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MarkDowling

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Everything posted by MarkDowling

  1. Tragedy + time = PTSD
  2. Some people call me the Space Cowboy but my birth certificate says otherwise.
  3. I'm not crying, I'm just drooling out of my eyes.
  4. Dr. Pepper was a woman.
  5. A broken clock is five o'clock somewhere.
  6. A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool? Fonzie.
  7. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I once met Al Roker.
  8. I can't operate on this boy, for I am an irresponsible doctor.
  9. TED Talks, but does TED ever listen?
  10. Self-driving car, or ghost chauffeur? The answer may surprise you.
  11. I put my pants on one leg at a time. But you should see how I put my shirts on.
  12. So tell me... is there a Mrs. Bean?
  13. It takes two to tango, three to tangle.
  14. I'm rubber, you're glue. Hey! Let's make a rubber/glue sandwich.
  15. U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi. I hereby sentance you to life in prison.
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