys. Ruined!
  13. IRONicmerMAN

    Tammy & The T-Rex (1994)

    "This Tyrannosaurus Rex just wants to be a party animal!" Truer words were never spoken.
  14. IRONicmerMAN

    10.0 Earthquake (2014)

    Amazingly, there's a decent amount of 5-star reviews on Amazon for the warning on fracking. What the frack?
  15. IRONicmerMAN

    10.0 Earthquake (2014)

    I searched the archives and was shocked to not see 10.0 Earthquake listed as a recommendation. Maybe the search failed me and moderators will post the thread, but I didn't see this turd called out as an awful piece of cinema. I had my two-year old daughter sleeping next to me while I watched, and I had to avoid laughing too loud. https://en.wikipedia...10.0_Earthquake I'm not going to spoil it, but here are some points on why this should get strong consideration: In the trailer alone, you can see a continuity issue with the black SUV. It was obvious in the movie, and they didn't even take the care in the trailer to cut it out. Sometimes it's a late model Ford Explorer, but one scene shows a BMW X5 that's about 10 years old. They look little alike. Pinata determination. Bad surfer dialogue. "Dude?" A nerdy teen uses random science ("dog poop compass") knowledge as major plot lines...and gets a boner. The only sex scene does not end well. At all. Convicted (real life) pederast Jeffery Jones, the principal nemesis of Ferris Bueller, is featured as a neurotic, Red Bull-slugging USGS scientist with an attractive wife. He also claims arrest authority for the USGS. He also says Long Beach is a waste. Cheesecake! Slight spoiler: the trailer makes the movie look much better than it really is, so enjoy. Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4bx6zXPEOI For those interested, this is on Netflix right now. If you don't have Netflix, the entire bad movie is on YouTube. Enjoy. Or don't.
  16. Just awful. I don't know what is worse; the film itself or this Wikipedia summary. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qry7XccmQKo https://en.wikipedia...ippie_in_Israel "Young American hippie and war veteran, Mike (Asher Tzarfati), travels to Israel shortly after his involvement in Vietnam. Hitchhiking and "bumming around" Hippie Mike meets up with three Israelis along his journey — stage actress Elizabeth (Lily Avidan), another female hippie friend (Tzila Karney), and her Hebrew-speaking boyfriend Komo (Shmuel Wolf). They join a larger group of hippies and decide to form an isolated community on a deserted island, where they can live in peace "without clothes, without government, and without borders." The hippies are not without their foils, and find them in two gun-toting, top-hat-clad, mime-like enforcers (who regularly appear out of nowhere) and who are out to make Mike's life miserable. Reviewer Brian Orndorf notes that, “Sefer doesn't explain who these guys are or what they're ultimately after, hinting that the duo might be the personification of "The Man" out to silence the hippie uproar.” Led by Hippie Mike, the quartet of hippies manages to survive a gun attack by the mad mimes and the group flees to the uninhabited island. On the road trip to the island, the hippies quickly forget their worries, tossing their clothes in the wind and enjoying the ride in Elizabeth’s chic convertible car. As they drive down the Israeli coast, they stop along the way to make love, to drive in circles for no reason, and to pick up the supplies they'll need on their island (including the purchase a bag of groceries and a live goat). They finally arrive at the island and park their car on shore, using a small dingy boat to row their way out there. Once on the Island, the elated hippies do a free form dance, stripping off their clothes and when dusk hits, they settle in for some delicious canned food by the fireside. That night, the hippies pronounce their love for each other and proclaim how, “full of shit” the world is. They wake up the following morning to find that both their boat and the goat have mysteriously vanished overnight. Shark-infested waters then make it impossible for any of them to swim to the mainland where the car sits on shore. As the women get hungry and tempers flare, the men forage for food, winding up with nothing but a handful of barnacles that Mike manages to scrub off of some rocks. Much like the story that clearly was an inspiration, The Lord of the Flies, when push comes to shove, the idyllic situation quickly from Eden to hell and the dark psyche of the Hippies’ true nature is revealed in the end."
  17. IRONicmerMAN

    Ask Paul!

    More HDTGM shirts. I want more. Do you have a repository of older versions still waiting to be purchased? If so, I've got some skrilla to throw your way. Onward!
  18. Food crisis averted. There is now a Subway fittingly located in the South Sandwich Islands.
  19. IRONicmerMAN

    Nine Lives (2016)

    Spacey. Walken. Even Hines. Is this, dare I say it, a pet project of some sort? How sad. And how could this trainwreck need five writers?!?! From the production company: "This Summer's Purrfect Comedy for the Whole Family!" Terrible. They could have swapped "fur" in as "for" to complete this diarrhea slogan, but couldn't even get that right.
  20. IRONicmerMAN

    2nd ANNUAL HOWDIES - COMING SOON & WE NEED HELP

    L. Ron Hubbard Space Jazz: "Windsplitter" ***The description says this was in Battlefield Earth*** Jan Terri: Journey to Mars
  21. IRONicmerMAN

    2nd ANNUAL HOWDIES - COMING SOON & WE NEED HELP

    Some choice beats for your endeavor. Theme song options: For your intro Jan Terri
  22. 1. Manos: The Hands of Fate https://en.wikipedia...e_Hands_of_Fate 2. Pulgasari (aka North Korean Godzilla) https://en.wikipedia.../wiki/Pulgasari 3. The Final Sacrifice https://en.wikipedia...Final_Sacrifice 4. An American Hippie in Israel https://en.wikipedia...ippie_in_Israel 5. Zaat https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zaat
  23. IRONicmerMAN

    Rancid Aluminium (2000)

    This is hot garbage. There's not even a description on Wikipedia. Despite a couple decent cast members, "Rancid Aluminium" is just, well, rancid. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rancid_Aluminium https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AibNZoDSXt8 "Rancid Aluminium is a terrible mess from first-time feature director Ed Thomas, with a screenplay by James Hawes adapted from his own bestselling novel. It's about a young guy Pete (Rhys Ifans) and his dodgy accountant mate Deeny (Joseph Fiennes), who, to save their failing London business, get involved with the Russian mafia. This film succeeds in getting its cast - some of the brightest and best of British character actors, young and old - to give the worst performances imaginable. Joseph Fiennes does a one-eyebrow-raised smirk, with a bad Irish accent. Tara Fitzgerald plays a beautiful Russian woman whose accent veers wildly around and appears, at some stages, to be dubbed. The plot is all over the place, eventually incomprehensible, and very, very boring. The film-makers clearly have not the slightest interest in how the Russian mafia really look or behave, remaining content with a silly, uninteresting vodka-commercial caricature. This film wastes a lot of talent."
  24. IRONicmerMAN

    Because I Said So

    I feel like this Mandy Moore/Diane Keaton turd was overlooked because it landed the same year as "I Know Who Killed Me". Well, "Because I Said So" is bad. Really bad. Just look at how they marketed the film. I went to it with a date, and even she thought it was a wretched film. Based on audience research mentioned on the Wikipedia page, I was in a small minority of men attending. 5% on Rotten Tomatoes for this garbage is being generous. Trailer: https://en.wikipedia..._Said_So_(film) "The movie focuses on Daphne (Diane Keaton), the loving but over-bearing mother of three girls, in particular Milly (Mandy Moore). Her other daughters Maggie (Lauren Graham) and Mae (Piper Perabo) are happily married but Milly has recently broken up with her boyfriend, and Daphne is concerned. Daphne fears that her daughter cannot find a good man on her own so she secretly places a personal ad for her daughter. She finds a potential candidate, Jason (Tom Everett Scott), and tries to orchestrate a chance meeting of the two. The plan seems flawless until Milly finds her own date, guitarist Johnny (Gabriel Macht), who happens to be a candidate Daphne rejected before. Milly is unaware of her mother's scheming and begins relationships with both Jason and Johnny at the same time, with neither aware of the other. Inevitably, this double-dating takes its toll and Milly becomes estranged from both Jason and Johnny. In Jason's case, it is because she discovers Daphne's scheming. Meanwhile, Daphne stumbles upon her own perfect match after being alone for many years and begins to challenge her search for the perfect match for Milly. Milly also realizes she has a choice to be the daughter her mother wants her to be, or to be the woman she wants herself to be. Choosing the latter, which comes with a row with her mother, leads her to reconcile with Johnny, a relationship Daphne has realized she should have tried to orchestrate in the first place."
  25. IRONicmerMAN

    Jack and Jill (2011)

    I think you could throw just about any Adam Sandler movie since Punch-Drunk Love out to HDTGM and have a solid discussion over how bad they are. What was Netflix thinking giving him a multi-movie deal?
×